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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇹 has viewed:

Start every phone call with “My battery is at 5%” so you can hang up whenever you want.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has bookmarked:

The best part about being single is sleeping around. You can sleep all over that bed of yours – left, right, middle.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has viewed:

Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has shared:

Having a toddler is wild. I’m getting breaking news about Peppa Pig.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has copied:

When the Olympics finally introduces the event “Dropping your phone and very nearly catching it but not quite” then you’ll all see me shine.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

Returned my 3D printer, but not before making a 3D printer with it.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has shared:

Filling animals with helium is kinda weird, but whatever floats your goat.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has shared:

I have entirely too many new bruises for someone who isn’t getting laid.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has viewed:

Your Starbucks order leads me to believe that you’re very difficult to deal with.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has bookmarked:

Normalize ending a hang-out abruptly by saying ‘I wanna go home now’ and then going home.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

904 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,066

Funny Quotes Topics

14,007

Funny Quotes Images

11,066

Updated

7 minutes ago

Users Online

3,438

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Pinterest:

I appreciate the sun for always moving in the sky in a predictable way but I also respect the moon for just kind of doing whatever.

Going viral on Slack:

Girls will be like, “This is my comfort song,” and it’s the howling of a wolf inside a dark forest.

Trending via Facebook:

Because it is Friday, I will allow one beautiful woman to invite me for drinks.

Breaking via WeChat:

Who you are when you’re stuck behind a slow driver is the real you.

Spotted on Telegram:

Airports should have tattoo parlors for those of us with long layovers and poor impulse control.

Trending via LinkedIn:

I suck at flirting, I end up arguing with them instead.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

The pizza delivery guys say “see you tomorrow” to everyone, right?

Breaking via Slack:

I’m not feeling very worky today.

Spotted on TikTok:

If insomnia were a sport, I’d have endorsement deals.

Shared recently on Discord:

First they give you butterflies, then mental health problems.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology think time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

904 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,066

Funny Quotes Topics

14,007

Funny Quotes Images

11,066

Updated

7 minutes ago

Users Online

3,436

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇬 has shared:

Can’t argue with a guy that has curly hair. Whatever you say, gorgeous.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has downloaded:

I am awake. Please respect my privacy during this difficult time.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has shared:

Ever since I was a little kid I always knew I wanted to struggle to survive.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has downloaded:

I hope this is the year my teen learns how to turn off a light when she leaves a room.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has downloaded:

You can’t keep running away from your problems, you’re getting older and your kids are getting faster.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has shared:

I really wish people would stop thinking they need to speak to me in the mornings.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has shared:

Rorschach tests are like so easy. Everything’s either a demon or a butterfly and it’s up to you to decide.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has copied:

I respect the moon’s unwillingness to be photographed on a phone.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has bookmarked:

Hold on, I just need to take off my glasses and put my face in my hands about it first.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has shared:

I am “any text received after 9pm will be answered at 6am” years old.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on LinkedIn:

The older I get, the more I start to understand the appeal of birdwatching as a hobby. I do find myself watching these little troublemakers quite often.

Breaking via WeChat:

Of course, a wife can complain to her mother-in-law. She has every right to complain to the manufacturer.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

The leading cause for injury in old men is them thinking they are still young men.

Just landed via Slack:

My whole life just flashed before my eyes and there was way too much pizza.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

If we keep saving daylight, daylight will never learn to save itself.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

I suspect that you don’t lose weight during sport because of the exercise, but because you can’t eat anything during this time.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Is there a bravery award I can nominate my son for as he managed to eat his toast despite the fact I cut it wrong.

Reported on LinkedIn:

Why is sugar SO addictive, and broccoli is just like, “I’ll be here when you need me”

Shared recently on Twitch:

I’ve got to start taking better care of myself. Tomorrow I’ll walk to the liquor store.

Shared recently on TikTok:

I really wish people would stop thinking they need to speak to me in the mornings.

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