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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇸 has viewed:

Divorcing my wife to focus on my porn addiction.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has downloaded:

We are so shocked by “Butthead” that we ignore the strangeness of the name “Beavis”.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has copied:

Blaming the full moon for whatever unhinged decision I make tonight.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has shared:

Hate it when my alarm goes off in the morning, and I’m still alive.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has copied:

A bridesmaid, but to carry the end of my CVS receipt.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has copied:

Everybody in the world, stop fighting or no dessert.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has downloaded:

Why does the weekend always feel like it lasts five minutes?

Someone from 🇩🇿 has viewed:

Boss: You’ll never find another job like this. Me: That’d be great.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has viewed:

Having a bathroom switch outside a bathroom and a sibling is a bad combination.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has bookmarked:

If your first child is uncomplicated, then it’s a trick of nature to get you to have a second child. The second will be an unpredictable bundle of energy that seems to get by without sleep.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2326 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,488

Funny Quotes Topics

15,192

Funny Quotes Images

12,488

55 minutes ago

3,452

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Messenger:

Bartenders be like “here’s that receipt, I’ll go ahead and put it on the wettest part of the bar”.

Going viral on Instagram:

When you have finished reading this funny quote, you will be a little closer to death than before.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

I think it’s clear that companies making medicine have no idea what fruits taste like.

Just shared via X:

There’s a great new book on minimalism but I only read the blurb because I believe that’s what the author would want.

Seen just now on Instagram:

The train announcer just said we should keep our personal belongings with us at all times but I’ve left most of mine at home.

Seen just now on Messenger:

If you get cremated after you die, you can be put into an hourglass and still participate in family game nights.

Going viral on YouTube:

My chess strategy is eating one of your pieces every time you look away.

Freshly posted on Discord:

No time like now to start “flossing regularly” before tomorrow’s dental appointment.

Making waves on Snapchat:

I’m a multi-tasking procrastinator. I can put off multiple things at once.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

I can’t do the splits. But so far there has never been a situation where I’ve thought, “I should do the splits now.”

Home » Funny Prevention Quotes

Funny prevention quotes

Funny prevention quotes bring a laugh 😄 while reminding us to stay safe and smart! Whether it’s avoiding spills, mishaps, or everyday oops moments, these witty lines make prevention feel less like a chore and more like a clever life hack 🛡️✨. Ready to giggle your way to better habits? Let’s dive into some humor that keeps trouble at bay—with a smile! 😂🚫

New funny prevention quotes 👇

1 month ago
Share →: Before I drink, I eat liver so the liquor won’t know which liver to attack.

Commentary:
😂🍹 "This liver's playing hide and seek like a pro! Who knew internal organs could outsmart a drink? Cheers to culinary camouflage!" 🍔🎉
5 months ago
Share →: When one door closes, lock it securely, along with all your other doors and windows, before any inspirational quotes get in.

Commentary:
"Seems like someone's had their fair share of inspo-overload! 🤣 Better safe than sorry, right? Just imagine a herd of motivational quotes marching in through the window… Yikes! 🔒🚪 #SafetyFirst"
Jan 21, 2025
Share →: Make sure you stock up on condoms, so you don’t produce any more idiots.

Commentary:
"Prevent more idiots with your extensive condom collection – the world thanks you! 🌍🚫🤡 #NoMoreIdiots"

For even more funny prevention quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny prevention quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2326 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,488

Funny Quotes Topics

15,192

Funny Quotes Images

12,488

55 minutes ago

3,438

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇽 has downloaded:

Do crabs underwater think that fishes fly?

Someone from 🇪🇬 has shared:

I’ll never be badass enough to walk around chewing on a toothpick.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has downloaded:

No, thanks—social drama. Puberty sucked enough the first time around.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has downloaded:

I was so locked in, to the point where we were tongue-kissing with morning breath.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has viewed:

That looks like a problem for someone else.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has downloaded:

I read somewhere that playing white noise helps you sleep better, but I didn’t find country music helpful at all.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has viewed:

Don’t wait for later to eat the cake. Do it now, before another mammal of your household finds it.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has viewed:

Hey, sorry I can’t go out tonight. I already showered and got into bed, and now I’m busy rubbing my feet together like a little grasshopper.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has copied:

Third wheeling with two girls who are best friends is so much worse than third wheeling a couple.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has shared:

One of my biggest fears during a zombie apocalypse is having to sleep without a fan.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via WhatsApp:

In my defense, Your Honor, I grossly misunderstood the meaning of Boxing Day.

Spotted on Discord:

There is nothing like a little tomato soup to soothe the soul, even if it’s cold, over ice, with a celery stalk and vodka.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

I love ketchup from my head to-ma-toes.

Breaking via Telegram:

Some days you are the table and some days you are the toe.

Freshly posted on X:

The only function of a middle name is so a child can assess how much danger they’re in.

Just shared via WeChat:

People can’t drive you crazy if you don’t give them the keys.

Live now on Threads:

Always tell people different stories about yourself, so when they talk about you, they’ll argue.

Shared recently on WeChat:

If you wish me a happy Thanksgiving, don’t be surprised if I whip out a ziplock bag and ask you to bring me home some leftovers.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Stop checking your phone every minute. No one loves you.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

I will always be hotter than everyone who hates me.

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