Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇳 has bookmarked:

Getting older is so fun. Your life goals slowly transition from things like ‘land a dream job’ to ‘successfully grow a cherry tomato.’

Someone from 🇵🇬 has bookmarked:

The closest thing I’ve had to a personal trainer is the ice cream truck that drove past my house.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has copied:

My problem is I always think I can get ready in 15 minutes when I have repeatedly proven that I can’t.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

Nothing gets my heart pumping like receiving an annoying newsletter.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has viewed:

They invented the word metallic, because irony was already taken.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has copied:

I just really hope The Weeknd’s real name isn’t Mnday.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has viewed:

Not opening up anymore, have fun trying to figure me out.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has shared:

If it was really a smart phone, it would have recognize that it was an ignored call, not missed.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has viewed:

You stop moving your mouse for 5 seconds, and Microsoft Teams will say you never showed up for work.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has copied:

The PhD student is someone who foregoes their current happiness in order to forego future happiness.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,713

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Facebook:

If you love something, set it free. If it comes back to you, then you love a boomerang.

Trending via Discord:

I have no need to judge people because of their religion, skin color or sexual orientation. Bad behavior is enough for me.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

I’m sorry, but I already have an A.I. boyfriend.

Shared recently on X:

What’s your favorite song about a white boy playing funky music?

Shared recently on YouTube:

Can I come over and crawl around on you like a bug?

Spotted on Facebook:

Hey (with the intention of making your fries my fries).

Freshly posted on Threads:

ADHD is when you buy a blender and then make smoothies every day for 2 weeks, and then never make one or even acknowledge your blender ever again.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Stop eating cakes with the fakes and come eat a bundt with a cundt.

Spotted on Messenger:

Valentine’s Day is a stupid and made up holiday unless someone wants to give me a present in which case I really believe in celebrating it.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

New year; new me. Just kidding. I’m already awesome.

307 Funny self-deprecation quotes

More funny self-deprecation quotes 👇

For even more funny self-deprecation quotes, hit next 👇

All funny self-deprecation quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

52 shares on Instagram this month:

My secret talent is turning any situation into a considerably more awkward one.

31 shares on WhatsApp this month:

No one warned me that being an adult was mostly just hurrying up to get somewhere you don’t want to go in the first place.

75 shares on YouTube this month:

Screaming into the abyss has lost some of its effectiveness, if I’m being honest.

74 shares on LinkedIn this month:

“Dairy Queen” is actually the perfect drag name.

67 shares on Facebook this month:

For my birthday, I want everyone to delete whatever old version of me they have in their head— it expired.

94 shares on Snapchat this month:

Ouija boards are like unannounced phone calls for ghosts.

16 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Going to ragebait men by asking, “Do you ever wish you were tall?”

50 shares on Pinterest this month:

Why be pretty when you can be pretty weird?

79 shares on Snapchat this month:

“You have reached your monthly article limit,” – a website you’ve never accessed before today.

64 shares on WhatsApp this month:

So many mistakes to make, so little time.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

6 folks are currently checking 👀

My girlfriend? You wouldn’t know her, she’s in a different data center.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

My sleep apnea was diagnosed at a staff meeting.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Feels like the Chinese government turned up the power on the sleepy ray they use on me every morning.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

All I want I for Christmas is to go to the mall in 1986.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I live in constant fear of being asked to repeat what you just said after I say I’m listening.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

So I got a call from a telemarketer, and he said he couldn’t understand me. I told him, “Press 1 for English.”

12 folks are currently checking 👀

My body is a temple. An ancient, creaky temple with questionable plumbing.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Holiday dinners with family are like real life boss levels with the worst loot.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Coffee is just goth water.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Just paid my bills, so don’t ask me to come out. I’m at home getting my money’s worth.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,588

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

There is literally no rule that says you have to get married and start a family. Normalize splitting a mansion with your five best friends and ten dogs.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has downloaded:

Salt and pepper shakers add an air of mystique to any bathroom.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has copied:

The biggest problem with finding another job is I don’t want one.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has shared:

Am I the only one who wonders why the Flintstones celebrate Christmas?

Someone from 🇲🇬 has shared:

People at the library need to learn how to be quiet. Some of us are trying to beatbox over here.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has viewed:

Just got some minutes of cardio trying to pick up an ice cube from the kitchen floor.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has downloaded:

Is everyone enjoying their entire month of August off work with full pay? Oh yeah, I forgot, only Congress gets to do that.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has viewed:

I avoid drama by being unpopular.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has viewed:

“That’s an interesting take,” I say, not listening.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has shared:

My version of flirting is looking at someone I find attractive multiple times and hoping they’re braver than me.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on X:

In search of someone who loves me as much as I love my snooze button.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

I wish there was a nicer way to say “my natural tendency to spot patterns is making me feel very uncomfortable about you”.

Trending via WeChat:

Take my advice, I’m not using it.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

Bit strange that the same culture is responsible for both kissing and onion soup. You’d think they’d be incompatible.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Beavers are also just otters that have learned carpentry.

Live now on Twitch:

I was gonna brush up against you like a cat, but whatever, bro.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Went for a run this morning. That bee was huge!

Freshly posted on Facebook:

It’s funny how people without pizzas in their hands actually think I’ll answer my door.

Spotted on Facebook:

Book reviews be like: “5 stars. I’m sobbing. I’m unwell. I haven’t eaten in 16 hours. Highly recommend.”

Seen just now on Discord:

Handle every stressful situation like a dog. If you can’t eat or play with it, just pee on it and walk away.

© 2026. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴