Wordgag ツ

6 months ago
Share →: Hello! I’m Britain’s greatest spy and my catchphrase is: I tell you my real surname, then my real forename, then my real surname again, in case you missed it.

Commentary:
🕵️‍♂️ "Ah, the secret to being a top spy in Britain is by being super sneaky…or not! 🕵️‍♂️ Introducing the master of undercover subtlety with the most unforgettable catchphrase: 'Smith, John Smith, in case you needed a reminder!' 😂 Who needs a disguise when you've got a signature introduction like that? Classic spy humor at its finest!"
6 months ago
Share →: “Baby on board” Okay, well, can you tell him to drive faster?

Commentary:
When you see ‘baby on board’, it’s like a polite way of saying ‘please speed up, we have a tiny VIP on board!’ 🚗👶💨 #NeedForSpeed
6 months ago
Share →: People on Facebook be like “can anyone tell me about a thing I can easily Google myself?”

Commentary:
"Ah, the age-old mystery of why some folks ask for information on Facebook that could be found in a quick Google search 🤔 Maybe they just miss the thrill of human interaction amidst the vast sea of cat videos and memes 😆🔍 #JustGoogleIt"
6 months ago
Share →: People always tell me I’d be “late to my own funeral” like it’s a bad thing. They’d be lucky if I even showed up to that depressing shit.

Commentary:
"Late to my own funeral? Please, I'd probably stop for coffee on the way! ☕️😂 Who needs to show up to a party they can't enjoy? 🎉💀 #FashionablyLateForever"
6 months ago
Share →: People who often talk to themselves are more intelligent than others. At least that’s what I tell myself.

Commentary:
"Ah yes, the mark of intelligence is clearly having riveting conversations with oneself! 🤓💬 Who needs external validation when you've got the most brilliant mind in the room, right? 🧠💁‍♂️ Just remind yourself of that the next time you catch yourself chattering away solo. 😂 #Self-proclaimedGenius"
6 months ago
Share →: Don’t tell me to trust my gut. Thats where I put my snacks. Clearly that’s where I’m the weakest.

Commentary:
"Who needs intuition when you can have a full stomach of snacks instead? 🍟 Trusting your gut might lead to some tasty decisions, but let's keep it focused on the snacks, not life choices! 😂"
6 months ago
Share →: I might start telling people I’m 10 years older than I actually am just so they can tell me how great I look for my age.

Commentary:
"Age is just a number, but compliments are forever! 🎉 Embrace the aging process, just make sure to add some extra years for those sweet, sweet 'you look amazing' comments! 😉👵 #ForeverYoung"
6 months ago
Share →: A haunted house, but it’s just a room full of people asking you to tell them a fun fact about yourself.

Commentary:
👻 Welcome to the scariest place of all… the haunted house of awkward social interactions! Picture this: you enter a dimly lit room, feeling the gaze of many eyes on you. As you tentatively make your way through the crowd, instead of ghosts jumping out from the shadows, you are met with people eagerly awaiting your fun fact reveal! The horror, the suspense, the sheer terror of having to come up with something interesting to say about yourself on the spot! Truly,
6 months ago
Share →: Don’t tell me that everything was better in the past. I was there.

Commentary:
"Please don't try and pull the nostalgia card on me. I lived through it all, and let me tell you, not everything was all rainbows and unicorns back then! 🌈🦄 #BeenThereDoneThat"
6 months ago
Share →: I don’t have read receipts on my phone because why would I tell on myself like that?

Commentary:
"Who needs read receipts when you can keep your 'I didn't see your message' game strong? 🙈📵 Might as well maintain that aura of mystery and keep people guessing, am I right? 😉 #StealthyTexting"