48 funny throw quotes - Wordgag ツ

Don’t throw a relationship away just because you don’t agree with their choices, unless they wear Crocs, then it’s okay.

Feb 3, 2026

If I had a tiny girlfriend, I would love to throw her across gaps so she can pull levers and open doors that get me to her part of the level.

Feb 3, 2026

You don’t really see women throwing their boyfriend’s stuff out the window anymore.

Feb 2, 2026

At what point in not being able to sleep do I throw the towel in and have a beer, since maybe that will help?

Feb 2, 2026

Going to have a hobbit boi summer (throw a huge birthday party for myself, then mysteriously vanish right after insulting everyone).

Feb 1, 2026

Girls ask for help to open a jar, but can throw a couch during an argument.

Feb 1, 2026

During arguments with idiots, I wish I could throw a flash bang and disappear.

Feb 1, 2026

The first person to ever throw up was probably like, “Ok, what the hell.”

Feb 1, 2026

People in glass houses shouldn’t throw orgies.

Feb 1, 2026

That awkward moment when you gently throw your phone onto your bed and it decides to bounce off 3 walls, knock over a lamp, and land on the floor.

Jan 31, 2026

Can’t believe we used to throw eggs at houses, and now we can afford neither eggs nor houses.

Jan 31, 2026

The first person to throw out bath water: Uh oh.

Jan 30, 2026

Receipts are like: Take this tiny piece of paper home with you and throw it away.

Jan 29, 2026

Any time I throw up, I stare at it like I’m getting a message from the past.

Jan 29, 2026

At my funeral, take the bouquet off my casket and throw it in the crowd to see who next.

Jan 29, 2026

The Bible is 100% accurate. Especially when thrown at close range.

Jan 29, 2026

Beginning to understand why deer throw themselves in front of cars.

Jan 28, 2026

I wish I could throw tomatoes at comments.

Jan 28, 2026

We got our carpet cleaned today, so I’m just waiting for the dog to throw up.

Jan 28, 2026

“AI is coming for your jobs!” I’d like to see AI get absolutely no work done and then throw their coworker under the bus as soon as their boss asks about it.

Jan 28, 2026

Hear me out, a Q-Tip that doesn’t bounce out the trash can when you throw it away.

Jan 23, 2026

My grandfather tried to warn them about the Titanic. He screamed and shouted about the iceberg and how the ship was going to sink, but all they did was throw him out of the theater.

Jan 23, 2026

Sometimes my toddler throws stuff on the floor and then shouts “OH NO” and that’s kind of like what politicians do.

Jan 23, 2026

I don’t understand why my husband has to pay for a UFC fight when he could just throw one piece of candy on the floor in front of our kids.

Jan 23, 2026

Hey! Remember in the first grade when we were all just chilling and then some kid would throw up out of nowhere?

Jan 22, 2026

There’s a rhyming Italian expression for saying “take it or leave it” that goes “o mangi questa minestra o salti dalla finestra”. It means “either eat this soup or throw yourself out the window”.

Jan 22, 2026

When you get angry, take a breath and count to ten. Throw a punch at eight. Nobody expects that.

Jan 22, 2026

Marriages are like pancakes. Sometimes you gotta throw the first one out.

Jan 22, 2026

When I die, throw me on Mount Everest so it looks like I was trying to do something.

Jan 22, 2026

That incredible ability of cats to only throw up on carpeted floors.

Jan 22, 2026

Sorry, can’t. I took my bra off and threw it across the room an hour ago. There’s no coming back from that.

Jan 21, 2026

I wanna stand with you on a mountain and throw you into the sea, or whatever Savage Garden was on about.

Jan 21, 2026

I don’t know who is writing my story, but they got to throw in a win somewhere or put the pen down. I need a break.

Jan 21, 2026

Peter Parker having to juggle a day job with being a superhero feels kinda stupid nowadays. Just launch a Patreon, my man. Throw a PayPal link in that Spider-bio.

Jan 21, 2026

If you’re having trouble finding the match to one of your socks, throw it away and the missing one will immediately show up. Follow me for more life hacks.

Jan 21, 2026

So many songs that tell you to throw your hands in the air like you just don’t care, so few about the hazards of ceiling fans.

Jan 20, 2026

I think my leftovers are old enough to throw themselves away.

Jan 20, 2026

My husband threw away a perfectly good box as if we might not need it in 20 years.

Jan 20, 2026

Imagine being a giraffe and having to throw up.

Jan 20, 2026

Parenting is yelling ‘you just had a snack!’ over and over until you give in and throw them another snack.

Jan 20, 2026