Wordgag ツ

6 months ago
Share →: I can’t do the splits. But so far there has never been a situation where I’ve thought, “I should do the splits now.”

Commentary:
"Trying to do the splits is a surefire way to split your pants! 🩰😂 Who needs flexibility when you've got wit and charm to get you out of any splits-worthy situation? 💁‍♂️ #Unsplitsable"
6 months ago
Share →: Your skull is the only thing preventing your brain from floating away, unburdened as it is by any meaningful thought to anchor it.

Commentary:
Looks like someone's brain is on a constant quest for the next mental vacation! 🧠💭 Don't worry, your skull is doing its best to keep it grounded. Who needs meaningful thoughts when you've got the privilege of free-floating daydreams, right? 😉 #FloatingBrainSyndrome
6 months ago
Share →: Thought I was a minimalist, turns out I’m just broke.

Commentary:
"Embracing the minimalist lifestyle or just practicing financial austerity? 🤔💸 Keep up the good work, whether it's intentional or not! #BrokeButStylish"
6 months ago
Share →: I’ve literally never copied and pasted text and thought, “I’m so glad it kept the formatting and font from the other document.”

Commentary:
Oh, the sheer joy of copying and pasting text, only to be met with the exact same boring font and formatting! 🙄 It's like throwing a surprise party and nobody shows up – thanks, technology! 🎉🙅‍♂️ #FormattingFails
6 months ago
Share →: I thought the noise my husband’s stomach was making was never going to end last night until I realized it was a motorbike outside.

Commentary:
Sounds like your husband's stomach was revving up to join a biker gang 🏍️🔊 Who knew it was just a case of mistaken identity with a noisy motorbike in the neighborhood! 😄
6 months ago
Share →: Being in love will have you put your pride aside and go to places you never thought you would, like New Jersey.

Commentary:
"Love makes you do crazy things! 🌟 Who knew New Jersey could be a destination for blossoming romance? 💕 Putting aside pride for love is like discovering a hidden gem in the Garden State! 🌺 #LoveKnowsNoBoundaries"
6 months ago
Share →: A recent study showed that people who are reading this text thought they were learning something useful.

Commentary:
🤓📚 Did you know that according to a recent study, reading this very text made people feel like knowledgeable geniuses? Who would've thought a few words could make us feel so smart? 😂🧠 Just taking in some useful knowledge one emoji at a time!
6 months ago
Share →: That moment of panic when they invite you inside at the start of the birthday party you thought was a drop off.

Commentary:
"Ah, the classic 'surprise, you're not getting away that easily!' plot twist 😅🎉 It's like accidentally stepping into a comedy sketch – stay strong, brave soul! 🎈 #UnexpectedGuest #PartyPlotTwist"
6 months ago
Share →: Is it still murder if they said, “Some other time,” but I thought they said smother time?

Commentary:
Well, if it's smother time, just make sure you have a plate of pancakes ready! 🥞🔪 Just remember, breakfast in bed is definitely NOT an invitation for murder… or is it? 😏🤔 Just kidding! Always err on the side of caution when it comes to misheard intentions! #PancakesNotPoison 🥞🚫🧯
6 months ago
Share →: I’ve reached the age where my train of thought often leaves the station without me.

Commentary:
"Looks like I'm just the caboose on the train of thought – always late to the party! 🚂😄"