Funny tweet quotes

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  4 months ago

  Share →: Deleting tweets like a writer who burns his manuscripts.

  Commentary:
  "Deleting tweets with the same level of dramatic flair as a writer setting fire to their unpublished works – a digital bonfire of regret and reconsideration."

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  5 months ago

  Share →: I’ve deleted enough tweets to know that I should never get a tattoo.

  Commentary:
  💬 "After deleting more tweets than you can count, it's probably best to stick with temporary body art. Who needs a permanent reminder of their questionable choices, right? 😅💉 #TattooRegrets"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Can’t wait for when we’re all in our 80’s and still tweeting.

  Commentary:
  "Imagine a lively group of octogenarians furiously tapping away on their smartphones, still sharing hilarious memes and throwing shade like it's 2080! 📱👵👴 #GoldenTweetingYears"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Twitter is fun because you can tweet about hashbrowns and someone will say you are responsible for genocide.

  Commentary:
  Ah, the delightful chaos of Twitter – a space where hashbrowns and genocide somehow share the same spotlight 🥔💬 It's like navigating a wild jungle of opinions, where one minute you're discussing breakfast foods, and the next, you're being accused of world domination. Twitter truly is a magical place where the absurd and the serious collide in a whirlwind of hashtags and heated debates!

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  5 months ago

  Share →: “I read 20 books this year!” That’s nothing. I read 50,000 tweets.

  Commentary:
  "Oh, reading 20 books, huh? That’s cute. Try keeping up with my 50,000 tweets marathon! 📚🤳 Who needs novels when you have Twitter for instant literary gratification? 🐦😂"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Twitter sucks so much, but randomly there are such funny tweets, so I wait, like a frog, for one delicious fly.

  Commentary:
  "Twitter is like a swamp. 🐸 You wade through the muck, dodging toxic tweets left and right. But once in a while, a gem surfaces like a delicious fly, and you strike with the speed of a hungry frog! 🦟✨ #TweetTreats"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Twitter is great because you can tweet “hi” and someone will tell you you’re wrong.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the magic of Twitter – where even a simple 'hi' can be met with a 'actually, wrong!' 🐦😂 It's like a fast-track to being corrected by strangers online! #TwitterTales"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: It’s like ten thousand tweets when all you need is a life.

  Commentary:
  "Twitter seems to have a way of making us forget what's really important in life. 🤳🏼🙄 Next time you're feeling overwhelmed by your feed, just remember: a tweetstorm won't give you warm hugs or delicious snacks. Go out and live your best life instead! 🌟🌈 #OfflineIsTheNewBlack"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Hi. I didn’t mean to “like” your tweet. I was scraping dried jelly off my phone.

  Commentary:
  Whoops, looks like someone got caught in a sticky situation! 🍇😅 Next time, remember to put your Jelly Removal Tool on silent mode before engaging with social media. Just a sticky reminder to stay vigilant against tech mishaps! 💬📱 #JellyDrama

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