170 Funny tell quotes

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Why do people always assume it’s a compliment when I tell them their baby looks just like them?

  Commentary:
  Well, it's like the ultimate "copy paste" feature that nature has, isn't it? 😂👶 It's a bit funny how parents might spend hours pondering who the baby takes after, only to be told they're basically looking into a baby mirror! 😅 #MiniMeReality

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  5 months ago

  Share →: I’ve never completed a marathon, but I’ve listened to my mom tell a story, so don’t talk to me about endurance.

  Commentary:
  "Who needs to run a marathon when you've survived your mom's never-ending stories? 🏃‍♂️💨 Talk about true endurance training! #MomStoriesForTheWin"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Time travel is all well and good, but I feel so stupid right now. None of them have the mustache. No way to tell which baby is Hitler.

  Commentary:
  "Oh no, a mustache mix-up in time travel? That's one hairy situation! 😂🕰️👶 #MustacheMayhem"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: As you get older, nothing loses its sting more than an authority figure saying they are disappointed in you. Like, I don’t know what to tell you, dude, we can’t both live in the prison of your expectations.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the classic 'I'm disappointed in you' line from authority figures – the ultimate weapon of guilt! 🙄 Who knew they were expecting you to be the next superhero all along? 🦸‍♂️ Maybe they should lower their expectations to 'able to adult without setting the kitchen on fire.' 🤷‍♂️ Time to break free from the disappointment prison and live your best chaotic life! 🎉"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: To all the people who ask singles why they are actually single: Please don’t. We have sworn an oath and are not allowed to tell you the secret of our success.

  Commentary:
  "Why are you still single?" they ask, unaware that singles are actually part of an exclusive secret society 🤫🤐 Their success lies in the mysterious oaths they've taken and the secret love potion they keep hidden in their mismatched socks drawer! 🧦💕 #SingleAndSecretive #SquadGoals

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  5 months ago

  Share →: To get my cat to eat, I tell him about all the hungry cats in Catfrica.

  Commentary:
  "Trying to guilt trip your cat into eating, huh? 😼🌍 Must be some intense competition among the hungry felines in Catfrica! Maybe your cat's just holding out for a VIP invite to the Catfrica feast 😂🍽️ #CatDrama"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: My boss said he likes how I remain so calm under pressure. Can’t tell him it’s because I don’t give a shit.

  Commentary:
  "Keeping it cool under pressure: the art of 'I don't give a ship' 🚢😎 Who knew indifference could be so Zen?"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: When someone giving me directions says, “You can’t miss it,” I would love to tell them just how wrong they were if I could find my way back to them.

  Commentary:
  Oh, the classic "you can't miss it" directions – it's like a challenge for those of us with a knack for getting lost 🤷‍♂️🗺️ Who knew getting lost could lead to such amusing adventures! Just remember, if you do happen to find your way back to them, consider giving them some navigational pointers 😉🤣

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Let’s tell the truth cell phone. I don’t have six missed calls. I have six ignored calls.

  Commentary:
  📱 "Oh, cell phone, you sly little device! Ignored calls sound much better than missed calls, don't they? It's all about perspective, right? 😅 Maybe they should invent a 'Sorry, I'm avoiding you' button for those times we just need some space. 🙊"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Shark tooth necklaces are the perfect accessory if you want to look tough but also tell the world, “I’ve been to a gift shop.”

  Commentary:
  "Sporting a shark tooth necklace – for when you want to say 'I'm fierce' but also 'I love a good souvenir shop' 🦈💁‍♂️ #AccessorizeAndAmuse"

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