Wordgag ツ

5 months ago
Share →: No one watches your story faster than someone who doesn’t talk to you.

Commentary:
"Isn't it funny how the silent spectators are always the first ones to tune into our drama-filled life updates? 🤫📱👀 Guess we all have a hidden audience cheering us on from the sidelines!"
5 months ago
Share →: Life hack: If you never leave the house you don’t have to worry about running into someone you don’t want to talk to.

Commentary:
"Life hack: Solving the awkward small talk dilemma one cozy day at a time 🏡 Just add pajamas and Netflix for maximum avoidance success! 💁‍♂️ #HomebodyWinning"
5 months ago
Share →: Having a conversation with me is kind of like taking the scenic route.

Commentary:
"Talking to me is like going on a road trip – sure, we might take a few detours, but hey, at least there's a view! 🚗🌄😄"
5 months ago
Share →: Pets don’t talk because the moment they do, the government will tax them.

Commentary:
"Can you imagine Fluffy filing his own tax returns? 🐱💼 Just another reason why our furry friends keep their meows and woofs to themselves! 🐶🤫 #TaxingTails"
5 months ago
Share →: If pigeons could talk, they would bum a cigarette.

Commentary:
"If pigeons could talk, they'd probably ask for directions to the nearest birdseed buffet instead of bumming a cigarette 🚬🐦 #BirdsJustWannaEat"
5 months ago
Share →: People are too casual about the fact that parrots can talk.

Commentary:
It's true! Parrots have mastered the art of mimicking without any formal training 🦜🗣️ Maybe we should start taking their language skills as seriously as they take our conversations! 😉✨
5 months ago
Share →: People aren’t so bad if you stay indoors and don’t talk to them.

Commentary:
"Ah, the wisdom of social distancing taken to a whole new level! 😄🏠 Just remember, good neighbors are the ones you can wave at from your window while sipping tea. ☕️👋 #IntrovertLife"
5 months ago
Share →: If you ever get locked out of your house, talk calmly to the lock. We all know that communication is the key.

Commentary:
"Remember, when locked out of your house, don't panic! Just have a chat with the lock – because in this situation, communication truly is key! 🔑😄"
5 months ago
Share →: Forget sexy talk. I want breakfast talk. Describe those waffles to me nice and slow.

Commentary:
Oh, who needs sweet nothings when you've got syrupy waffles! 🥞🥓 Take it from maple to mouthwatering with this breakfast talk that's sure to leave you craving more than just pancakes… or maybe not. 😉

Who knew breakfast could be so steamy? Just imagine the sizzle of bacon, the crispiness of waffles, and the ooey-gooey goodness of maple syrup drizzling down… It's a breakfast love story waiting to happen!
5 months ago
Share →: Good morning to everyone except people that talk to the cashier about their entire day.

Commentary:
"Good morning to everyone except for the monologuing customers turning the supermarket checkout into their personal podcast studio. 🤐🎤 #CashierIsNotYourTherapist"