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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡± has downloaded:

Gonna waterboard my houseplants so they know who’s the boss.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡· has viewed:

So many spreadsheets and not once did I feel excelled.

Someone from πŸ‡©πŸ‡Ώ has copied:

What do you mean a baguette isn’t a female bag?

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡² has bookmarked:

I’ve woken up yet again without an emotional support capybara.

Someone from πŸ‡«πŸ‡· has copied:

I’m old enough to remember when rainbows were in black and white.

Someone from πŸ‡­πŸ‡Ή has downloaded:

I don’t mean to disrupt the hotel industry, but how about checkout is 24 hours after you check in?

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡Ί has viewed:

My AI-generated girlfriend is hotter than your real girlfriend.

Someone from πŸ‡±πŸ‡° has copied:

My wife just pulled me into the other room, and I thought she wanted to have a serious talk, but she just wanted to give me M&M’s without the kids seeing.

Someone from πŸ‡ͺπŸ‡ͺ has bookmarked:

That moment when you dip your cookie in milk for too long and it breaks off, then you wonder why bad things happen to good people.

Someone from πŸ‡©πŸ‡° has bookmarked:

Sorry, I said yippee when you took off your pants. Do you still think I’m hot?

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Updated

Dec 27, 2025

Users Online

4,024

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Breaking via Threads:

Before you just FaceTime me randomly, please don’t.

Just landed via X:

College is literally just you, your laptop, and your water bottle against the world.

Making waves on Instagram:

You can be under 25, just don’t do it around me.

Spotted on Discord:

Jan 1st: Avocado on whole grain toast with a protein shake. Jan 20th: Syrup comes from a tree so technically it’s a vegetable.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Adults should get spring break from their jobs.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Men shouldn’t be allowed to download any app other than Wikipedia.

Making waves on Pinterest:

β€œLmao” has survived and even thrived over the years, but its cousin β€œrofl” has faded into indignity. The cruelty of fate.

Just landed via Snapchat:

When you’re young, weekends are for fun. When you’re older, they’re for recovery.

Spotted on Slack:

Today I learned that up to half of the worker ants in a colony are only pretending to work, just looking busy so they don’t get tasked with anything. I respect ants so much more.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Only two things are certain: death, and Princess Diana’s face on at least one grocery store magazine.

Home Β» Funny Home Activity Quotes

Funny home activity quotes

Funny home activity quotes bring laughter and lightness to our everyday routines πŸ‘πŸ˜‚ Whether you’re cooking up a storm, tackling chores, or just lounging around, these witty sayings add a splash of joy to your day πŸŽ‰πŸ§Ή Ready to turn your home vibes from mundane to hilarious? Let’s dive into some playful words that make staying in feel like a comedy show! 🎭✨

New funny home activity quotes πŸ‘‡

All funny home activity quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes πŸ‘Œ

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! πŸ˜‰βœŒοΈ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. πŸ˜‚πŸ’₯

πŸŽπŸŽ…πŸŽ„ Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

23 shares on Pinterest this month:

Roses are red, I’m staying in bed. I’ve made no plans, besides pretending I’m dead.

81 shares on Messenger this month:

You know you’re getting old when you clean the house to the music you used to go out to.

14 shares on Telegram this month:

I heard God is testing both of us at the same time. Wanna hang out?

95 shares on Twitch this month:

Gay? We don’t use that word anymore. Person of rainbow.

24 shares on Twitch this month:

Dear recipe websites. I don’t need your life story. Just give me the recipe.

25 shares on Instagram this month:

A bridesmaid, but to carry the end of my CVS receipt.

58 shares on Reddit this month:

Don’t ask me ‘how are you?’ unless you’re willing to sign an NDA.

31 shares on WeChat this month:

I don’t remember if I took my pills, but I can’t check because I can’t remember where I put my glasses.

96 shares on Discord this month:

Thank you, God, for another day. Let’s get this 12-hour screen time.

69 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Whenever I’m not eating a breakfast sandwich I wish I was eating a breakfast sandwich.

Trending Topics πŸ“

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes πŸ’₯

17 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Aliens probably have group chats called Don’t Stop on Earth.

20 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my grandfather did, in his sleep, not screaming, like the passengers in his car.

16 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I can’t wait to retire so I can get up at 6 a.m. and go drive around really slow and make everybody late for work.

24 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

β€œYou’re at the age where both 1990 and 2003 are flirting with you.”

6 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Nonchalant men are not for me. I want mine to have a panic attack if we’re not talking.

17 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

This body is a temple; I suicide bomb every day.

12 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Made my last mortgage payment. Yay! I still owe a lot, I’m just not paying anymore.

5 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

The only problem I have with chocolate is that one minute it’s there and the next it’s not.

17 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

It’s all fun and games until you send the clapping emoji instead of the prayer hands when commenting on the news of a death in the family.

6 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I’m gonna put “CEO of Blockbuster Video” on my resume because who are they gonna call to confirm?

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Updated

Dec 27, 2025

Users Online

3,658

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡¨ has shared:

Appliances always know when you’re getting a tax refund.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡Ύ has shared:

Don’t go keto, go pirate. Rum, fish and beef jerky diet.

Someone from πŸ‡ΆπŸ‡¦ has viewed:

Men love when you ask them to explain something to you. It is considered a sign of deep respect in their culture.

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡Ώ has downloaded:

Just peed so much that a little laugh came out.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡ͺ has bookmarked:

Attempted to exercise this morning. Didn’t work out.

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡Ή has viewed:

Your coworkers are your friends; stop working and hang out.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡ͺ has viewed:

Nothing prepares you for the day you wake up and realize you have a favorite cardigan.

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡± has viewed:

I’m feeling very anxious. I think this 7th mug of coffee will take the edge off.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡Ή has bookmarked:

I always figure it out on my own, I just need to panic first.

Someone from πŸ‡°πŸ‡­ has shared:

Making friends as an adult is wild because there’s so much lore to catch up on. You’ll be 3 years in and still get random drops like, ‘Oh, by the way, I used to be married.’

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Live now on Instagram:

Hit my coworker with β€œyou’re a lucky man” after I saw a picture of his wife just to let him know that I want to sleep with her.

Going viral on X:

Please text me back. I’m about to start making stuff up in my head, and the stuff is all bad.

Making waves on Slack:

My nephew asks so many questions that Alexa just told him it’s okay to bathe with the toaster.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

If humanity is so smart, how come it took thousands of years after the wheel was invented for someone to put them on a suitcase?

Trending via WeChat:

I don’t jump to conclusions, I cannonball into them like a boss.

Spotted on Instagram:

If my memory gets any worse, I’ll be able to plan my own surprise party.

Making waves on YouTube:

β€œI have a favourite hole”, me, at the pool table.

Trending via Instagram:

Don’t ask me ‘how are you?’ unless you’re willing to sign an NDA.

Just landed via Messenger:

Hello 911? Yes, my wife is forcing me to walk over to meet the neighbors.

Making waves on Facebook:

Nobody defends billionaires better than dudes making $50,000 a year.

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