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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇪 has copied:

Reading is a gateway drug to being less stupid.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has viewed:

Just spent a couple seconds concerned about the sounds my stomach was making before realizing it was a motorcycle outside.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has bookmarked:

At this point of my celibacy, I can see the same colors as mantis shrimp. What do you know about blorange and gurple?

Someone from 🇲🇰 has bookmarked:

Friends with benefits, but it’s just that they make delicious baked goods.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has downloaded:

Today feels like a good day for a cheeseburger.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has bookmarked:

Why can’t opportunity just come back later?

Someone from 🇸🇹 has shared:

Sometimes I wish I was an octopus, so I could slap eight people at once.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has downloaded:

If we get invaded by space aliens, I am immediately defecting to the alien side. Sorry.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has downloaded:

Everyone who dramatically ‘quits’ social media is back in 48 hours like it was just a trial separation.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has downloaded:

Not now, babe, it’s my nightly phone enrichment time.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,444

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Reddit:

Good luck to everyone out there trying to gather enough energy to function this week.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

I’d be a horrible stalker… I’m always late.

Just landed via WeChat:

Called in, “I can either stay home today and learn to play this accordion or bring it in with me. Your call.”

Shared recently on Facebook:

The second half of your life begins when you stop wanting to get even and start wanting to get odd.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

Not to brag but I can chop an onion without crying. And I can cry without chopping an onion.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Be the spooky thing in the woods that you wish to see in the world.

Spotted on TikTok:

Nothing flies faster than the ketchup out of the bottle when you only want a little.

Seen just now on Telegram:

When you say “You’re going to hate me for this,” you’re making a very large assumption that I don’t hate you already.

Trending via YouTube:

I kind of enjoy living in a world where I can end a conversation by simply not texting back.

Just landed via Messenger:

Sorry to interrupt your scrolling, but I hope life gets better for you.

Funny prevention quotes

Funny prevention quotes bring a laugh 😄 while reminding us to stay safe and smart! Whether it’s avoiding spills, mishaps, or everyday oops moments, these witty lines make prevention feel less like a chore and more like a clever life hack 🛡️✨. Ready to giggle your way to better habits? Let’s dive into some humor that keeps trouble at bay—with a smile! 😂🚫

New funny prevention quotes 👇

All funny prevention quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

41 shares on Telegram this month:

Right before rock bottom, you’ll have a city builder game on your phone.

69 shares on WeChat this month:

I stopped experimenting in bed after the great honey disaster of 2015.

54 shares on YouTube this month:

Let’s skip the getting-to-know-you phase. Just block me.

22 shares on WhatsApp this month:

All I know for sure is that I could be wrong.

76 shares on WeChat this month:

As a childless adult, it is my duty to embrace hobbies and pastimes that my peers cannot, as they have sacrificed their free time to maintain the population. I must vibe and chill, and do fun things, in their honor.

14 shares on Facebook this month:

After I drink coffee, I show my empty cup to the IT guy and say that I have successfully installed Java. He hates me.

67 shares on Pinterest this month:

Never meeting another person again, so if I know you already, congrats!

84 shares on X this month:

Much like a candle, I was tall when I was young, but I get shorter as I grow old.

94 shares on Discord this month:

I do all my own stunts, but never intentionally.

60 shares on Snapchat this month:

The sexual tension between me and the person I’m not supposed to have any sexual tension with.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Oh, sorry, I can’t right now. I’m imagining some things and worrying about them.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Roses are red, violets are blue. Your parents are very disappointed in you.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Imagine being all knowing and still putting a snake in charge of apples.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t worry, darling, you won’t break me. Someone already beat you to it.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

When Chuck Norris was born, the doctor got slapped.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Everyone wants the bagel to be everything, but no one asks if the bagel needs anything.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Life would be so much easier if the nose of people who lie all the time did actually grow longer like Pinocchio’s.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Your ex is ruining someone else’s life now. You are safe.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Being famous on social media is like being rich in Monopoly. It’s not real, so calm down.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

My employer is totally caring. They pay so poorly that I can’t afford to have an alcohol or drug problem.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,625

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇿 has shared:

If there’s one thing I’m good at, it’s being annoyed by stupidity.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has shared:

Relationship status: my sex robot filed a restraining order.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has downloaded:

The world would be a much nicer place if we just turn off the news.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has bookmarked:

I’m broke — I got money, but it’s for responsibilities.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has bookmarked:

“I’m asking Santa to bring some of you a sense of humor for Christmas.”

Someone from 🇮🇶 has viewed:

It’s not my job to police the internet, but I just saw someone post a recipe for a cauliflower cake, and I reported them for harmful content.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has bookmarked:

I’ve already broken all my resolutions and like four commandments.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has shared:

Reading is a gateway drug to being less stupid.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has shared:

Biting the heads off all these gingerbread men if you wanna swing by.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has downloaded:

First date idea: we search for each other’s criminal history together.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Reddit:

Fitness influencer: It’s important to listen to your body. Body: You’re old. And you want lasagna.

Live now on Twitch:

It seems that after checking my bank account, I need to turn to a life of crime.

Trending via LinkedIn:

The only thing I love more than an open mind is an open bar.

Just landed via Twitch:

A dinosaur as a pet would solve so many problems. Mainly, people problems.

Going bananas on Discord:

Men love when you ask them to explain something to you. It is considered a sign of deep respect in their culture.

Just landed via Pinterest:

“Stalking”. God forbid I have access to public information and know how to utilize my resources.

Trending via Threads:

Remember the good old days when you didn’t have to wonder if the person messaging you was a bot or not?

Shared recently on Facebook:

If you like pointing out beautiful scenery to three people who are on their phones, a family road trip is for you.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Kinda miss when crushes were butterflies instead of complex emotional calculations about compatibility and red flags.

Breaking via Snapchat:

I don’t know how to mop my kitchen floor without pretending l’m cleaning up a gruesome crime scene.

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