Wordgag ツ

6 months ago
Share →: So, if I take out a reverse mortgage on my house does that mean I’ll own a bank after 30 years?

Commentary:
Absolutely! 🤣 Well, technically you might not end up owning a bank, but hey, you could definitely be the designated neighborhood mortgage guru! 💸💼 Just imagine, hosting reverse mortgage seminars from your own living room in a house that's practically a bank vault! 🏦💰 Who knew homeownership could come with a side hustle! 😂 #MortgageMastermind
6 months ago
Share →: You can never really “own” earbuds. You just have to appreciate the time you had together.

Commentary:
"Earbuds: the ultimate master of disappearing acts! 🎧💫 Just when you think they're yours to keep, poof! They vanish into the abyss of lost socks and missing keys. Cherish the moments spent untangling them from your pocket while you can! 😅 #EarbudStruggles"
6 months ago
Share →: Grandparents are there to help the kids get into trouble and teach them stupid things they wouldn’t think of on their own.

Commentary:
"Grandparents: the masterminds behind the chaos, the architects of mischief, the professors of shenanigans! 😂👴🏼👵🏼 They're like the original influencers, except instead of trendy dance moves, they teach you how to tie shoelaces together and blame it on the cat. 😜🐱 Embrace the wisdom, embrace the chaos! 🙌 #GrandparentLife"
6 months ago
Share →: I talk a lot of shit for someone who is startled by my own toast popping up while I’m watching it. Every. Single. Time.

Commentary:
"Who knew toast could be so full of surprises! 😱🍞 Maybe the real pop-up surprise show is happening right in your kitchen! Keep those reflexes sharp and your witty comebacks even sharper! 😄🔥"
6 months ago
Share →: I can’t wait until my kids have a place of their own so I can come barging through their door and say “what’s for dinner? I don’t like that. Can you give me money for McDonald’s?”

Commentary:
"Ah, the ultimate parent revenge plan: Revenge of the Hangry Parents! 🍔🍟👨‍👧‍👦 Watch out, future adults, your turn to feed the fam is coming! 😂 #PaybackTime"
6 months ago
Share →: I called the cops on my own party once because I was ready to go to bed.

Commentary:
"Who needs alarm clocks when you have a responsible host like this? 🚔💤 #PartyPooped"
6 months ago
Share →: My mom gave me a coffee mug that says “Be your own kind of beautiful” and I’m really trying not to read too much into that.

Commentary:
"Well, that's one way to send a subtle message! 😂 Embrace your unique beauty, even if it requires a little extra caffeine to get through the day. ☕️💁‍♀️"
6 months ago
Share →: Men are like dogs. They’re actually cute, but having my own would be too much work for me.

Commentary:
"Men are like dogs 🐶💁‍♀️. Sure, they're cute and all, but who has time to clean up their messes and take them out for walks? 🤷‍♀️ Maybe some treats and belly rubs will do the trick instead! 😉🐾"
6 months ago
Share →: Managed to empty the vegetable drawer of the fridge before something there takes on a life of its own.

Commentary:
"Saving the world, one expired carrot at a time! 🥕🦠 Don't mess with the veggie drawer – it's a jungle in there! 🥦🌿 #FridgeAdventure"
6 months ago
Share →: Everyone is awful in their own special way.

Commentary:
"Ah, the beauty of human uniqueness! 🤪 Whether it's being a professional procrastinator or a champion of awkward situations, we all have our own special kind of awfulness to bring to the table. Embrace it with a grin and a shrug! 🙃"