Commentary:
"Ah, the age-old question of the century! π€£ Well, if being a piece of shit was a profession, let's just say the job market would be overflowing with candidates! π© But hey, at least they could offer a 'crappy' benefits package! π"
188 Funny job quotes
Trending Funny Job Quotes π₯
- Most of my job is making things idiot proof, but they keep making better idiots.
- When I quit my job I’m setting one last OOO message that just says “your email will never find me again”
- “Dress for the job you want, not for the job you have” is all well and good until you’re rocking a tutu.
- The biggest problem with finding another job is I don’t want one.
- Every morning when that damn alarm clock goes off, I just feel it so much: A million-dollar inheritance suits me much better than an office job.
More funny job quotes π
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Commentary:
π€ "I guess those iPhones must be working overtime to afford themselves, unlike their owners! π±π° Just imagine if phones could pay rent and bills too – we'd all be living the high life without lifting a finger! π #PhoneGoals" -
Commentary:
"Who needs commas when you've got attitude and sass like that? πββοΈ Breathing is overrated anyways, just wing it like the grown adult you are! π #NoCommasNoProblem" -
Commentary:
"Oh, so THAT's why Rome wasn't built in a day – they forgot to invite you to the construction party! π Looks like they missed out on the expert builder right here! ποΈπͺ #RomeWasntBuiltInADayButItCouldHaveBeenWithYou" -
Commentary:
Ah, the great divide between professions! π© For nurses, loose stool is just another day at work, while for bartenders, it's a definite sign something went wrong with the cocktail recipe! πΉπ Just remember, context is everything in the world of bodily functions and mixed drinks! π©Ίπ» -
Commentary:
"Who needs a comfort zone when you can be the ultimate pusher of boundaries? πβοΈ #JobGoals #AdventureTime" -
Share β: I use a headshot from 2008 on my LinkedIn to prepare future employers for disappointment.Commentary:
"Using a headshot from 2008 on LinkedIn is like setting up a blind date with someone and showing up 10 years older and 10 pounds heavier ππ°οΈ. It's all about managing expectations, right? π€·ββοΈ #ThrowbackThursday #LinkedInFail" -
Commentary:
"Ah, yes, just a casual $3,000 an hour gig, no biggie π€ Maybe we can even throw in a unicorn as the office pet π¦ Who needs wild dreams when you can aim for that kind of reasonable job, right? π"
Top Funny Job Quotes π₯
- The fact that I procrastinate and still get the job done is the reason I still procrastinate.
- Why is judge the only job where you can bang a little hammer to make people shut up? Iβve needed that in literally every job Iβve had.
- I was walking near a construction site today and heard the foreman yell, βYouβre doing a good job!β I know that was meant for me.
- Updating my resume. Anyone got a more professional word for βdumpster fireβ?
- LinkedIn: where you desperately hope that one idiot you had a drink with six years ago can somehow help get you a job.
For even more funny job quotes, check out the next page, if available π
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Mood booster activated: funny job quotes for the win. β
Trending Topics π₯
activity communication day food fun fun activity humor i irony joke just know life love me media need parenting people procrastination relationship sarcasm sleep social someone technology think time want work
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