24 Funny million quotes

• A girl hating you is a million times better than her calling you a ‘nice guy’.

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  2 weeks ago

  better, calling, dating, girl, guy, hate, humor, insult, million, nice, nice guy, relationship, times

• And for my next trick, I’m going to miss you in a million unspoken ways.

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  1 month ago

  emotional, expression, farewell, feeling, going, humor, love, million, miss, missing, next, trick, unspoken, unspoken feeling, ways

• If Keith Richards survived the ’70s, the ’80s, and 1.2 million Marlboros, I can probably survive anything.

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  1 month ago

  12, 1970s, 1980s, 80s, anything, humor, i, keith, Keith Richards, Marlboro, Marlboros, million, resilience, richards, smoking, survival, survive

• My save-for-later cart on Amazon is up to about $1.5 million dollars.

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  1 month ago

  Amazon, cart, dollars, humor, humor quote, million, money, online, online shopping, procrastination, savings, shopping, spending

• Me, having zero balance in my account, viewing houses worth 10 million, and being like, “No, I don’t like the kitchen.”

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  1 month ago

  account, aspiration, balance, being, difficulty, envy, expectations, financial, financial difficulty, financial envy, having, house, house shopping, houses, humor, humor about money, i, kitchen, lifestyle, luxury, me, million, money, priorities, property, sarcasm, shopping, unrealistic, unrealistic expectations, worth, zero

• I am staying up till a million o’clock tonight.

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  1 month ago

  am, exaggeration, humor, i, joke, late, late night, million, night, procrastination, staying, staying up, time, tonight

• I think something’s missing in my life… Like… 2-3 million dollars.

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  2 months ago

  aspiration, dollars, dream, humor, joke, life, million, missing, money, wealth

• Sometimes I just want someone to hug me and say “I know it’s hard, but you’ll be okay. Here’s a coffee and a million dollars.”

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  2 months ago

  coffee, comfort, dollars, encouragement, hard, hard times, hug, humor, just, million, million dollars, support, thinking, times, want, wishful, wishful thinking

• I think if you ask Kanye for a million at the right time, he’ll give it to you.

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  2 months ago

  ask, give, hell, humor, i, Kanye, million, money, right, think, time, timing

• My biggest sexual fantasy is someone throwing a million dollars on my naked body and then leaving me alone.

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  2 months ago

  alone, body, desire, dollars, fantasy, humor, leaving, me, million, money, naked, sexual, someone, throwing, wealth

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