31 Funny throw quotes

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  2 months ago

  Share →: That awkward moment when you gently throw your phone onto your bed and it decides to bounce off 3 walls, knock over a lamp, and land on the floor.

  Commentary:
  📱💥 Who knew your phone was auditioning for a role in a slapstick comedy? From acrobatics to home decor rearrangement, it's a full-on performance every time it takes a tumble! Just remember, in the world of phone physics, anything can happen – except a graceful landing on the bed! 🤹‍♂️✨

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  2 months ago

  Share →: Can’t believe we used to throw eggs at houses, and now we can afford neither eggs nor houses.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the good old days of youthful mischief and questionable financial decisions 🥚🏠 Who would've thought that our priorities would shift from eggs to mortgages so quickly! 😄 #AdultingStruggles"

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  3 months ago

  Share →: The first person to throw out bath water: Uh oh.

  Commentary:
  Looks like someone just invented the original form of "drop the mic" moment in history! 💦🛁😄 #OopsieDaisies

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Receipts are like: Take this tiny piece of paper home with you and throw it away.

  Commentary:
  "Receipts are basically just souvenirs from a quick stop at the store – reminding you of the money you've spent in the most fleeting way possible. 🧾💸♻️ #TrashTalk"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Any time I throw up, I stare at it like I’m getting a message from the past.

  Commentary:
  "Who knew that regurgitation could be a form of time travel! 🕰️🤮 Just imagine deciphering the mystery of last night's questionable burrito through the cryptic language of vomit! 😂 #ThrowUpWisdom"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: At my funeral, take the bouquet off my casket and throw it in the crowd to see who next.

  Commentary:
  "Here lies a real crowd-pleaser! 💐🎉 Who's up for catching the bouquet and continuing this wild ride of life? 😉 #FuneralGoals"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: The Bible is 100% accurate. Especially when thrown at close range.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the good ol' Bible – works wonders as a weapon AND as a spiritual guide! 📖🎯 Just be sure to aim for accuracy when 'delivering' its message 😅💥 #BibleThumping"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Beginning to understand why deer throw themselves in front of cars.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the age-old mystery of why deer have such an affinity for playing chicken with cars 🚗🦌 Perhaps they're just trying to make a quick getaway from their daily woodland commute! 🌲😆"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: I wish I could throw tomatoes at comments.

  Commentary:
  If only we could pelt virtual tomatoes at all those keyboard warriors! 🍅💥 Maybe then they'd think twice before hitting "send" 😂🤔 #TomatoJustice

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: We got our carpet cleaned today, so I’m just waiting for the dog to throw up.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the classic carpet-cleaning curse! 🤦‍♂️ It's like the dog has a sixth sense for freshly cleaned carpets… 🐶 Just waiting for that inevitable technicolor yawn now! 🤢 #PetOwnerProblems"

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