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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇴 has viewed:

Crying at my desk while also finding time to cry in the shower makes for a healthy work-life balance.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has shared:

By day I am just a regular loser, by night I am the same loser only it’s nighttime.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has shared:

If Kanye got hacked, no one would even know.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has copied:

Love is not pushing them down the stairs when you have the opportunity.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has viewed:

Words I heard most when I ran errands with my dad: “Wait in the truck.”

Someone from 🇲🇱 has downloaded:

If I like you I keep you close, if not I keep you at a distance so I can mime squishing your head between my thumb and forefinger.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has copied:

If he doesn’t like your fruit puns, you need to let that mango.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has bookmarked:

I like my coffee so strong that it wakes up the neighbors.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has copied:

Do you think working at Pizza Hut would help you get a job at Sunglass Hut? You know, with all that hut experience?

Someone from 🇮🇶 has bookmarked:

Sports are better when you have hate in your heart.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

801 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,963

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,963

33 minutes ago

3,440

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Instagram:

Ramen is just anime spaghetti.

Trending via YouTube:

I wonder if Mary and Joseph hated putting away the Christmas stuff as much as I do.

Trending via Threads:

Strict parents raise good liars.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

My favorite part of Spring is its rolls.

Just landed via Reddit:

I’m afraid to go to therapy — what if they fix me and I lose my funny?

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

I miss my Dad opening the windows and talking about cross-ventilation.

Spotted on Reddit:

Some days you are the table and some days you are the toe.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Whoever named the grapefruit when there was already a fruit named grape. Incompetent legend. I wish we could hang out.

Trending via TikTok:

Quitting my job to rock around the Christmas tree.

Breaking via Snapchat:

Yes, my sex drive is higher than my will to live, and what about it?

Home » Funny Runny Quotes

Funny runny quotes

New funny runny quotes 👇

6 months ago
Share →: Nose so runny it just signed me up for a 10k.

Commentary:
Looks like that nose is ready to hit the pavement and outrun the competition! 🏃‍♂️🏅 Who knew a runny nose could be so ambitious? Just make sure it doesn't try to enter any marathons! 🏃‍♀️😂

For even more funny runny quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny runny quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

801 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,963

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,963

33 minutes ago

3,428

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇼🇸 has bookmarked:

If you add orange juice to Jason Momoa, you get a Jason Mimosa.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has copied:

Next time you think I am flirting with you, ask yourself if kindness is so rare in your life that you mistake it for desire.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has bookmarked:

When you said “let’s circle back to that in the new year” and now it’s the new year.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has bookmarked:

The umbrella was going to be called brella, but the inventor hesitated.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has bookmarked:

If you want to know what God thinks of money, look at the people he gave it to.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has shared:

Just asked this girl Hannah how she spells her name, and she just said, “Two of everything, darling.” Iconic!

Someone from 🇿🇦 has viewed:

If you push your belly button and nose at the same time, your brain takes a screenshot.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has shared:

Good morning only to the complexity and uncertainty of everything.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has viewed:

The main problem is that far too many people have far too easy access to podcast equipment.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has viewed:

If you’re going to text your boss that you’re an hour late, make sure you end with, “I’m bringing you a ham and cheese croissant.”

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Instagram:

I’m rearranging the kitchen which is devastating for my husband because now suddenly he remembers where everything used to be.

Spotted on Facebook:

Whenever someone asks me if my dog is adopted I respond with, “no, she’s biologically mine.”

Seen just now on Instagram:

If you really think about it, extraordinary isn’t that great. It’s just an extra helping of ordinary.

Freshly posted on Threads:

If your name is “Guy”, you have lazy parents.

Making waves on Slack:

Everyone knows that Christmas is the celebration of the immaculate conception of Mariah Carey.

Trending via Telegram:

We often come across people in life who make us think: “Oh look, evolution takes a break too!”

Spreading quickly via Slack:

Overheard the most hilarious conversation on my morning commute, then realized it was just me talking to myself in my car.

Just shared via Pinterest:

They call it a coffin because they’re finally coughing up that inheritance.

Just shared via Facebook:

Coffee ain’t cutting it anymore. I need to eat batteries.

Seen just now on YouTube:

I’m just another dysfunctional train wreck barreling down the tracks with a smile.

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