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31 Funny throw quotes

Can’t believe we used to throw eggs at houses, and now we can afford neither eggs nor houses.

2 weeks ago

The first person to throw out bath water: Uh oh.

1 month ago

Receipts are like: Take this tiny piece of paper home with you and throw it away.

3 months ago

Any time I throw up, I stare at it like I’m getting a message from the past.

3 months ago

At my funeral, take the bouquet off my casket and throw it in the crowd to see who next.

3 months ago

The Bible is 100% accurate. Especially when thrown at close range.

3 months ago

Beginning to understand why deer throw themselves in front of cars.

3 months ago

I wish I could throw tomatoes at comments.

3 months ago

We got our carpet cleaned today, so I’m just waiting for the dog to throw up.

3 months ago

“AI is coming for your jobs!” I’d like to see AI get absolutely no work done and then throw their coworker under the bus as soon as their boss asks about it.

3 months ago

Hear me out, a Q-Tip that doesn’t bounce out the trash can when you throw it away.

3 months ago

My grandfather tried to warn them about the Titanic. He screamed and shouted about the iceberg and how the ship was going to sink, but all they did was throw him out of the theater.

3 months ago

Sometimes my toddler throws stuff on the floor and then shouts “OH NO” and that’s kind of like what politicians do.

3 months ago

I don’t understand why my husband has to pay for a UFC fight when he could just throw one piece of candy on the floor in front of our kids.

3 months ago

Hey! Remember in the first grade when we were all just chilling and then some kid would throw up out of nowhere?

3 months ago

There’s a rhyming Italian expression for saying “take it or leave it” that goes “o mangi questa minestra o salti dalla finestra”. It means “either eat this soup or throw yourself out the window”.

3 months ago

When you get angry, take a breath and count to ten. Throw a punch at eight. Nobody expects that.

3 months ago

Marriages are like pancakes. Sometimes you gotta throw the first one out.

3 months ago

When I die, throw me on Mount Everest so it looks like I was trying to do something.

3 months ago

That incredible ability of cats to only throw up on carpeted floors.

3 months ago