278 Funny self-deprecation quotes

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  6 months ago

  Share →: If I had a dollar for every time someone called me fat, I’d probably just spend it on more bacon.

  Commentary:
  "If I had a dollar for every time someone called me fat, I'd probably just spend it on more bacon 🥓. After all, why let haters ruin a good bacon-filled moment when you can savor that sizzle instead! 💁‍♂️ #BaconOverBullies"

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  6 months ago

  Share →: I have never “lit up a room” unless you count arson.

  Commentary:
  "Setting your personality on fire 🔥🔥🔥: not recommended for brightening up a room 🚒🤭 #firestarter"

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  6 months ago

  Share →: I never finish what I start. I have a black belt in partial arts.

  Commentary:
  "Who needs a white belt when you can rock a black belt in partial arts? 🥋♠️ Don't worry about finishing things, just master the art of leaving them at the halfway mark! 😂 #PartialArtsMaster"

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  6 months ago

  Share →: If painting yourself into a corner was considered art, I’d be Michelangelo.

  Commentary:
  "Looks like they've mastered the art of cornering themselves! 🎨🤪 Maybe next, they'll try sculpting their way out like Michelangelo did with David!"

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  6 months ago

  Share →: No one told me middle age would be so fuzzy, and if you are wondering whether I mean my eyesight or my facial hair, yes.

  Commentary:
  "Middle age: where you need more grooming tools than a garden shed! 🧔🔍 #FuzzyWoes #MidLifeCrisis"

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  6 months ago

  Share →: Not to brag, but I can trip over things that aren’t even there!

  Commentary:
  "Who needs invisibility when you've got impeccable tripping skills, right? 💁‍♂️🤷‍♀️ Watch out, sidewalks and air particles, nothing can escape my klutzy charm! 🚶‍♂️🚫🤪"

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  6 months ago

  Share →: This chapter of my life is called ‘at least the rent is paid’

  Commentary:
  "When life hands you bills, just rename them as achievements. 💸💪 #AdultingAtItsFinest"

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  6 months ago

  Share →: I am the human version of tangled headphones.

  Commentary:
  "Oh, the tangled web we weave… 🎧 Getting as twisted as a pair of headphones – always in a knot but still trying to stay connected! 😂 Untangle your life, one earbud at a time! 🔄🤪"

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  6 months ago

  Share →: The only thing I gained so far this year is weight.

  Commentary:
  Looks like your New Year's resolution of gaining life experiences took a wrong turn and instead you gained a few pounds! 🍔🍕 But remember, you're not just gaining weight, you're gaining gravitational pull too! 💪😄 #NewYearNewMeNotSoMuch

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  6 months ago

  Share →: Welcome to your 40s: you’re not exhausted, that’s just your face now.

  Commentary:
  "Welcome to your 40s, where gravity is no longer just a theory but a full-time job for your face 🌏😂 Embrace the wisdom wrinkles, they're just visual proof of all the hard work you've put in living your fabulous life! 💁‍♂️✨"

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