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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇭 has downloaded:

Where do cicadas go when they’re not screaming? I’d like to go there and scream.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has downloaded:

“You should exercise for at least 30 minutes every day”. Okay, and how much if you’re not trying to go to the Olympics?

Someone from 🇲🇱 has bookmarked:

50 shades of single.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has shared:

Nothing ruins my day quite like getting out of bed and dealing with people.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has bookmarked:

Not much is worse than that feeling of going back to work after a lunch, or a vacation, or just going to work in general.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has copied:

If I was polyamorous, I think Id date my girlfriend three times.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has viewed:

Alcohol is actually a performance-enhancing drug. But you’re not gonna like the performance.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has downloaded:

This gingerbread house isn’t even close to fire safety codes.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has downloaded:

I will never be the person this serving size suggestion wants me to be.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has copied:

My brain is 80% song lyrics.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

765 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,927

Funny Quotes Topics

13,899

Funny Quotes Images

10,927

41 minutes ago

3,420

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on X:

Messages are way funnier when you know how the person talks.

Making waves on Facebook:

When you are stressed you eat ice cream, cake, chocolate and sweets, because stressed spelled backwards is desserts.

Making waves on Telegram:

I don’t drink alcohol. I like suffering raw.

Trending via LinkedIn:

An internship is only unpaid if you don’t steal enough.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Having children is a pyramid scheme.

Trending via WhatsApp:

People in my real life annoy me, so I come online to annoy you.

Just shared via X:

Don’t you hate it when you lose things? Like the motivation to do anything.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

She took all my money, called me fat, AND stabbed me in the arm. I hate doctor appointments.

Just shared via WeChat:

The ideal man is always thinking of several cool things at once (throwing a football really far, a truck with big wheels, giving a lot of high fives).

Just shared via Facebook:

Just eating the emotional support snickers bar in my purse. How about you?

Home » Funny Talk Quotes

118 Funny talk quotes

Funny talk quotes highlight those moments when our words just don’t come out the way we intended! 😄🗣️ Whether it’s saying something awkward, mixing up your words, or accidentally speaking your thoughts out loud, these quotes remind us that talking can sometimes lead to hilarious misunderstandings. After all, a slip of the tongue can turn into the best laugh of the day! 😂🤭💬

New funny talk quotes 👇

19 hours ago
Share →: Hate Google’s Gemini. If I wanted to get misinformation from a Gemini, I’d talk to my mother.

Commentary:
Sounds like Google took astrology a bit too seriously! 😂🔮📉
2 days ago
Share →: It’s Friday. I ran out of small talk on Tuesday. Please leave me alone.

Commentary:
When the small talk supply chain runs dry by midweek 😂🙌 #SilenceIsGolden
3 days ago
Share →: Women love deciding to never talk to you again, and actually do it.

Commentary:
Silent treatment: Level 100 achieved! 😂🤐💁‍♀️
1 week ago
Share →: Most men don’t actually want to do things; they just want to talk about doing them.

Commentary:
"Ah, the professional benchwarmers of life! 🛋️🙄 Why do when you can discuss?"
1 week ago
Share →: The zero likes won’t stop me from posting. I will talk to myself if I have to.

Commentary:
"Zero likes? That's just me having a private conversation with my biggest fan! 🤣🗣️ #SelfieSupport"
1 week ago
Share →: Sorry, I can’t talk right now. The seam of my sock feels weird.

Commentary:
"BRB, on a mission to rescue my foot from sock distress! 🧦🚨🤣"
2 weeks ago
Share →: Lately, when I meet new people, I ask them what their hobbies are instead of what they do for work, and let me tell you, the conversations have been absolutely top tier!

Commentary:
"Turns out collecting rubber ducks and competitive potato peeling are way more fascinating than spreadsheets! 🦆🥔🤣"
2 weeks ago
Share →: Terrifying if taken literally—if these walls could talk.

Commentary:
"Imagine the drama these walls would dish out! 📢🧱 Gossip Central reporting for duty! 😂"
2 weeks ago
Share →: Anyone who wants to learn how to be humble, feel free to talk to me. There’s nothing like learning from the best.

Commentary:
"Want to master humility? Just follow my lead—I'm the best at being humble! 😎🙌 #HumbleBrag"
2 weeks ago
Share →: Serious replies to silly posts are now illegal. Go talk to your wife.

Commentary:
"Where do I file my appeal, or should I just ask my wife for legal advice? 😂👩‍⚖️📜"

For even more funny talk quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny talk quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

765 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,927

Funny Quotes Topics

13,899

Funny Quotes Images

10,927

41 minutes ago

3,436

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇴 has bookmarked:

One downside of marrying a doctor is you have to give up eating apples.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has bookmarked:

Of course, I also put my mobile down from time to time. For example, when someone tries to call me.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has viewed:

Totally unrealistic movie title: “The Postman Always Rings Twice”. We all know that these guys only ring once and then leave.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has shared:

Still don’t understand how girls with no jobs be holding iPhones.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has viewed:

You get to a certain age and realize stretching is non-negotiable.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has bookmarked:

Putting a blanket over my boss so he thinks it’s night time and goes to sleep.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has shared:

Diabetes was the God of sugar.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has bookmarked:

Cancel culture has been canceled.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has viewed:

God created childbirth so women could know how men feel when we have a cold.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has downloaded:

I’m not into casual sex. Send me a résumé.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Slack:

You ran a half marathon? That’s really cool, I’ve almost finished a bunch of things, too.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Imagine being a giraffe and having to throw up.

Making waves on Threads:

Sorry I’m late, I believed the washing machine when it said it only had one minute left in the cycle.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

Grandparents are there to help the kids get into trouble and teach them stupid things they wouldn’t think of on their own.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

They say dress for the job you want, but this baby diaper isn’t very comfortable.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

The only reason to engage with a neighbor is if either of you is on fire.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

A funny thing about the Heimlich Maneuver is that it’s impossible to pronounce if you’re choking.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Kids today have it much easier. When I was growing up and something bad happened, we had to go outside and spread our misinformation in person.

Just shared via Threads:

I’ll rewind a movie, get on my phone, and miss the same part.

Just landed via Slack:

If idiots could fly, TikTok would be an airport.

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