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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇹 has bookmarked:

What we need is more companies making hot sauce. I need 900 more ways to taste a thing that tastes exactly like all the other ones.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has viewed:

Everyone’s a gangster until the grocery store switches their aisles around.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has downloaded:

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has copied:

You don’t scare me. You’re not those two minutes when I can’t find my wallet.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has shared:

Humanity doesn’t always make a compelling case for its continued existence.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has viewed:

Rap fell off when literacy stopped being a requirement.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has copied:

Here’s to another day of outward smiles and inward screams.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has viewed:

True luxury is sleeping until you wake up by yourself.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has bookmarked:

You’re an adult if you’re happy every time the mailbox is empty.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has copied:

He’s an everything bagel… I’m just a nothing burger…

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,248

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Snapchat:

A person’s character can be read quite reliably from the way he or she interacts with service personnel.

Seen just now on Discord:

I don’t text. I will contact you telepathically.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Never trust people who smile constantly. They’re either selling something or not very bright.

Trending via TikTok:

Retiring my wallet condom after two years of active duty. 87 tours with 0 combat deployments.

Trending via Threads:

Why can’t the house clean itself? It seems to get dirty by itself.

Just landed via Instagram:

Lord, they down here giving us bills every month after you already paid the price.

Just landed via Facebook:

Maybe in another life, I’m a spoiled nepo baby — jobless and doing nothing but shopping all day with my equally nepotised friends.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Sometimes I want to go back in time and punch myself in the face.

Spotted on X:

We should all go into advertising and fix what’s going on with commercials. They need our help.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Life on other planets be like: “I hope those lunatics don’t discover us!”

17 Funny opinions quotes

Funny opinions quotes bring a splash of humor 😄 and a twist of wit 🌀 to everyday thoughts! Whether you love clever comebacks or silly takes on life’s quirks, these gems will tickle your funny bone 😂 and spark a smile 😎. Perfect for sharing with friends or brightening up your feed, get ready to see opinions like you’ve never heard them before! 🎉✨

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Social Media Stars ⭐

95 shares on Messenger this month:

I’m afraid to go to therapy — what if they fix me and I lose my funny?

54 shares on Twitch this month:

Nothing prepared me for how much of my adult life would be spent hiding from people I know at the grocery store.

76 shares on Messenger this month:

Inventing the Grinch: “Santa needs a Wario!”

62 shares on Snapchat this month:

Brother: What are you bringing to Thanksgiving dinner? Me: Wine and unresolved issues. They pair nicely.

55 shares on Discord this month:

When people ask me what is more important, food or love, I don’t answer because I’m eating.

30 shares on Discord this month:

No email needs to tell me not to reply.

56 shares on WhatsApp this month:

It’s messed up that there are a million songs about love, but zero about hopping on a quick call with key stakeholders.

42 shares on X this month:

If I was an outlaw in the Wild West, my face would be on unwanted posters.

30 shares on LinkedIn this month:

On a first date, saying “agree to disagree” every time they share anything about themselves.

90 shares on WeChat this month:

Nice thing about dating a doctor is if you wanna stop seeing them, you can just eat an apple.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Exorcist came by. Says house isn’t possessed, just incredibly poorly built.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate it when I go to hug someone sexy and hit my head on the mirror.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

My body is in shock this morning from having to wake up early and wear hard pants.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I’d stalk me too, I get it.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I plan the silliest murders in my dreams because all I have to do to get away with it is wake up.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m really hoping money falls from the sky this week, or else I’m doomed.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Cashier: Did you find everything? Me: Did you hide something?

13 folks are currently checking 👀

My body can’t handle the stress of loving anyone romantically, ever.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

90% of parenting is just thinking about when you can lie down again.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

November moving quicker than two lesbians who met three days ago.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,320

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇬 has downloaded:

“I hate small talk!” Oh okay. Do you think all your grandparents are going to heaven?

Someone from 🇰🇬 has bookmarked:

For someone with a dry phone, I’m on it way too much.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has shared:

Checking a selfie only to find there’s a demon in the reflection behind you, and it looks significantly healthier than you.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has shared:

Hey bro, please stop using all the good skipping rocks at the river.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has downloaded:

Of course, my summer body is ready; it’s the same as my winter body but sweatier.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has copied:

This year has been the perfect blend between me losing my mind and having the time of my life.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has downloaded:

Less is more, unless it’s kindness, sleep, or toilet paper.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has downloaded:

We go together like coffee and cigarettes.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has downloaded:

My red flag is that I don’t make playlists on Spotify. I just add every song I’ve ever liked to the ‘Liked Songs’ playlist and shuffle that, like an iPod.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has shared:

Has anyone ever considered that Dr. Pepper could be a gynecologist?

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Telegram:

The phrase “Treat yourself” has ruined my bank account and waistline.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Every grocery store becomes an escape room if you see someone you know.

Going viral on Discord:

I do my best to kill everyone with kindness, but they don’t seem to be dying.

Live now on Discord:

Imagine working at Pornhub. At like the corporate office as a developer or whatever. White collar. That’s gotta be a weird job. Working there has gotta be bloody weird.

Going viral on Threads:

I’m sorry for the things I said when there were too many noises at the same time.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

I would like to unsubscribe from all responsibilities, please and thank you.

Seen just now on TikTok:

The best proof that fairy tales are fictional is the fact that the prince is always an intelligent and handsome single man.

Just landed via Slack:

Corporate life requires an ass-licking skill set I simply wasn’t born with.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

The amount I’m sighing these days could fuel a small wind farm.

Live now on Instagram:

Someone in their late 20s giving advice to someone in their early 20s is exactly like when a toddler is obsessed with a newborn.

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