Funny quotes million

15 Funny million quotes

I think something’s missing in my life… Like… 2-3 million dollars.

1 month ago

Sometimes I just want someone to hug me and say “I know it’s hard, but you’ll be okay. Here’s a coffee and a million dollars.”

2 months ago

I think if you ask Kanye for a million at the right time, he’ll give it to you.

2 months ago

My biggest sexual fantasy is someone throwing a million dollars on my naked body and then leaving me alone.

3 months ago

I haven’t exaggerated in like a million years.

3 months ago

Many years ago, I stood up to 100-200 million others only to sit in meetings now.

3 months ago

I don’t know if I’m pregnant or what, but I’ve been craving 3 million dollars so bad.

3 months ago

The two most popular things to do on the internet are arguing about politics and looking at naked people. Million dollar website idea: combine both — naked people arguing about politics.

3 months ago

If the zombie apocalypse happens we’re double screwed because there are millions on record as having no brain.

3 months ago

“Girls just want to have fun!” No, I want one million dollars cash.

3 months ago

I don’t need to touch grass, I need to touch one million dollars cash.

3 months ago

If an alien is 60 million light years away and is watching us through a telescope, it will see dinosaurs.

3 months ago

When someone asks me why I’m in a wheelchair, I want to say something ridiculous like, “I’m not standing up until I’ve saved a million.”

3 months ago

Ten million people accused me of exaggerating today.

3 months ago

Only thing that can cure my depression is $500 million.

3 months ago