Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇪 has shared:

The most unrealistic part of cooking shows is when they have enough room in their fridge to fit an entire baking sheet.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has bookmarked:

After overthinking about it for 6 hours, I have decided that it’s actually not that big of a deal.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has bookmarked:

Never cry at the weekend. Cry at work, at least then you’ll get paid for it.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has bookmarked:

I stopped adding “Let me know if you have any more questions!” to my emails because don’t email me again.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

If someone asks why you’re so pale, simply reply, completely shocked, “You can see me?”

Someone from 🇨🇳 has downloaded:

Salt and pepper shakers add an air of mystique to any bathroom.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has viewed:

Apparently, I’m not even going through a lot; I just need money.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has bookmarked:

Grocery shopping before Christmas is a nightmare. My milk expired while I was waiting in line.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has downloaded:

Everytime I spend $20 I think this is fine because I won’t do it again. And then would you believe.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has shared:

When I look at the world, I realize why Noah only took animals with him.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Dec 30, 2025

3,594

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Telegram:

Off to my crying appointment (therapy).

Spotted on YouTube:

How many cups of coffee is OK to have every day? Is it eight? I’m pretty sure it’s eight.

Going viral on Messenger:

I want my house spotless, but kicking my kids out seems wrong.

Going viral on Discord:

Don’t worry, bro. She’s probably just working on a puzzle right now. She’ll get back to you.

Shared recently on Threads:

I miss phone booths. We used to train our immune system in those things.

Just shared via TikTok:

My retirement plan is 100% contingent on me finding a buried treasure at some point.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Behind every great tweet is a person rolling their eyes.

Seen just now on Threads:

Doing dishes is like fighting a hydra — wash one, and two more appear.

Going viral on WeChat:

“You’re always sleeping!” God forbid a girl wants to be unconscious.

Going viral on Slack:

“The only thing standing between you and your dreams is you!” Yeah, have you met me? That’s gonna be a problem.

Funny mute quotes

Funny mute quotes 🤐💬 are the perfect way to say a lot without saying a word! Whether you’re embracing the power of silence or just love clever, quiet humor, these gems will have you chuckling silently. Ready to laugh out loud without making a sound? Let’s dive into the witty world where silence truly speaks volumes! 😂🤫✨

New funny mute quotes 👇

I wish people had mute buttons in real life.

0

2 months ago

annoyance, button, buttons, communication, etiquette, everyday, everyday life, humor, i, life, mute, mute button, people, real, sarcasm, social, social etiquette, wish
Alexa, mute my children.

0

2 months ago

Alexa, child, children, humor, mute, parenting, silence, technology
You should be able to mute someone in real life. Annoying coworker? Silence them for 24 hours by booping them on the nose!

0

2 months ago

able, annoying, annoying coworker, booping, coworker, hours, humor, life, mute, nose, real, real life, should, silence, someone, workplace
Sorry, I booped your nose, but I was really hoping it was a mute button.

0

5 months ago

apology, boop, button, communication, hoping, humor, i, joke, mute, mute button, nose, sorry, sound

All funny mute quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

72 shares on Instagram this month:

“I’m great at saving money, as long as I don’t go anywhere, see anyone, or open my eyes.”

33 shares on Threads this month:

I’m addicted to placebos.

28 shares on WeChat this month:

Every house has a smell that only the people living in it don’t smell.

97 shares on LinkedIn this month:

What doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger, but also a little grumpy.

15 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Humans can accomplish so much, unless it’s parking at a shopping center during the holidays.

72 shares on WhatsApp this month:

The Frankfurt School?? What are you majoring in, hot dog?

95 shares on Pinterest this month:

Cause of death: Trying to draw eyebrows on the neighbor’s cat.

14 shares on Messenger this month:

Red Bull doesn’t give me wings, it gives me gas.

65 shares on Reddit this month:

The Angry Birds assaulted me and made me rip their disgusting bong.

21 shares on YouTube this month:

Desperately searching the dating app settings for an option to turn down the difficulty level.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Watching someone else control the computer and doing it differently than you would, is one of life’s greatest challenges.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

From now on, every time I think I’m hating too much, I will think of Kendrick and realize I’m not hating to my full potential.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I love when people start getting filler, and instead of looking younger, it’s just like okay, your face is getting really, really big in all directions.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Googling “effect vs affect” in an incognito window.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I told a joke during a Zoom meeting today. Nobody laughed. It turns out I’m not even remotely funny.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I have a mental illness that makes me think that people will change their minds if I present the correct arguments with the appropriate facts and data.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I love being a pretty woman because it widens the threshold for cringe-worthy things I can say.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

The retirement age needs to be lowered to 40, I’ve had enough.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Forget Botox. If you really want to look younger, get braces.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

When I learned the word “literally,” that was the beginning of the end.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,967

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇫 has shared:

Nice tweets, bro. What medications are you on?

Someone from 🇳🇪 has viewed:

Airports are so funny. Like, “Oh, you’re flying across the country? Would you like to hang out in a mall first?”

Someone from 🇨🇻 has copied:

Female rage is your handbag continuously slipping off your shoulder.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has copied:

Thanks to AI, some of us went from being told by our parents not to trust the internet to having to tell our parents not to trust the internet.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has copied:

Best friends should be able to apply to jobs together and get hired as a set.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has bookmarked:

Tupperware is filing for bankruptcy. They would have kept a lid on the news but they couldn’t find one.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has viewed:

Looking forward to another year of crushing reality and unfulfilled dreams.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has downloaded:

Make your salad taste better by putting it between bread, meat, cheese, and Big Mac sauce.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has bookmarked:

Sometimes I want to go back in time and punch myself in the face.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has downloaded:

Being a woman is trying to guess what the hell is going on with your body three times a week.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on LinkedIn:

I need you to put the fun in refund!

Just landed via Threads:

If you start liking someone, just block them. Follow me for more relationship advice.

Spotted on Telegram:

I need to know the brand of toothbrush my neighbor has. I hear it buzzing sometimes an hour at a time and she’s clearly enjoying it.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Sometimes I see how many vacations people take and I wonder if I’m bad with money or if they are.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Folks, please have more respect for people with glasses. Because they pay money to see you.

Spotted on Telegram:

“Ooh, you’ve caught the sun.” Translation: You look like you’ve been swimming in a volcano.

Just shared via Twitch:

Sorry I slowed down but I had to calculate if the bridge could hold the weight of my car with all the stuffed animals my kids insisted on bringing on vacation.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

My husband said we need to start exercising and get into shape, so I’m going to wake up early tomorrow and start looking for a new husband.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

Have kids so you can say things you never thought you would like “please don’t vacuum your sister”

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

Isn’t your email address beautifulgirl@mydreams.com?

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