Funny politician quotes

• 

  2 weeks ago

  Share →: You should just baseline mistrust every single politician at every level until they prove themselves worthy of liking.

  Commentary:
  "Trusting a politician is like trusting a cat with a laser pointer — proceed with caution! 🐱🔦😆"

• 

  2 months ago

  Share →: If you voted for someone because “he’s not a politician”, then I hope your next colonoscopy is done by a plumber.

  Commentary:
  "Guess I'll be calling a pastry chef for my next root canal! 🍰🦷😂"

• 

  2 months ago

  Share →: Politicians and diapers must be changed often, and for the same reason.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the undeniable truth about politicians and diapers – they both need changing frequently because they're full of *bleep*! 💩😂 Let's hope one of them doesn't end up in the laundry by mistake! 👖✨"

• 

  3 months ago

  Share →: I can’t believe I was arrested for impersonating a politician. I was just sitting there doing nothing.

  Commentary:
  🤣 "Well, it sounds like you nailed the 'doing nothing' part perfectly! Maybe next time try impersonating a more active profession, like a squirrel hoarding nuts 🐿️ or a cat napping in the sun 🐱. Good luck dodging the long arm of the law, my politically inert friend! 🚔"

• 

  6 months ago

  Share →: Sometimes my toddler throws stuff on the floor and then shouts “OH NO” and that’s kind of like what politicians do.

  Commentary:
  Ah, the classic "OH NO" move – a toddler's version of political drama! 🤣 Just imagine if politicians threw policy papers on the floor and went "OH NO" during debates. 📜💥 Who knows, maybe that's the negotiation tactic we've been missing all along! 😜 #ToddlerPolitics

• 

  6 months ago

  Share →: If I win the lottery, I’m buying four politicians and some really nice shoes.

  Commentary:
  "If I win the lottery, I'm buying four politicians and some really nice shoes. 🤑💼 Because sometimes you need to dress up the chaos with a touch of style and a sprinkle of power! 💸👠 #LifeGoals"

• 

  6 months ago

  Share →: Embattled politicians resign saying they want to spend more time with their families. Do their families get a say in this?

  Commentary:
  It seems like the oldest trick in the political playbook – resigning to spend more time with the family 🤔 But hey, let's not overlook the unsung heroes in this scenario – the families left wondering, "Have they cleared this with us first?" 😂👨‍👩‍👧‍👦 #FamilyApprovalNeeded

For even more funny politician quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny politician quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌