Wordgag ツ

6 months ago
Share →: How old were you when you realized others couldn’t see the matrix?

Commentary:
🧐 Ah, the moment of realization that not everyone sees the world through the lens of binary code and green cascading characters – a Matrix-grade plot twist in real life! 🕶️💻 Who knew dodging bullets and defying gravity was part of the everyday grind for some of us? 😉 Welcome to the reality where red pills are usually just cold and flu medication! 🌐🚫 #MatrixRealizations
6 months ago
Share →: I’m “I can’t sit like that for too long” years old.

Commentary:
Ah, that age when sitting cross-legged becomes a temporary feat of flexibility! 🧘‍♂️💫 Who knew getting older would come with such strict sitting requirements? Sit for too long in one position and suddenly all the pains and creaks start to make an appearance! 😂 #AchingJoints #AgeIsJustANumber
6 months ago
Share →: I bought a 12 year old whiskey. His parents are furious.

Commentary:
Looks like that whiskey was a real troublemaker! 😄🥃 Maybe it's too young to be causing a stir, but hey, age is just a number in the world of spirits! 😉 #WhiskeyShenanigans
6 months ago
Share →: White, black, yellow, brown, Democrat, Republican, man, woman, straight, gay, transgender, Jew, Christian, Muslim, young and old — you will all taste the same to the zombies.

Commentary:
"Looks like zombies are the ultimate equalizers! 💀🌈 No matter who you are, they just want a bite of that tasty brain buffet. So, remember to stay on alert – zombies don't discriminate! #BrainsForAll"
6 months ago
Share →: When we’re old, the children will use Covid to explain our brain damaged opinions much like we do to Boomers with lead. It is fate.

Commentary:
Ah, the circle of generational blame continues! 🔄 Let's blame Covid for all our questionable decisions in the future, just like we blame lead for the Boomers' quirky ways. It seems fate has a sense of humor! 😆 #GenerationalBlameGame
6 months ago
Share →: Hello darkness, my old friend. Why are you here? It’s 6:00 pm.

Commentary:
"Ah, darkness, always fashionably late to the party! 🕶️⌛ But hey, better late than never, right? Who knew evening attire was so punctual! 😄🌙 #FashionablyLate #NightOwl"
6 months ago
Share →: I ran out of toilet paper so I had to start using old newspapers. The Times are rough.

Commentary:
"Looks like someone's in a news-worthy predicament! 📰💩 Times may be tough, but at least you're catching up on the headlines while you… take care of business. 😆 Hang in there, things will smooth out eventually!"
6 months ago
Share →: I get sad when I see how old people my age are.

Commentary:
"Age is just a number, but sometimes that number hits harder than a reality check 🧓🏽😅 Hang in there, old soul! Maybe we're just aging like fine wine 🍷👵🏼 #YoungAtHeart"
6 months ago
Share →: Getting old would be so fun if you didn’t wake up each morning with neck pain that suggests you slept hanging upside down like a bat.

Commentary:
"Ah, the joys of aging – waking up feeling like you've been practicing your bat pose all night 🦇😂 Who knew getting older would come with free neck pain as a bonus gift! Just part of the charming package deal, folks! 🎁 #AgingGracefully"
6 months ago
Share →: Hundreds, nay, thousands of movies about falling in love but only one movie about a beach that makes you old.

Commentary:
Ah, the eternal battle between romance and premature aging! 🎥💔🍹 Just remember: love fades, but wrinkles are forever! 💏🏝️👵 #LifeLessonsFromTheBeach