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Someone from has copied:

Everyone has their talents. Mine is picking the checkout line filled with people who apparently have never gone through a checkout line before in their life.

Someone from has downloaded:

Dear autocorrect, that’s not what I was trying to say. I’m getting tired of your shirt.

Someone from has downloaded:

If I sing “Hello” and you think of “Lionel Richie” and not “Adele,” then you can probably predict the weather with one of your knees.

Someone from has bookmarked:

I only sleep so my phone can get the night off.

Someone from has downloaded:

By the time I remember to text back, it be too disrespectful to even do it.

Someone from has viewed:

Very confusing that gross pay is before tax. I always find the number way grosser after tax.

Someone from has viewed:

Everyone you know is fighting battles you don’t know about, except for my neighbor who just can not shut up about his battles.

Someone from has downloaded:

If it walks like a duck and talks like a duck, you’re drunk. Ducks don’t talk.

Someone from has copied:

If a man says he’ll fix it, he will fix it. There’s no need to remind him every six months.

Someone from has bookmarked:

Sorry, Mom, I can’t go outside, I’m ugly.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1502 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,664

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Updated

3 minutes ago

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Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Reddit:

Even Hotmail is hotter than me.

Spotted on Instagram:

Please no more relationships that are supposed to be a lesson. I’m already quite the scholar.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

They should invent a life where I know what I’m doing.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Saturdays are for doing absolutely everything or doing absolutely nothing, everybody knows that.

Making waves on Threads:

Going to work has backfired on me so many times.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Met my soulmate again today: mashed potatoes and gravy.

Spotted on Snapchat:

It’s okay, facial recognition. I don’t recognize myself anymore either.

Trending via TikTok:

You look like the kind of person whose recorded calls have been used for training purposes.

Breaking via YouTube:

April fools prank: replace all the sugar in your house with cocaine.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Elevators frighten me. I take steps to avoid them.

Home » Funny Think Quotes » Page 18

347 Funny think quotes

More funny think quotes 👇

6 months ago
Share →: I received my electricity bill. I think they billed me for sunlight, divine light, and the light at the end of the tunnel.

Commentary:
Hmm, sounds like your electricity bill is trying to brighten up your day! ☀💡 Looks like they're charging you for all types of light sources, including the divine kind. Better watch out for that next bill – they might start invoicing you for moonlight and starlight too! 🌟✨ #LightingUpYourExpenses
6 months ago
Share →: I think the most financially irresponsible thing I’ve done is get my kids to like sushi.

Commentary:
"Who would have thought that introducing your kids to sushi could be the gateway drug to a life of luxury dining experiences? 🍣💸 Next thing you know, they'll be asking for caviar and truffle fries as their everyday snacks! #ParentingFail #SushiAddicts"
6 months ago
Share →: Life is so funny because you think you look good today and a year later you look even better.

Commentary:
Isn't it funny how time works its magic on us like a fabulous fashion designer, constantly upgrading our style? 🕰️✨ Embrace the journey from good to even better, and strut your stuff with confidence on this runway called life! 💃🏽🔥 #GlowUpGoals
6 months ago
Share →: Feeling melancholy. Think I’ll have a drink and make things much worse.

Commentary:
"Ah, the classic 'make-it-worse-before-it-gets-better' strategy, a bold move indeed! 🍹 At least your drink will keep you company through the storm clouds of melancholy ☁️. Chin up, cheers to finding the silver lining at the bottom of the glass! 🥂"
6 months ago
Share →: I got confused by all the yard signs, and I think I may have voted for a realtor.

Commentary:
"Looks like someone thought they were electing a president, but ended up picking the 'House Hunter-in-Chief' instead! 🤣🗳️🏡 #ElectionDayOops"
6 months ago
Share →: Don’t cry because it’s over. Cry because you have an extra hour to think about it.

Commentary:
"Who needs tissues when you have time on your hands? 😅⏰ Let those tears flow, but make sure to schedule them accordingly! 😉 #ExtraHourExtraFeelings"
6 months ago
Share →: When I hear the word “horror”, the first thing I think of is bills, not Halloween.

Commentary:
"Ah, the true terror of adulting! Forget haunted houses, the scariest maze is navigating through those bills looming over us like ghosts in the night. 👻💸 Who needs Halloween when you have the spine-chilling spectacle of your bank account post-rent day? 😅 #SpookedByBills"
6 months ago
Share →: Can’t think of a single time the MGM lion advanced the plot of the movie in any way. Just needless jump scare.

Commentary:
🦁🎬 "If the MGM lion's roar is meant to reveal the story's climax, it seems we've been looking in the wrong direction. Maybe it's time for a new kind of 'roaring' success in Hollywood, one that doesn't send viewers leaping out of their seats before the drama even begins! 🤣"
6 months ago
Share →: The way my phone’s facial recognition pretends not to recognize me, you’d think I dated it.

Commentary:
"Looks like my phone has commitment issues with its facial recognition 📱🙄 Maybe I should take it out on a date and see if it changes its tune! 💔😂"
6 months ago
Share →: If you think someone has put a spell on you, send me $500 and I’ll get rid of it.

Commentary:
🔮💸 "If you suspect someone's been dabbling in the dark arts, just swipe $500 my way and I'll wave my magic credit card to banish that spell! ✨💳 Who needs potions and incantations when you have the power of money, am I right? 😂💸"