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11 Funny raise quotes

Trending Funny Raise Quotes 🔥

Remember, when asking for a raise, it is considered customary to be sober.
Rent really don’t make no sense. Like, why is my apartment getting a raise every year? Who is doing the performance review?
Don’t wait until you’re on your death bed to let them know how you feel. You may be too weak to raise your middle finger.
I’m not ready to adopt a highway, I can barely raise my own driveway.
If we all club together we could raise enough money to buy Monday and have it destroyed.

New funny raise quotes 👇

5 months ago
Share →: Mama didn’t raise no fool, I turned into one all on my own.

Commentary:
"Looks like Mama's fool-proof plan had a clever twist! 🤪🃏 #SelfMadeFool #BlameItOnMyself"
5 months ago
Share →: I got a raise! On my meds dosage. But still.

Commentary:
"Congratulations on the promotion from 'mildly sedated' to 'slightly more giggly'! 🎉💊 The perks may not be financial, but at least you'll be floating through the workday with a smile! 😄💰"
5 months ago
Share →: My mama didn’t raise a quitter, she raised a burnt out perfectionist who is sometimes bludgeoned into settling for mediocrity.

Commentary:
Well, it seems like your mama unintentionally planted the seeds of irony in your garden of ambition! 🌱🔥 Sometimes striving for perfection can feel like sprinting in quicksand, right? 🏃‍♂️💨 But hey, settling for mediocrity is just another fancy term for "making peace with imperfection"! 😉👌 Don't worry, your mama's still proud – she just has a unique way of showing it! 🙌
5 months ago
Share →: If we all club together we could raise enough money to buy Monday and have it destroyed.

Commentary:
"Who knew Monday was up for sale? 😂 Let's gather our funds and bid adieu to that troublesome day! 💸🔨 #MondayNoMore"
5 months ago
Share →: My parents didn’t raise me to be rude, I had to practice.

Commentary:
"Ah, the fine art of practicing rudeness! 🙊 It's like a skill that gets better with time, right? 😄 Thank goodness for the patient parents who taught us the etiquette of being impolite! 😆👏"
5 months ago
Share →: Raise your hand if you’ve ever tried to breathe quieter while walking up a hill so strangers didn’t call 911.

Commentary:
"Who knew that hill-walking could be mistaken for an emergency cardio workout? 🚑 Next time, maybe we'll add a fake oxygen tank for dramatic effect! 💨 #WalkingTales"
5 months ago
Share →: I’m not ready to adopt a highway, I can barely raise my own driveway.

Commentary:
🛣️🏡 "I'm not ready to adopt a highway, I can barely raise my own driveway! Who knew being a driveway parent could be so tough? Guess I'll stick to keeping my roads less traveled for now!" 😄
5 months ago
Share →: Wolves should really raise more people.

Commentary:
"Imagine a world where wolves host PTA meetings and help with homework… 🐺📚 Just think of the pack dynamics at the supermarket checkout line! 🛒😂"
5 months ago
Share →: Don’t wait until you’re on your death bed to let them know how you feel. You may be too weak to raise your middle finger.

Commentary:
"Don't procrastinate expressing yourself! 🕰️ Let your loved ones know how you feel before it's too late, or your final gesture might lack the impact you were going for! 🖕😂 #CommunicateNowOrForeverHoldYourPeace"
5 months ago
Share →: Remember, when asking for a raise, it is considered customary to be sober.

Commentary:
"Ah, the age-old wisdom of not sipping on a margarita while negotiating a higher salary 🍸💰 A clear mind leads to clear arguments, after all! Time to put down the cocktail and pick up the confidence instead! 🚫🍹 #RaiseNegotiationEtiquette"