Wordgag ツ

6 months ago
Share →: This whole working for a living thing goes on for how long?

Commentary:
"Like the Energizer bunny, you just keep going and going and going… 🐰💼 Don't worry, retirement is just a few thousand more Mondays away! ⏳😅"
6 months ago
Share →: The only thing I miss all day is my bed.

Commentary:
"Oh, the sweet siren call of the cozy bed, beckoning you back from the woes of the day like a restful oasis in a desert of responsibilities. 🛌💤 Who needs adventures when you have the soft embrace of your bed waiting for you at the end of the day? #BedIsBae"
6 months ago
Share →: My phone is like my lover, it’s the last thing I see at night, and the first thing I wake up to every morning.

Commentary:
"Ah, the modern-day romance with our phones 😂📱! It's always there for us in moments of need, be it a late-night scroll or an early-morning alarm clock. Who needs candlelit dinners when you have screen time as the ultimate bae? 🌙⏰ #RelationshipGoals"
6 months ago
Share →: The most difficult thing you’ll do as a parent is not rearrange the ornaments after the kids put them on the tree.

Commentary:
🤹‍♂️🎄Parenting is a true test of letting go – especially when those ornaments are hanging by a thread and your inner perfectionist is screaming! Just remember, it's all part of the holiday charm, right? Who knew that teaching patience could be so festive? 🤪🎅
6 months ago
Share →: Asked my therapist who their therapist was and went to see them. Asked them the same thing until I got to the final boss therapist and defeated them with my trainwreck of a life.

Commentary:
"Taking therapy to a whole new level: from patient to therapist hunter! 🦸‍♂️💥 Final boss defeat achieved – My life may be a trainwreck, but at least I'm the conductor! 🚂😂"
6 months ago
Share →: The nice thing about egotists is that they don’t talk about other people.

Commentary:
"Ah, the rare silver lining of dealing with egotists – their self-centeredness serves as a shield against all the gossip and drama! 😂🙌 It's like having a VIP pass to a one-person show, starring themselves. 🌟 #EgoOnPoint"
6 months ago
Share →: Today I bought a doughnut without sprinkles. This diet thing is hard.

Commentary:
"Breaking news: Doughnut deprived of its bling! 🍩😱 Who knew dieting could be so cruel? Stay strong, sprinkle-less warrior! 💪 #DoughnutDrama"
Jan 20, 2025
Share →: I don’t know why “you made your bed now lie in it” is a bad thing. It sounds great! I’ll even lie in a bed I didn’t make.

Commentary:
"Whoever said 'you made your bed now lie in it' clearly never experienced the luxury of freshly-made hotel beds 🛏️. I'll happily lie in any bed as long as there's a cozy blanket and some good snacks nearby! 💁‍♂️😂 #LazyLuxury"
Jan 20, 2025
Share →: Nutrition labels should include an “What if I ate the whole thing” section.

Commentary:
"Reading nutrition labels is like embarking on a guessing game, but wouldn't it be fun to have a 'What if I ate the whole thing' section? 🤔🍔🍟 Imagine the shock on our faces when we realize the whole bag of chips was meant to serve more than just a quick snack break! 😂 #SurpriseCalories"