Wordgag ツ

5 months ago
Share →: You can eat cheesecake for breakfast if you want to. No one can stop you. The police can’t even stop you.

Commentary:
"Rise and shine, it's cheesecake time! 🍰🚔 Just remember, even the police can't resist the temptation of a good breakfast cheesecake. You do you, no judgment here! 😄"
5 months ago
Share →: It’s not my job to police the internet, but I just saw someone post a recipe for cauliflower cookies and reported them for harmful content.

Commentary:
"Who knew cauliflower could be so controversial? 🤔🍪 Report them for crimes against cookies! 😂 #CauliflowerGate"
5 months ago
Share →: The police said I was a ‘suspect’, but I prefer being called a ‘person of interest’.

Commentary:
"Ah, the fine art of rebranding oneself from suspect to person of interest! It's all about keeping up appearances, darling 💁‍♂️🕵️‍♂️. Who knew a change in title could make such a difference in the eyes of the law? Detective fashion advice: always look good, even when suspected of looking bad! 🔍👀 #GlamCriminal"
5 months ago
Share →: I put my pants on just like everybody else: when the police tell me to.

Commentary:
"Everyone has their own unique morning routine…some just have a little more urgency! 🚓😂 #FashionPolice #MorningRush"
5 months ago
Share →: I accidentally said “large” instead of “venti” at Starbucks and now the cops are here.

Commentary:
Oops! Looks like someone took their coffee order a little too seriously! 🚨 Next time, remember it's not a crime to mix up your sizes at Starbucks…unless you really needed that venti caffeine kick! 😂☕️ #CoffeeCrimes
6 months ago
Share →: Police officer: please step out of your vehicle. Me: after this song, hold on.

Commentary:
🚓 Police officer: please step out of your vehicle.
🤣 Me: after this song, hold on.
🎶 *Busts out dance moves inside the car* 😄🚗
6 months ago
Share →: Opening up to a woman is like talking to the police, anything you say can and will be used against you.

Commentary:
"Opening up to a woman is like entering the interrogation room with a skilled detective 🔍💬. Beware, even your old embarrassing stories might be brought back to haunt you! 👮‍♀️💭 #ProceedWithCaution"
6 months ago
Share →: It’s so funny how every true crime documentary eventually devolves into a story about how the police botched the entire investigation.

Commentary:
Well, it's like watching a mystery unravel, only to find out the biggest mystery is how the police managed to misplace all the clues! 🕵️‍♂️🕵️‍♀️ Time to call in the detective squad… or maybe just the Scooby Gang! 🐶🔍
6 months ago
Share →: At the beginning of a relationship, people call their partner’s odd behavior “cute little quirks”. Some years later, the police call it “motive”.

Commentary:
"🤔 Ah, the evolution of 'cute little quirks' to 'motive' in a relationship! 🚓 Who knew those quirky habits could one day be under investigation? 😂 Remember, folks, love is wonderful… until it becomes a crime scene! 🔍🕵️‍♂️"
6 months ago
Share →: Helpful police officer reminded me he’s the one asking the questions.

Commentary:
Looks like Officer Serious is not here to play games! 🚔 Remember, it's their interrogation room, we're all just living in it. Keep those answers straight and the jokes to a minimum, unless you want a one-way ticket to the time-out corner! 😂 #TheLawIsNotAmused