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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇾 has copied:

I can actually be quite charming if you would let me out of the guillotine.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has downloaded:

Wife is temporary. Being the hot EX is forever.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has copied:

The older I get, the more I understand why deer run in front of cars.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has downloaded:

I want the job where I push scared skydivers out of planes.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has copied:

My car is making strange noises but it’s just me singing.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has viewed:

Apparently, the job interviewer doesn’t like it when your biggest weakness is beautiful Latinas.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has viewed:

If you’re going to text your boss that you’re an hour late, make sure you end with, “I’m bringing you a ham and cheese croissant.”

Someone from 🇦🇷 has shared:

Microplastics are a waste of time. I go straight to eating whole packaging.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has shared:

If you’re worried that you added too much cheese to the recipe, I am here to reassure you that you did not.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has bookmarked:

Maybe the reason Miss Piggy is still single is she has a fear of kermitment.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,615

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Telegram:

Can’t believe I spent so many years of my life asking teachers if I was allowed to use the bathroom, and sometimes be told no. What the hell?

Trending via Messenger:

Wait. We’re now turning plants into burgers? Haven’t cows been doing that like, forever.

Spotted on Reddit:

I like smoke and lightning, your honor, heavy metal thunder, racing with the wind. You know that feeling I am under.

Seen just now on Threads:

I don’t want your hoodie, I want your still-beating heart presented to me in a box.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Did I eat too much candy today? My stomach says yes, but my heart says no.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

In banana years, I am bread.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

People who like sweet potato fries can’t be taken seriously and deserve shame and ridicule.

Breaking via Snapchat:

I don’t have a yoga mat, but I have a Twister mat, and it’s the same thing.

Going viral on WeChat:

Welcome to your late 40s! From now on you will no longer be in “good health” but in “good health for your age”.

Making waves on Pinterest:

People should be able to call in healthy: “Look, I’m not coming into the office today. I feel really good and I don’t want to waste it on being at work.“

17 Funny marry quotes

Funny marry quotes bring a hilarious twist to the world of weddings and relationships 💍😂 Whether you’re tying the knot or just love a good laugh about love, these witty lines will have you smiling and nodding in agreement 🤣💑 From playful jabs to clever observations, get ready to lighten up the serious side of marriage with some much-needed humor! 🎉💕

New funny marry quotes 👇

For even more funny marry quotes, hit next 👇

All funny marry quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

39 shares on Reddit this month:

USPS tracking: Step 1: We don’t think it exists. Step 2: Delivered.

43 shares on X this month:

Having a bathroom switch outside a bathroom and a sibling is a bad combination.

11 shares on Reddit this month:

Why can’t periods just last for an hour? Like, you made your point, I’m not pregnant, you can leave now.

50 shares on Threads this month:

I would go out of my mind, but I can’t find the exit.

62 shares on Telegram this month:

Imagine you go bowling by yourself and you go sit down, but it’s your turn again.

63 shares on Discord this month:

I wish tree puns were more poplar.

82 shares on X this month:

I used to mix Mountain Dew with the cheapest vodka I could find, and I called it the Blood of Mannaroth because it’s green and turns you into an orc.

70 shares on Reddit this month:

I’m glad laughter is the best medicine because my insurance sucks.

45 shares on Twitch this month:

Tried to sleep by reading a boring book and now it’s suddenly the most interesting book.

65 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I’m not a dietitian, but if you eat pizza right at midnight your body doesn’t know if the calories go towards yesterday or today so they don’t count.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Thinking you’re too smart to be manipulated is exactly how you get manipulated.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Life is short, flirt with me!

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m going to be a printer today and just not work.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

An adult is a person who makes noise when they stand up.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

So many songs that tell you to throw your hands in the air like you just don’t care, so few about the hazards of ceiling fans.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Always remember you’re unique, just like everyone else.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

The worst person you know is studying psychology.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m at the age when riding around town, I say, “When did they build that?”

17 folks are currently checking 👀

You know you’re the father of teen boys when a shoe print on the ceiling no longer fazes you.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Someone asked me what my hobby was and I realized that my favorite hobby is doing absolutely nothing.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,697

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇪 has downloaded:

Imagine you blocked me, and I crawled out from under your couch to ask why.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

“This is a great weekend to clean out the garage,” according to my wife and other people who won’t be cleaning the garage.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has downloaded:

My ducks are not even remotely in a row. My ducks are in places no duck has ever gone before.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

Science has enough bodies, I’m donating mine to English lit just to spice things up a bit.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has downloaded:

I failed as a person; I’m a dinosaur now.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has shared:

I absolutely hate being woken from a nap. There were other treadmills in the gym that dude could have used.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has shared:

The worst is when it’s too late to take a nap but too early to go to bed.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has shared:

You can tell Monopoly is an old game because there’s a luxury tax, and rich people can go to jail.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has bookmarked:

If you ever get locked out of your house, talk calmly to the lock. We all know that communication is the key.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has shared:

If by ‘leg day’ you mean a day that we put your legs on my shoulders, then yes, I love leg day.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on LinkedIn:

In the event of a water landing, place the life jacket over your head and swipe your credit card to inflate.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

I get all the cardio I need by running out of patience.

Making waves on WeChat:

Hot girls have a private Instagram account with 20 followers.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Forget hot girl summer, it’s rot girl summer (laying in bed, reading books, laying under layers of soft blankets).

Seen just now on Twitch:

Source? Divine intuition, gut instinct, and cryptic symbolism from my dreams.

Shared recently on WeChat:

My 3 weeks without sweets were over after 12 hours. Proof that time runs faster with increasing age.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Please hesitate to reach out.

Trending via Instagram:

My boss wants me to train some other employees so it’s pretty obvious he has no idea I am completely incompetent.

Making waves on Facebook:

Job hunting has legitimately been the most demoralizing experience of my life. Nothing else will make you realize how little you can actually do.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Not trying to brag but this cop says my rear end is smoking.

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