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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇸 has viewed:

I’m doing well at accomplishing nothing today and I’m very proud of myself.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has shared:

Finally gathered all my thoughts and now they’re jumping me.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has shared:

I’m just impressed by how ugly I’m willing to look in public these day.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has downloaded:

Why socialize when you could party inside your room with your 10+ personalities?

Someone from 🇾🇪 has viewed:

There’s some gifs that I’ve started to act out in real life as responses to situations.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has shared:

December. A desperate celebration of an end.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has downloaded:

Seven wives and no alcohol? No thanks, Mormons.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has shared:

Referring to my boss’s wife as my boss-in-law.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has copied:

I lied, I’m jealous. I hope every girl who looks at you gets clipped by a meteor.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has viewed:

Calling someone a “tough cookie” isn’t a compliment, tough cookies are literally the worst cookies.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,591

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Discord:

I know stretching every day will help me, but I don’t want to do it.

Making waves on Reddit:

Please don’t ask me about my dream job. I would never work in my dreams.

Making waves on Pinterest:

No matter how sad you are, there is some form of potato that can make it better.

Breaking via TikTok:

I don’t argue with idiots on the Internet, I just keep scrolling and mind my own business.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

I’m professionally employed and personally unhinged. Balance.

Seen just now on Slack:

The winter months remind me that it is crucial to find someone that you’re thermostatically compatible with.

Going bananas on X:

I’m of the very strong opinion that sex ed should be taught by a woman 37 weeks into her third pregnancy, while her husband sits scrolling through his phone, and her other two children run wild.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Went to the hairdresser today and now I look much younger. I’m thinking about going back tomorrow.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

Sure I collect antiques, if you count the late-century spices in my pantry.

Broadcasted on Discord:

Awesome that January is over, but rude that our reward for getting through it is February.

130 Funny reading quotes

Funny reading quotes bring a delightful twist to our love for books and literature! 📚😂 From humorous takes on the joys and quirks of reading to witty observations about bookish habits, these quotes capture the lighter side of the literary world. Enjoy a laugh and celebrate the fun of getting lost in a good book with these amusing reflections! 😄📖

New funny reading quotes 👇

People who read and research will always sound crazy to people who don’t.

1 week ago

always, communication, crazy, knowledge, people, perception, read, reading, research, sound, understanding
The only love triangle I’m interested in is between me, my book, and my cozy blanket.

1 week ago

blanket, book, comfort, cozy, humor, interested, love, love triangle, me, only, reading, relaxation, self, self-love, triangle
You don’t read Dostoevsky. You survive him.

1 week ago

book, Dostoevsky, humor, literature, read, reading, survival, survive
The book characters may be fictional, but my emotional instability over them is real.

1 week ago

book, book character, character, characters, emotion, emotional, emotional instability, fan, fan emotion, fictional, humor, instability, over, reading, real
(Seeing the guy next to me reading a novel) You know, none of that happened, right?

1 week ago

conversation, fiction, guy, humor, know, me, next, none, novel, reading, right, seeing, skepticism
The real pandemic was when everyone was reading The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck.

1 week ago

art, book, distraction, everyone, f*ck, giving, humor, pandemic, quarantine, reading, real, satire, self-help, subtle, The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck
It’s funny how sometimes you buy a book, then read it in two days, and sometimes you buy a book, and it lives on your bookshelf for 12 years.

1 week ago

12, book, book lover, bookshelf, buy, days, Funny, humor, lover, procrastination, read, reading, sometimes, time
Reading fanfics is so fun, I wish romantic attraction was real.

1 week ago

attraction, fanfic, fun, humor, i, reading, real, romance, romantic, thinking, wish, wishful, wishful thinking
Tech bro obsessed with “storytelling,” but hasn’t read a book in the last 5 years.

1 week ago

5, book, bro, humor, irony, last, obsession, read, reading, storytelling, tech, tech bro
Self-help books are brain rot. Return to fiction.

1 week ago

book, book recommendation, books, brain, brain rot, fiction, humor, reading, recommendation, return, rot, self-help, self-help book

For even more funny reading quotes, hit next 👇

All funny reading quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

41 shares on Telegram this month:

When I say I’m saving myself for marriage, what I mean is you won’t know how annoying I am until it’s too late.

48 shares on Messenger this month:

There’s no better feeling than coming home and immediately changing into your Adam Sandler fit.

46 shares on Slack this month:

I’ve never used a semicolon with 100% confidence.

20 shares on Twitch this month:

Mirror, mirror on the wall, why so many fingerprints?

42 shares on Discord this month:

This meeting could have been an oil painting.

46 shares on YouTube this month:

I embarrass myself in front of myself.

97 shares on Snapchat this month:

Garlic and bread is the only marriage I truly have faith in.

54 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Folks, please have more respect for people with glasses. Because they pay money to see you.

40 shares on YouTube this month:

Another Monday that no one asked for.

62 shares on X this month:

Men become instantly more attractive when they wear aviators; it’s science.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t need therapy, I need a bagel with cream cheese.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

If I had known how much care balcony plants need, I could have stopped taking the pill.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Oftentimes, I like the idea of an activity. The actual doing of said activity, not so much.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

My résumé is really just a list of things I hope I never have to do again.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

You can never lose a homing pigeon. If your homing pigeon doesn’t come back, what you lost was a normal pigeon.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Back in the day, you used to have to listen to records backwards to discover conspiracy theories.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Me, when someone’s obsessed with me: Yikes! Me, when someone’s not obsessed with me: WTF?

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t like how monkeys have taken ownership of the whole banana thing. I bet I like bananas almost as much as they do.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Even worse than the buzzing of the mosquitoes is the moment when it suddenly stops.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry, I’m late. My alarm didn’t go off because I didn’t set it, because I don’t want to be here.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,355

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

There is a special place reserved in hell for website designers who disable cut and paste in password fields.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has copied:

The problem with leading by example is that no one pays attention.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has viewed:

If we breakup because you “wanna focus on school,” I better see you in Harvard.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

If you were a dinosaur, you’d be a Gorgeousaurus.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has viewed:

If you’re out shopping this week, be nice to the retail workers. It’s not their fault you waited to shop until Mary’s water broke.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has downloaded:

Getting a wife is very powerful, because you get a personal psychic that will tell you things like, “Your keys are in the gray pants in the hamper,” and “He will ultimately betray you.”

Someone from 🇬🇳 has shared:

Spotify should have helpful mental health suggestions like “your top listens are Taylor Swift and true crime, go to therapy.”

Someone from 🇦🇿 has downloaded:

Welcome to your 40’s: it’s ten years of people saying “wait until you’re 50”.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has copied:

They need to invent a job for people who aren’t good at anything nor motivated nor social.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has downloaded:

A beautiful woman should never have to send an email. Yet, such tragedies occur every day.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Instagram:

Conflicts may arise but always remember to be the bitter person.

Just landed via Pinterest:

I get it, laundry, no one is doing me either.

Making waves on Threads:

Social media needs to crash for like a year so everybody can snap back into reality.

Spotted on Facebook:

Be useless, so nobody can use you.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

When this multivitamin kicks in I’m going to do so much success.

Shared recently on Instagram:

For my next trick, I’ll need a divorce lawyer.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

My favorite unit of measurement is smithereens.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Bro, you will never rewatch that 7-minute video you took of fireworks. Just live in the moment.

Just landed via Facebook:

I have never seen an alcohol company using a drunk person for any advertising, are they ashamed of their customers?

Live now on Discord:

The older I get, the more I walk like Charlie Chaplin.

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