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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡¬ has shared:

Boys are disgusting. Can’t believe I like these things.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡· has bookmarked:

I bet the kids in Mrs. Doubtfire were surprised when found out their nanny was famous actor Robin Williams the whole time.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡· has copied:

Spongebob wouldn’t even mess with some of y’all. But he’d hang out with me because my heart is pure, and I like to laugh a lot.

Someone from πŸ‡©πŸ‡― has bookmarked:

You can be having the nicest day and then you have to print something and you know your day is about to fall apart real fast.

Someone from πŸ‡±πŸ‡» has downloaded:

If you stand too close to me in the check out line, you may as well pay for my stuff while you’re breathing down my neck.

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡§ has shared:

Once you turn 25 years and above, there is no need to set an alarm. Your problems will wake you up by force.

Someone from πŸ‡»πŸ‡Ί has copied:

Why can’t men admit when they doze off? What’s wrong with them?

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡° has downloaded:

The main function of the little toe on your foot is to make sure that all the objects and furniture in the house are in the correct place.

Someone from πŸ‡°πŸ‡² has viewed:

Being social sucks all my energy.

Someone from πŸ‡΅πŸ‡Ή has copied:

I don’t need to touch grass, I need to touch one million dollars cash.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

2333 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,495

Funny Quotes Topics

15,196

Funny Quotes Images

12,495

Updated

53 minutes ago

Users Online

3,440

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

No more relationships for me; the last one was an embarrassment to my gangsta.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

There’s nothing like sitting by an open fire and watching the evidence burn.

Going viral on Snapchat:

The 10 minutes I spend on my mobile before I go to sleep are the best 3 hours of my day.

Going viral on Snapchat:

I love it when strangers smile at me and I smile back, and we have that nice stranger smiling moment.

Spotted on Telegram:

Making a grown man kiss his camera on Facetime.

Just shared via Reddit:

If you’re gonna spend so much time in my head, would it kill you to tidy up a bit?

Just landed via Snapchat:

I would like to see the USA go metric before I die, just so I can enjoy the outrage that would follow.

Reported on Facebook:

Rabbits jump and they live for 8 years. Dogs run and they live for 15 years. Turtles do nothing and live for 150 years. Lesson learned.

Just landed via Reddit:

Has someone told the whales that they can’t sing?

Trending via Telegram:

Show me another rule so I can break that one too.

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Welcome to Wordgag! πŸ˜‰βœŒοΈ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. πŸ˜‚πŸ’₯

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

2333 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,495

Funny Quotes Topics

15,196

Funny Quotes Images

12,495

Updated

53 minutes ago

Users Online

3,449

Funny Quotes of the Month πŸš€

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡³πŸ‡΄ has bookmarked:

People should be allowed to leave work early if they want to go see a movie.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡© has viewed:

Are you a software update, because not now!

Someone from πŸ‡»πŸ‡Ί has bookmarked:

Too many toilets have automatically flushed underneath me for me not to have reservations about self-driving cars.

Someone from πŸ‡±πŸ‡° has viewed:

People be like β€œI love your energy” – then drain it.

Someone from πŸ‡­πŸ‡Ί has copied:

My self-care routine is mostly just going to Mexican restaurants.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡³ has shared:

I’ve reached the age where my train of thought often leaves the station without me.

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡Ώ has viewed:

If the earth was flat, many people would have already jumped off it.

Someone from πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡¦ has copied:

The only reason to engage with a neighbor is if either of you is on fire.

Someone from πŸ‡·πŸ‡Ί has bookmarked:

I wish I loved exercise as much as I love napping 3 times a day and eating 5 times the suggested serving size.

Someone from πŸ‡±πŸ‡Ύ has bookmarked:

I’m not flirting with you. I’m just funny and you think you like me.

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Just landed via LinkedIn:

I get easily confused in the morning. Also in the afternoon and evening.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

The state of my house can best be described as “there seems to have been a struggle”.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

For financial reasons, I will be passing away.

Just shared via Telegram:

Just once, I want a username and password prompt to say: “Close Enough.”

Broadcasted on Messenger:

Once I get my UFO, don’t be asking me for rides.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

I don’t get how alcohol turns y’all evil. I just start giggling and get slutty.

Making waves on Twitch:

When exactly does wisdom kick in? I feel like I’m just getting older.

Live now on LinkedIn:

I’m cosplaying as a functional adult again.

Just landed via Pinterest:

If someone else makes you a sandwich, it’s always better than if you do it yourself. It’s the same with sex.

Trending via Messenger:

“Tom Cruise does his own stunts!” Okay cool, but so do I.

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