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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

Grammar is the difference between knowing your shit and knowing you’re shit.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has downloaded:

Absolute worst time of year to have a secret family. Hands down.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has bookmarked:

The Frankfurt School?? What are you majoring in, hot dog?

Someone from 🇺🇸 has copied:

I accidentally hit a parked car, so I left them a note that said “next time it will be you”.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has copied:

Sometimes being on your phone all day is your destiny.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has bookmarked:

We get it, comma, you went to Oxford.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has copied:

I told my wife to embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has shared:

Can I come over and crawl around on you like a bug?

Someone from 🇨🇾 has viewed:

Study so hard until Dior is like Shein to you.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has downloaded:

I think Australians should have to go three rounds in the ring with a kangaroo before they eat him.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2418 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,580

Funny Quotes Topics

15,251

Funny Quotes Images

12,580

Updated

35 minutes ago

Users Online

3,447

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Instagram:

“Communism sounds good in theory, but doesn’t work in practice.” Capitalism doesn’t even sound good in theory.

Just landed via WeChat:

Americans be like, “MM:DD:YY” is how you say dates verbally, and then have a national holiday called “4th of July.”

Freshly posted on Twitch:

I feel so bad when I overtake an old person on the sidewalk. Like, man, I really didn’t mean to flex on you with my youthful stride.

Trending via Telegram:

All I’m saying is that at first I am shy and then I become a podcast.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

I think carefully about what I’m going to say and I still manage to say the wrong thing. It’s truly a gift I have.

Just shared via Discord:

Spice up your anxiety attack by playing the Jaws theme song.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

I’m sorry I said “Awooga” when you took off your clothes. Do you still want to have sexy time?

Spotted on Threads:

I don’t think we’ll ever see aliens. I bet that they’re just gathering information and waiting for us to destroy ourselves.

Going viral on Messenger:

Texting is so boring. Just show up to my door with roses.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Preparing for my beach vacation by watching Jaws.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2418 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,580

Funny Quotes Topics

15,251

Funny Quotes Images

12,580

Updated

35 minutes ago

Users Online

3,452

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

I don’t always listen to Metallica, but when I do, so do my neighbors.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has viewed:

“It’s been a long week!” Me, on a Tuesday.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has bookmarked:

New COVID variant tries to sell you an extended auto warranty.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

I voted for the candidate on the last yard sign I saw before pulling in. Slow children at play will lead us into the future.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

Happy Earth Day. You don’t look a day over 4 billion years and get hotter every year.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has bookmarked:

All these galaxies and planets, and we ended up on the one with 40 hour work weeks.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

Website: We use cookies to improve performance. Me: Same.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has shared:

Whispering to paramedic before I pass out: save me, but not enough that I have to go to work tomorrow.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has viewed:

I’m sick of diarrhea. I want to livarrhea.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has downloaded:

Moment of silence for those who received mugs that aren’t microwave- and dishwasher-safe.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Reddit:

When you look this sexy, they should let you leave work early.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Yogurts should come in a five-pack, not a four-pack, or make the workweek four days.

Spotted on X:

A good hack to make my house look clean and tidy in the evening is to turn all the lights off.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

At my age, “getting lucky” means walking into a room and remembering what you came in there for.

Breaking via Discord:

Therapy is basically me saying, “I did a thing,” and my therapist saying, “Yay, good job!”

Just shared via WhatsApp:

I’m so unpopular at school they call me “Batteries”. I’m never included in anything.

Reported on Twitch:

Hey, can I get an ETA on that “this too shall pass”?

Going viral on Threads:

If stress burned calories, I’d be a supermodel by now.

Just shared via TikTok:

Sick and tired of these 30 mins weekends.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Kinda sucks that I actually own a skeleton but don’t get to show anyone until I die.

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