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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇲 has viewed:

I feel like I’m in jail when I’m around unfunny people for too long.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has downloaded:

If I let you into my life, I am either emotionally invested or you are a grilled cheese sandwich.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has viewed:

Ladies, don’t date hungry guys. They’re just trying to get into your pantries.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has downloaded:

When I say I’m Christmas shopping the “for myself” is silent.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has downloaded:

Employees should have to take their boss’s last name.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has downloaded:

If I were you, I would rather be me.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has shared:

A credit card is kind of like a gift card to every store.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has shared:

Mercury is no longer in retrograde, so never trust a cow because the sun can’t swim.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has viewed:

The cashier said, “Have a good day,” but she doesn’t mean it.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has viewed:

Being offline for so long gave me the time to appreciate what’s really important in life, so I’m back online.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2316 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,478

Funny Quotes Topics

15,183

Funny Quotes Images

12,478

Updated

42 minutes ago

Users Online

3,455

Social Media Log 💫

Reported on Snapchat:

Note to self: just because it’s in the map app’s directions, doesn’t mean the road is paved.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

What base is it when you’re flirting with a woman, and she asks, “Are you all right”?

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that’s amore. When you swim in the sea and an eel bites your knee, that’s a moray.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

Why did Star Wars Episodes 4, 5 & 6 come out before 1,2 & 3? Because in charge of directing, Yoda was.

Just landed via Reddit:

You seem really unhinged, we should grab coffee sometime.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Dear nurses, you don’t have to announce my weight, just write it down. That’s why I have my eyes closed when I’m on the scale.

Spotted on Facebook:

I have so much planned today that I was already tired thinking of it yesterday.

Seen just now on Threads:

“I don’t do politics.” Politics will do you, my brother and sister. Politics will do you like mad.

Going viral on Messenger:

I would be more patient if it didn’t take so long.

Trending via Discord:

When you turn 50, they change the lightbulb in your fridge to that memory eraser from Men in Black.

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221 Funny home quotes

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All funny home quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2316 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,478

Funny Quotes Topics

15,183

Funny Quotes Images

12,478

Updated

42 minutes ago

Users Online

3,443

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇼 has downloaded:

Your child learning to say mommy is when your life begins and ends.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has copied:

Student life is all about convincing your parents that you are studying, convincing your friends that you are not, and convincing yourself that you’ll study from tomorrow.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has viewed:

My first mistake was leaving the womb.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

Old enough to know better. Young enough to do it anyway.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has copied:

I need a button in Zoom meetings where it just freezes my screen and makes it look like I’m having network issues.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has copied:

Of course I have critical thinking skills, I’m thinking critically of you right now.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has copied:

I don’t like being asked “are you at home?” Please expand further so I can know whether I’m at home or not.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has bookmarked:

Marriage is between two people: one person who is on the verge of sleep and one person who is asking if the front door is locked.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has copied:

My favorite part of The Godfather is when the guy wakes up and screams because the Mafia has stolen the bottom half of the horse he keeps in his bed.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has downloaded:

When I hear the word “horror”, the first thing I think of is bills, not Halloween.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

Theo Von’s entire life is like a raccoon that visits New York City.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Perhaps the most universal American experience is your mom being like, “Wasn’t he such a good dentist? He’s in prison now.”

Seen just now on Facebook:

Me gasping and flipping off the vultures as they circle above the running track.

Seen just now on TikTok:

An escape room, but it’s just your thoughts. Good luck.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

That awkward moment when you try something on in a shop but you don’t know if you can get it off again.

Just landed via Instagram:

Elevator rides in real life: 30 seconds long. Elevator rides in movies: Two minutes long.

Just shared via Reddit:

If you can’t handle me while I’m broke, then you don’t deserve me when I have $600.

Trending via Snapchat:

All my life choices led me to this post right here, and if that’s not an indictment of free will, I don’t know what is.

Reported on Facebook:

Adulting is when you realize that all you need is a home, stable income and a peaceful partner.

Just shared via Threads:

Sorry, the deadline for complaints was yesterday.

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