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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇶 has bookmarked:

I think the Discovery Channel should be on a different channel every day.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has viewed:

Be the reason someone spits out their drink today.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has downloaded:

A beautiful woman should never have to send an email. Yet, such tragedies occur every day.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has downloaded:

You can mess up big time letting someone know you have a printer.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has viewed:

I just got lied to by 3K+ people. That recipe was awful.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has downloaded:

Sorry, I’m late. I took a walk around the world to ease my troubled mind.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has shared:

I was at the cemetery when a little kid walked up to me and said she was afraid. I took her hand and told her that I used to be afraid too… when I was alive.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has downloaded:

Maybe if I spend another day alone in my room then something life-changing will suddenly happen to me!?

Someone from 🇨🇻 has copied:

As everyone was arguing about politics, no one saw me leave with the cake.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has downloaded:

You come from dust and you’ll return to dust, so that’s why I never dust. It could be someone I know.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2326 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,488

Funny Quotes Topics

15,192

Funny Quotes Images

12,488

Updated

21 minutes ago

Users Online

3,457

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I told the trees what you did. Be wary when you enter the forest next.

Just landed via Slack:

Do I work hard? No. But do I work smart to compensate. Absolutely not.

Making waves on Threads:

The meteorologist who devised the wind chill factor has died. He was 86, but he felt like 75.

Reported on WhatsApp:

I don’t like who I become when I’m watching someone Google something less efficiently than I would myself.

Trending via WeChat:

I wonder if the sun also takes pictures of humanity going down?

Just shared via Snapchat:

Doctors who give out lollipops really treat their patients.

Shared recently on Twitch:

If you watch soccer backwards, it’s about 11 sad and 11 happy men who nag each other until they get along eventually.

Trending via WhatsApp:

I’m either at work, going to work, coming home from work, sleeping for work, getting ready for work, or thinking about work.

Making waves on Facebook:

You know what I never see anymore are those old alcoholics with the weird noses.

Seen just now on Threads:

I wish flies spoke English, so I could say, ‘Hey, if you don’t leave right now, I am going to kill you so hard.’

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2326 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,488

Funny Quotes Topics

15,192

Funny Quotes Images

12,488

Updated

21 minutes ago

Users Online

3,452

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇴 has bookmarked:

If you’ve been talking for 5 minutes straight, it might be someone else’s turn.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has viewed:

I can’t wait til I have hearing aids, so I can just turn them off when I’m tired of hearing everyone.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has viewed:

I just want a bar where I can pour my own drink, have music at a normal volume, and there are no people, and it’s my house.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has downloaded:

Marriage tip: If your wife goes silent in the middle of an argument, you probably shouldn’t ask if you can go back to mowing the lawn.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has bookmarked:

People who lie all the time really think that we don’t know.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has downloaded:

Me: “I’m still young.” My bones: “No, we not.”

Someone from 🇳🇿 has viewed:

Noam Chomsky sounds like the legal name of the very hungry caterpillar.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has bookmarked:

My husband refused to get glasses. But that was before he brushed his teeth with fake tan.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has viewed:

Daylight savings is not enough. You need to be daylight investing.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has copied:

Just because it’s a bad idea doesn’t mean that it ain’t gonna be a hell of a lot of fun.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Telegram:

I would go out of my mind, but I can’t find the exit.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Sometimes, I wonder what my life would be like if I had a good haircut.

Going viral on Slack:

Sorry I didn’t text you back, I was pretending I didn’t see it and ended up actually forgetting.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

No one is more hated than those two people who start a standing ovation.

Freshly posted on X:

Maybe there’s an alternate universe where onions cry when they chop up humans, you don’t know.

Reported on Facebook:

Every retail employee should get to hit one customer a year and there is no way for customers to tell if they’ve used it yet.

Making waves on Discord:

May her tire get flat with a dude who can’t change it.

Shared recently on Discord:

God doesn’t do nearly enough smiting anymore.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Alcohol: When you want to run away from your problems without moving.

Just landed via TikTok:

You get what you pay for. Unless the delivery man leaves it on your doorstep. Then the fastest person on your street gets what you paid for.

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