Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇷 has copied:

I was brought up in the wild by hyenas. Times were hard, food was scarce but we had some great laughs.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has viewed:

You know it’s bad when people start telling you that you are the strongest person they’ve ever met.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

If there was an award for staying at home, I’d win and then send someone else to pick it up for me.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has bookmarked:

Playdates were invented to force parents into cleaning their home.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has shared:

I need a horror movie where a kidnapper abducts a possessed child and finds out.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has copied:

By accepting their pardons, the turkeys are admitting guilt.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has copied:

Being old is basically trying to figure out what part of the body the noise is coming from, and why.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

If I could be in two places at once, I’d be in bed twice.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has downloaded:

Doing dry January, so I’ve had eleven Diet Cokes at this bar.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has downloaded:

My daughter’s new Bluetooth karaoke mic has suddenly and mysteriously disappeared, and we are all just so, so sad that we can’t find it.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,366

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Messenger:

Somehow I picked the worst possible decade to try to have a career.

Just landed via YouTube:

What do you even say when someone knocks on your bathroom stall … like, what’s the protocol?

Spotted on Snapchat:

I only went to medical school to figure out where your arms are supposed to go when you sleep and they didn’t even teach us that.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

They said, “Enjoy your money because life is short.” Now my money is finished, but I’m still alive.

Trending via Reddit:

The adjective for metal is metallic, but not so for iron, which is ironic.

Just shared via Telegram:

Not to brag, but I don’t need alcohol to send texts I’ll regret.

Seen just now on YouTube:

I bet the person who named the fireplace also named the waterfall.

Spotted on Twitch:

God forbid a girl wanna kiss and be kissed.

Just landed via Pinterest:

In your 20s, you’ll meet a short man. It’s very important you jump over him.

Trending via Twitch:

You learn a lot about someone when you marry them. For example, I learned I should have married someone else.

Funny picking up quotes

Funny picking up quotes bring a splash of humor to those awkward first chats 😄✨ Whether you’re breaking the ice or just looking to make someone smile, these witty one-liners are your secret weapon 🎯💬 Ready to turn heads and spark laughs? Let’s dive into the world of clever, cheeky, and downright hilarious pick-up lines that keep the vibe light and fun! 😂🔥

New funny picking up quotes 👇

All funny picking up quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

25 shares on Twitch this month:

Some people post such depressing love shit that I start to miss their exes myself!

66 shares on YouTube this month:

You can’t hurt me. You’re not how I look first thing in the morning.

37 shares on Instagram this month:

In the morning: Tired! At lunchtime: Tired! In the evening: Tired! In bed: “Everybody dance now!”

54 shares on Twitch this month:

By the time someone says, ‘To make a long story short,’ it’s too late.

53 shares on Snapchat this month:

When I say “the other day”, it can be anytime between yesterday and my birth.

25 shares on Facebook this month:

Addicted to bad posture. Omggg, why is it so comfortable to give yourself scoliosis?

32 shares on Pinterest this month:

Bored as hell. Anyone want to emotionally manipulate each other?

94 shares on Snapchat this month:

The subtle art of surviving this life with grace and dignity.

91 shares on Instagram this month:

Do people exist who manage to wash, dry, fold, and put away their laundry in the same day?

21 shares on YouTube this month:

Pilot is one of the few jobs where you can get fired for going above and beyond.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I just read a thing that said I should compliment myself on my decisions, regardless of the outcome. No thanks, I’m not the government.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I had zero respect for my boss until he started appearing exclusively by hologram.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

So tonight me and my phone are playing hide and seek. So far my phone is winning.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t even want to talk about the things I had to do to that elf to get back on the nice list.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

People need to understand the difference between want and need. Like, I want abs, but I need chocolate.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I wanna be a jellyfish— no heart, no brain, no feelings, no pain— just blub blub blub.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Why can’t people be tested like watermelons? You tap them on the head and find out whether they are normal or bad.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Once you find a pair of pants that fit you perfectly, it’s over for all your other pants.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Women are like a fitted sheet. No matter what you do or how hard you try, they just never seem to cooperate.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Every family needs a delusional daughter who is ambitious about relieving all her family’s struggles solely by winning the lottery one day.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,671

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇱 has copied:

Breaking up is fine, but logging me out of your Netflix is crazy.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

In your 20s, you will be tempted to prove that you’re doing well. It’s important you resist performing for an audience that isn’t watching.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has copied:

What song lyric resonates with you the most? Mine is “we’re tiny, we’re toony, we’re all a little loony”

Someone from 🇫🇮 has downloaded:

Two reasons you never date at work: 1. HR frowns upon it. 2. Your partner gets super pissed.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has bookmarked:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just here unloading my dishwasher.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has shared:

It’s generally a good idea to start punching and throwing elbows immediately upon waking up because there may be enemies nearby.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has bookmarked:

My ability to remember song lyrics from the ’90s far exceeds my ability to remember why I walked into the garage.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has bookmarked:

I have everything you could possibly ever need in my purse, except for money.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has shared:

I wish other jobs let us solve issues by releasing diss tracks. Got some sick rhymes about Debbie from accounting and her poorly structured invoicing.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has viewed:

I never give second chances, just 10 and then goodbye.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Snapchat:

It’s hard to sleep knowing that cake is in the fridge.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

My wife is refusing to bring me a beer. That’s it, gonna text her and say “I cannot believe how lazy you are”.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Airlines when they need to change your flight: here’s a complimentary napkin. Airlines when you need to change your flight: that’ll be $8700.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Autumn at last. Sitting on the sofa all day with a blanket and tea and watching movies. Just like in summer, but with a blanket and tea.

Spotted on Messenger:

The main reason for stress is the daily contact with idiots.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

To all the people who ask singles why they are actually single: Please don’t. We have sworn an oath and are not allowed to tell you the secret of our success.

Just shared via Facebook:

I walked into a holiday party, saw someone else already playing with the dog, and realized they’d stolen my entire social strategy.

Spotted on TikTok:

You realize you’re getting old when your body parts start fighting over which one hurts first.

Spotted on Snapchat:

In the 90s, you could tell who won the rap battle by who was still alive.

Just landed via Threads:

All soups are gazpacho if you’re lazy enough.

© 2026. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴