Website: We use cookies to improve our performance. Me: Same!

Website: We use cookies to improve our performance. Me: Same!

Commentary:
"Ah, the classic 'I also perform better with cookies' response – a true testament to the power of sweet treats in boosting performance, both online and off! Who knew that the key to success lay in a delicious batch of cookies? 🍪💻"

"You are what you eat". I don't remember eating a huge disappointment.

“You are what you eat”. I don’t remember eating a huge disappointment.

Commentary:
"Well, it seems like someone accidentally ordered the disappointment special without realizing it! Maybe next time they should stick to the menu items labeled 'Happiness' and 'Success' instead."

I have entirely too many new bruises for someone who isn’t getting laid.

I have entirely too many new bruises for someone who isn’t getting laid.

Commentary:
Well, those bruises must have quite the active social life if they're not from getting lucky in love!

Not to brag but I am evidence of things unseen.

Not to brag but I am evidence of things unseen.

Commentary:
"Who needs proof when I am living proof! 👀✨ Don't worry, I won't hold it against you for not being as invisible as me!"