Commentary:
Ah, the good old days when five bucks made me feel like a millionaire! 🤑💸
201 Funny thought quotes
Will mosquitoes ever develop a pizza obsession and end their pursuit of human blood?
Commentary:
Guess we better start stocking up on pepperoni just in case the mosquitoes decide to swap their bloodlust for a slice obsession! 🍕🦟
Not having a crush is dangerous. What am I supposed to think about? What if I invent something?
Commentary:
When you're crushless, you're one coffee away from inventing a new form of procrastination 🤔💡😂
I thought my wrinkles were finally getting smaller, but it turns out my eyes were just getting worse.
Commentary:
Looks like my vision is starting to give me a wrinkle discount! 👓😂
I never thought I would say this, and it took me a while to come to terms, but I think I ate too much bacon.
Commentary:
Looks like you've gone hog wild! Time to reel it in and give the pigs a break! 🐷🥓😂
Do crabs underwater think that fishes fly?
Commentary:
"Crabs wondering why fish have a permanent case of the zoomies! 🦀💭🐠✈️😂"
If an ice cream truck has its music on, are you supposed to pull over and let it pass like an ambulance?
Commentary:
"Yes, but only if you want to prevent a sprinkle emergency! 🚑🍦🎶"
Still holding out hope that these intrusive thoughts are just gas.
Commentary:
"When your brain's giving you anxiety and your stomach's giving you… something else. 💭💨 #MindFarts"
One time, I was so high my bra unclasped, and I thought I got shot.
Commentary:
"Sounds like a real *bust* of a night! 🤣🔫😮💨 #Bra-dventures"
I can’t blame this generation too much for doing stupid stuff. My generation thought seven Police Academy movies were a good idea.
Commentary:
"😂 Who knew our biggest crime would be watching all seven? 🚔🎬 #TimelessMistakes"