26 Funny million quotes

• It’s messed up that there are a million songs about love, but zero about hopping on a quick call with key stakeholders.

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  1 week ago

  call, communication, humor, irony, key, life, love, million, quick, song, songs, stakeholder, work, work life, zero

• I had a million opportunities to waste money this year, and I took them all. In fact, even when there wasn’t an opportunity, I created one.

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  1 week ago

  budgeting, even, fact, finance, humor, i, joke, million, money, opportunity, personal, personal finance, self-deprecating, spending, waste, year

• A girl hating you is a million times better than her calling you a ‘nice guy’.

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  1 week ago

  better, calling, dating, girl, guy, hate, humor, insult, million, nice, nice guy, relationship, times

• And for my next trick, I’m going to miss you in a million unspoken ways.

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  2 weeks ago

  emotional, expression, farewell, feeling, going, humor, love, million, miss, missing, next, trick, unspoken, unspoken feeling, ways

• If Keith Richards survived the ’70s, the ’80s, and 1.2 million Marlboros, I can probably survive anything.

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  2 weeks ago

  12, 1970s, 1980s, 80s, anything, humor, i, keith, Keith Richards, Marlboro, Marlboros, million, resilience, richards, smoking, survival, survive

• My save-for-later cart on Amazon is up to about $1.5 million dollars.

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  2 weeks ago

  Amazon, cart, dollars, humor, humor quote, million, money, online, online shopping, procrastination, savings, shopping, spending

• Me, having zero balance in my account, viewing houses worth 10 million, and being like, “No, I don’t like the kitchen.”

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  2 weeks ago

  account, aspiration, balance, being, difficulty, envy, expectations, financial, financial difficulty, financial envy, having, house, house shopping, houses, humor, humor about money, i, kitchen, lifestyle, luxury, me, million, money, priorities, property, sarcasm, shopping, unrealistic, unrealistic expectations, worth, zero

• I am staying up till a million o’clock tonight.

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  2 weeks ago

  am, exaggeration, humor, i, joke, late, late night, million, night, procrastination, staying, staying up, time, tonight

• I think something’s missing in my life… Like… 2-3 million dollars.

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  2 weeks ago

  aspiration, dollars, dream, humor, joke, life, million, missing, money, wealth

• Sometimes I just want someone to hug me and say “I know it’s hard, but you’ll be okay. Here’s a coffee and a million dollars.”

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  2 weeks ago

  coffee, comfort, dollars, encouragement, hard, hard times, hug, humor, just, million, million dollars, support, thinking, times, want, wishful, wishful thinking

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