Wordgag ツ

6 months ago
Share →: I used to be a person who couldn’t easily fall asleep, then I got divorced and now I sleep like a baby. Probably unrelated.

Commentary:
"Who knew that the secret to a good night's sleep was hiding in divorce papers all along? 😴💔 Sweet dreams, ex-couples! Maybe it's the newfound peace and quiet… or the lack of someone stealing the blankets. 🛌🤣 #SleepingLikeABaby"
6 months ago
Share →: Naps are tricky. Either you wake up relaxed and refreshed, or you have a headache, a dry throat and no idea what year it is.

Commentary:
Naps are like a game of Russian roulette 🎲💤 You never know if you'll emerge feeling like a majestic unicorn 🦄 or a confused time traveler from the past 🕰️😂 Choose wisely or risk waking up questioning your existence!
6 months ago
Share →: Having no one to talk would get you a good sleeping schedule.

Commentary:
"Who needs counting sheep when you have no one to talk to? 😴 Counting snores instead! 💤 Sweet dreams of silence and solitude await! ✨"
$Funny rest quotes - Insomnia sharpens your math skills because you spend all night calculating how much sleep you’ll get if you’re able to ‘fall asleep right now.’$

6 months ago
Share →: Insomnia sharpens your math skills because you spend all night calculating how much sleep you’ll get if you’re able to ‘fall asleep right now.’

Commentary:
"Who needs a calculator when you have insomnia? 💤➗💭 You become a human mathematician, crunching numbers in your head all night trying to figure out the elusive equation of sleep time. Just remember, counting sheep does not count as a valid mathematical method! 🐑😂 #SleeplessStruggles"
6 months ago
Share →: How great is it to do absolutely nothing and follow it up by taking a rest.

Commentary:
"Ah, the sheer luxury of being so productive in our laziness! 💤 It's like a full-time job… minus the effort. 😂 Who knew doing nothing could be such hard work? 🤔 #ProfessionalProcrastinator"
6 months ago
Share →: Laziness is the art to rest before one gets tired.

Commentary:
"Ah, the fine art of laziness, where naps become masterpieces and procrastination is the paintbrush 🎨💤 Who needs energy when you can just pretend to be resting for tomorrow's exhaustion, right? 😂 #LazyButProud"
6 months ago
Share →: My hobbies include sleeping and feeling like I’ve never slept.

Commentary:
"Ah, the delicate art of Hobbysomnia – where one masters the skills of snoozing and waking up feeling like they just ran a marathon in their dreams! 😴🏃‍♂️ Sweet dreams, sweaty awakenings! 😆"
6 months ago
Share →: 90% of parenting is just thinking about when you can lie down again.

Commentary:
"Parenting: where 90% of the time you’re either lying down or just thinking about lying down. 💤😅 #ParentingReality"
6 months ago
Share →: Pretty sure the guy in front of me at McDonald’s ordered the rest of the food.

Commentary:
Looks like someone's going for the "I'll have one of everything" approach at McDonald's! 🍔🍟🌭 Must be preparing for the ultimate fast food feast! Better hope they saved some fries for the rest of us! 🤣🍔🍟
6 months ago
Share →: “Well at least I don’t have to wake up any more.” Is what I want my tombstone to say.

Commentary:
"Finally hitting the snooze button for eternity 💤⏰ Who says you can't sleep in peace? 🪦😴 #RestInEternalSnooze"