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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇴 has shared:

As an academic, I sometimes dream about writing fiction instead, and then I remember grant proposals.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has copied:

Without freedom of speech we wouldn’t know who the idiots are.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has copied:

Roses are red. Bumble bees buzz. This rhyme doesn’t rhyme. No, wait, yes it does.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has bookmarked:

How do people post 25 times a day? The only thing I can do 25 times a day is pee.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has downloaded:

When I tell a joke that doesn’t land, I follow up with a worse one to make my audience realize how good they had it with the first joke.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has downloaded:

No, babe, your 10-minute incremental alarms starting a full hour before you actually get up only make me love you more.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has downloaded:

Cops wake up Christmas morning excited as hell to ignore their family and go sit on the highway with a radar gun for 10 hours.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has viewed:

At my funeral, take the bouquet off my casket and throw it in the crowd to see who next.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has viewed:

If you see me sad, just hug me and put some money in my pocket.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has shared:

Went outside. Touched grass. Got bit by bugs. Zero stars.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,417

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Discord:

Everyone is either engaged, at a run club, doing their master’s, or in Japan.

Shared recently on X:

It’s like 10,000 Tupperwares when all you need is a lid.

Spotted on YouTube:

A haunted house but in every room someone is asking you to say a little something about yourself.

Just landed via Slack:

If Shakespeare were being born today, he’d be “Shaxxespyr.”

Making waves on Telegram:

“Dress for the job you want, not for the job you have” is all well and good until you’re rocking a tutu.

Just shared via Threads:

Me, one week before the new year: Not to brag, but I have enough money to live comfortably for the rest of the year.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Potatoes make French fries, chips and vodka. It’s like the other vegetables aren’t even trying.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

Welcome to Twitter, where people never let their lack of knowledge get in the way of expressing a strong opinion.

Going bananas on Facebook:

No need for a Halloween costume this year because there’s nothing scarier than being in your mid-20s and not knowing who you are or what you want to do anymore.

Breaking via Instagram:

When I become president, any public holiday that falls on a Thursday automatically extends to Friday.

165 Funny men quotes

Funny men quotes celebrate the quirks, habits, and hilariously predictable moments that come with being a guy! 😂👨 Whether it’s their unique approach to multitasking (or lack thereof), their mysterious love for remote controls, or their talent for turning anything into a competition, these quotes remind us that men are a constant source of comedy — intentional or not! 😆🍕🛠️

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All funny men quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
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Social Media Stars ⭐

89 shares on Threads this month:

What a bleak life it must be if you’ve never had a drink shoot through your nose when you laugh.

66 shares on Reddit this month:

Sorry I’m late. My catapult malfunctioned.

10 shares on WeChat this month:

Work for a living? In this economy?

49 shares on Messenger this month:

I get it, laundry, no one is doing me either.

24 shares on Instagram this month:

There is no physical evidence to say that today is Tuesday, we all just have to trust that someone kept count since the first one ever.

43 shares on WeChat this month:

These aliens are taking forever.

74 shares on X this month:

My hobbies include adding things to my cart, and never buying them.

88 shares on Threads this month:

I like to just appear out of nowhere and say, “this looks like a job for a binder clip.”

54 shares on Reddit this month:

I hope this 17th text in a row with no response finds you well.

95 shares on Reddit this month:

First date idea: Couples Colonoscopies.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Attention to detail is so sexy, study me, baby.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Had a shower and put on clean pajamas. It was a productive day.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t do anything with my life except romanticize and decay with indecision.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I always sit in the middle stall so I have a bathroom buddy.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

My brain cells, skin cells and hair cells continue to die, but my fat cells seem to have an eternal life.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Ordered a coffee, and the barista said, “Anything else?” and I almost said, “Stability.”

6 folks are currently checking 👀

We need a better word for horny that sounds elegant and gorgeous.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

What did parents do before smart phones, hold their babies with two hands or something?

10 folks are currently checking 👀

The only ‘survival horror’ game I play is called ‘getting up every day and leaving the house.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

The date abruptly ended over a disagreement on how to pronounce Gnocchi.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,400

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇪 has bookmarked:

I’m a multi-tasking procrastinator. I can put off multiple things at once.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has copied:

One day you’re young and carefree and the next, you’re preheating the bathroom before you go in for a shower.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has copied:

My teen being nice to me is getting really expensive.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has shared:

Hey dude, I recently became omniscient, and well, you fell off in every universe.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has downloaded:

Once this pandemic ends, I’m legit quitting video games and getting a girlfriend for real.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has shared:

I always knew I’d get old. How fast it happened was a bit of a surprise though.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has copied:

I think during winter we should also get to work less hours in a day, just like the sun.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has shared:

Love that every time I finish a snack I have to wave my hands around to prove to my dog it’s all gone, like I’m cashing him out at a casino or something.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

If you keep your AC any higher than 75, please don’t invite me to your terrarium, you lizard.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has downloaded:

The empty side of your bed is for books and chocolate, not for liars who snore.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Facebook:

Actually, no one sees you at your worst like your coworkers do.

Trending via X:

Everyone is always talking about raising money for dogs without homes, but what about the ones who don’t have cars?

Trending via Discord:

Remember when we used to jump out of the swings? Those knees were fresh, fresh out the box.

Making waves on Threads:

Dentist appointments are so weird. “Hi, nice to meet you, could you root around in my mouth for a bit?”

Spreading quickly via Threads:

It’s so much easier to suggest solutions when you don’t know too much about the problem.

Spotted on Reddit:

Whoever said money can’t buy happiness simply didn’t know where to go shopping.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

I’ve shouted so much sporting advice from my sofa already this summer. It’s very tiring but hopefully it’s helping.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

The best time to visit Japan is when you have money!

Trending via Reddit:

The only narcissist I allow in my life is my cat.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Please no more relationships that are supposed to be a lesson. I’m already quite the scholar.

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