357 Funny say quotes

• Sarcastically saying “you’re welcome” to the people who don’t say thank you when I hold the door for them is something I’ll never stop doing.

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  1 hour ago

  behavior, doing, door, etiquette, gratitude, hold, holding, holding door, humor, i, never, people, rude, rude behavior, sarcasm, say, saying, social, social etiquette, something, stop, thank, thank you, welcome

• People say 70-80 year olds are unemployable because of mental decline, yet somehow they’re running all the countries.

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  14 hours ago

  ageism, decline, elderly, employment, humor, irony, leadership, mental, mental decline, people, politics, running, say, unemployable, year

• Being depressed is so embarrassing. It’s like, look at me, guys. I have nothing positive to say, and I make everything miserable.

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  1 day ago

  being, depressed, depression, embarrassing, embarrassment, everything, guys, health, humor, i, me, mental, mental health, miserable, misery, negativity, nothing, positive, say, self-awareness

• People will say “sounds good” at work when things don’t sound good at all.

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  4 days ago

  communication, good, misunderstanding, office, people, phrase, sarcasm, say, sound, sounds, things, work

• What does international law say about a third Margarita?

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  1 week ago

  alcohol, drink, humor, international, international law, law, margarita, question, say, third

• Men used to go to war. Now they say, “Hey, Grok.”

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  1 week ago

  caveman, communication, greeting, grok, humor, man, men, say, used, war

• I hate when people say “It could be worse” because it could be better, too.

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  1 week ago

  better, comparison, complaint, hate, humor, i, irony, people, perspective, phrase, say, too, worse

• They’re bluffing when they say you can still get knocked off the nice list this late in the game. Santa’s been delivering gifts in Japan for hours by now; that list is locked. Do whatever you want.

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  2 weeks ago

  Christmas, deadline, excuse, game, gift, gifts, holiday, hours, humor, Japan, late, list, locked, nice, nice list, procrastination, Santa, say, still, want, whatever

• If I worked construction, I would always say, “It’s hammer time,” when I left for work.

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  2 weeks ago

  always, construction, hammer, humor, i, joke, left, phrase, pun, say, time, work

• I say “long story short,” and suddenly we’re in Act III with an intermission.

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  2 weeks ago

  act, conversation, exaggeration, humor, i, intermission, joke, long story, say, short, story, storytelling, theater

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