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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇴 has shared:

Shout-out to my embarrassingly squeaky ass bed frame that makes me sound more popular than I actually am to my neighbors.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has viewed:

We used to have “spring, summer, fall, winter”. Today we have “drama, drama, drama, drama”.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has copied:

The best part about Smarties is pouring them into an empty prescription bottle and shaking them all into my mouth while waiting in line.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has downloaded:

Went on a date with a guy who didn’t ask me any questions about myself, so it’s on him when he finds out about my husband.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has copied:

Twitter when Franz Ferdinand got shot would have been the best day ever.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has bookmarked:

I’m having a garage sale and hope people I’ve borrowed things from don’t come.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has downloaded:

The secret ingredient to being really funny is childhood trauma.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has copied:

Accidentally falling asleep is always the best sleep — and that’s so irritating.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has copied:

My dad thought Siri would be more helpful finding a lemon ricotta recipe if he used an Italian accent.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has bookmarked:

Who called it girl math and not galgebra?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

816 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,978

Funny Quotes Topics

13,919

Funny Quotes Images

10,978

Updated

49 minutes ago

Users Online

3,432

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on TikTok:

My security system is just a bunch of my unpaid bills taped to my front door.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Just when you’ve built some confidence that you’re a smarter than average human, universe sends you captcha.

Seen just now on X:

If I were Juliet, I would NOT be pleased to find a man standing under my balcony at midnight. Sir, I am in my jim-jams.

Trending via Discord:

Beware. There are people in the grocery store that you know who want to chat with you. Stay vigilant.

Spotted on WeChat:

9am: anything is possible. 2pm: maybe tomorrow.

Just landed via WeChat:

Appliances always know when you’re getting a tax refund.

Spotted on Facebook:

Hate when people ask “why is it called Silence of the Lambs?” Like, did you hear any lambs during the movie? Use your head!

Trending via Slack:

Sometimes a lover girl, sometimes a dinosaur.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Couldn’t afford a man cave. Had to settle for a gazebro.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

“How is the job search going?” First of all, that is a violent question. And it hurts me, by the way. And second, how the hell should I know.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm sleep social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

816 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,978

Funny Quotes Topics

13,919

Funny Quotes Images

10,978

Updated

49 minutes ago

Users Online

3,445

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇷 has viewed:

Money talks, but all mine ever says is goodbye.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has bookmarked:

For a girl that loves sleep and hates stress, my career choice is questionable.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has shared:

The concept of a courtroom sketch artist is so funny to me. Here’s our little murder doodler.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has viewed:

Umbrellas are great if you only want to get wet sideways.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has downloaded:

Some days you’re the bat, some days you’re the ball.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has shared:

Have kids so you can fully appreciate how well your dog listens.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has shared:

Told my boss I was going to the bathroom but didn’t say which one. Now I’m at home.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has downloaded:

This meeting could have been a pajama party.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has shared:

Sometimes, after I’ve completed a task that wasn’t on my to-do list, I’ll add it and then cross it off for the free dopamine boost.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has copied:

Work again? Really? Didn’t I just do that yesterday?

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Twitch:

Shoutout to everyone pretending to have it together. Same.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

How long do you actually have to wear a muscle shirt until you get muscles?

Spotted on Pinterest:

Stupidity begins where irony is no longer understood.

Just shared via Facebook:

Apparently, telling your friends not to stress about their wedding because “it’s your first marriage” is not the right thing to say.

Freshly posted on Threads:

And once again my day begins without a red carpet! Guys, I’m really disappointed in you.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Everything is awful, and no one is going to save you from this treacherous world. Oops, I mean, happy Friday!

Seen just now on Pinterest:

I could be a masseuse, or I could just be pulling your leg.

Spotted on Pinterest:

I literally just went through something, and now I’m going through something else. What’s next?

Going viral on Instagram:

You are the Monday of my life.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

First caveman to see fire: Well, this is a buncha bullshit that no one needs (stomps it out) and I predict that’s the last I’ll ever see of that.

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