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21 hours ago
Share →: What kind of psychopath wants to be the life of the party?

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When you're the life of the party but just want to be the snack table's bodyguard instead! 🥳🕵️‍♂️🍕

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Someone from 🇨🇱 has bookmarked:

I finally have glasses, which is great because I needed one more thing to frantically search for every morning.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has copied:

Folks, please have more respect for people with glasses. Because they pay money to see you.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has downloaded:

Even in my early 20’s, I was diagnosed with late stage 40’s.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has shared:

No, I wasn’t dancing. I got harassed by a bumble bee.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has bookmarked:

I asked my doctor if I’m healthy enough for sex and he told me I’m not even sexy enough for health.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has downloaded:

God, on inventing the tiger: “Okay, so this is going to be some kind of cat that likes to eat Frosted Flakes.”

Someone from 🇵🇼 has downloaded:

Coffee doesn’t even make me feel energized, I just drink it for the love of the game.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has viewed:

The great thing about having a mouse in your house is that I’m sure it’s just the one mouse, probably.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has downloaded:

If you’re feeling a little uneasy about the state of global geopolitics, remember to spend as much time on your phone as possible. The more information you ingest as you scroll, the calmer you will become.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has shared:

The worst part of all-you-can-eat buffets are all the witnesses.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on YouTube:

People who wear jeans for fun around their house have bodies buried in their backyard.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

There should be a variant of fencing with two guys trying to kiss one another.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

I’m not actively avoiding you. I don’t actively do anything.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

The older I get, the less surprised I’d be if a random body part just fell off one day.

Just shared via TikTok:

Why can’t periods just last for an hour? Like, you made your point, I’m not pregnant, you can leave now.

Going viral on WeChat:

I don’t know what i’m going to be for Halloween, so I’m probably just going to put in a tampon and go as a sexy kite.

Shared recently on Reddit:

I love how one day my body just decided “You know what you really need is some ear hair.”

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Marriage! Because your shitty day doesn’t have to end at work.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Gay? We don’t use that word anymore. Person of rainbow.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

God: “Free will was a bad idea. I should have charged for it.”

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Funny life of the party quotes

New funny life of the party quotes 👇

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Trending Funny Quotes 📈

You know you’re getting old when you and the grocery store have the same playlist.

Every man’s biggest fear is trying a new barber.

9-5 is really 10-2 if you’re working remote.

The cost of living has gotten so high, I’m thinking about having a nap for dinner.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

If you think about it, Santa really has the best job, he works one day a year and spends the rest of his time judging people.

My funeral better have a bloody merch table.

The problem is that you are in the dating pool when the other fish are in the ocean.

I need to know the brand of toothbrush my neighbor has. I hear it buzzing sometimes an hour at a time and she’s clearly enjoying it.

You should never donate to people that collect money for marathons. They just take your money and run.

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Perhaps the most universal American experience is your mom being like, “Wasn’t he such a good dentist? He’s in prison now.”

I’m officially at the age where going out on the weekend just means I’m running errands.

Sex so good, my left hand is making my right hand a sandwich.

I’m not here to offend anyone; I’m here to offend everyone.

I’m probably like this because I drank water from the hose.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Holding it together with duct tape and sarcasm.

I see WWIII is about to kick off again. I’d best cancel the milk and get the cat in.

Friendly reminder that double negatives are a big no-no.

Apparently, when you treat people like they treat you, they get upset.

I told the trees what you did. Be wary when you enter the forest next.

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