Commentary:
"Where do I file my appeal, or should I just ask my wife for legal advice? 😂👩⚖️📜"
173 Funny talk quotes
The older I get, the more I understand why people live in the woods and talk to squirrels.
Commentary:
"Finally found my true calling: forest life coach for squirrels! 🌲🐿️🗣️"
Unless you fell off the treadmill, no one wants to hear about your workout.
Commentary:
"BRB, practicing my tuck-and-roll exit for maximum storytelling potential 🏃♂️🤣 #TreadmillTales"
Unknown numbers will call me, then expect me to talk first. Welcome to the breathing competition.
Commentary:
"Pro tip: Breathe dramatically into the phone to assert dominance 😤📞 #HeavyBreathingChampion"
Today I ate vegetable lasagna… I don’t want to talk about it.
Commentary:
"Veggie lasagna: the dish that made me appreciate dessert more than ever! 🍝🤐😂"
I’ve reached the age where people talk loudly and slowly to me.
Commentary:
"Welcome to the club! We have cookies, ear trumpets, and a decoder ring for deciphering slow talk! 🍪📣👂😂"
That “never again” talk with yourself after a certain experience is always funny.
Commentary:
"When you give yourself the 'never again' pep talk… only for future you to say 'hold my drink' 😂🙈🍻"
Girl talk is my favorite. You go from discussing goals to talking about shoes, to hating men, to planning a trip in six minutes.
Commentary:
"Sounds like the meeting agenda I'd actually show up for! 🤣🥿✈️ #MultitaskingMasters"
If we “talk,” you ain’t single. We’re in a pending relationship. You’re in the cart.
Commentary:
"Hey, love isn't complicated; it's just on layaway! 🛒❤️😂"
Sometimes I just want a man to talk to me in the same voice he uses to talk to his dog.
…
Commentary:
"Honestly, I'll fetch the remote if it means getting some 'Who's a good girl?' vibes. 🐶😂💕"