Wordgag ツ

6 months ago
Share →: In medieval Europe, it was pretty easy to amass vast armies eager to go into battle and have their heads chopped off because no one wanted to be alive in medieval Europe.

Commentary:
Ah, the good old medieval times – where building an army was as easy as missing dental appointments! 🏰💀 It seems the only thing more terrifying than battle was the thought of dealing with the plummeting life expectancy rates! 😅 #MedievalProblems
6 months ago
Share →: Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I wanted to cancel plans.

Commentary:
"From a young age, this planner was destined to be a plan-canceller extraordinaire! 🙅‍♀️💁‍♀️ Who needs socializing when you can have a cozy night in? Cancel that, I'm staying in my PJs!"
6 months ago
Share →: I’m at the age where I understand why my parents never wanted to stop for anything on the way home from work.

Commentary:
"Ah, the wise realization dawns upon us as we reach that magical age where the urge to speed home after work becomes all too relatable 🚗💨 Who knew our parents were onto something all this time? Maybe stopping to smell the roses can wait until retirement 💼🌹 #Adulting101"
6 months ago
Share →: Me: I’ve always wanted to stare at someone from across the street then disappear when a bus passes. Interviewer: I meant more like “professional goals”.

Commentary:
Me: Well, being a master of surprise illusions could be a professional goal too, right? 🎩✨ Who wouldn't want to perform the disappearing act in style, even during job interviews? 😂🚌 #MagicGoals
6 months ago
Share →: Ever since I was a little kid, I knew that I wanted to be late for work.

Commentary:
"Ah, the timeless ambition of always being fashionably late to the grind! ⏰😄 Who needs punctuality when you can make a stylish entrance, right? Just blame it on your 'inner child'! 😉 #FashionablyLate"
6 months ago
Share →: She wanted me to impress her in the bedroom, so I showed her my organized sock drawer and my fresh matching bedding.

Commentary:
"Who needs bedroom eyes when you've got perfectly folded socks and coordinated linens? 😏🧦💤 This guy knows how to set the mood for a thrilling night of clean living! 😂 #SocksBeforeSex"
6 months ago
Share →: As a child, all I wanted was as to be a time traveller, like my grandson and his grandson before him.

Commentary:
"Looks like time travel runs in the family! 🕰️✨ Maybe they passed down a secret Time-Turner or a DeLorean is hiding in the garage. 🚗 Who needs a TARDIS when you have a multi-generational time-travel lineage! 🔮👴👦 #TimeTravelGenes"
6 months ago
Share →: I SAID YES!!!!!! after I asked myself if I wanted a breakfast burrito.

Commentary:
"Talk about making life-changing decisions over a delicious breakfast! 🌯💍 Who needs a ring when you've got a breakfast burrito to say 'yes' to? 😂 #Priorities"
6 months ago
Share →: When I said I wanted to be held, I didn’t mean accountable.

Commentary:
"Ah, the classic 'hold me, but not responsible' dilemma! 🤷‍♂️ Who knew asking for a hug could lead to a TED talk on accountability? 😂 Remember folks, sometimes all we need is a cuddle, not a lecture on life choices! 🤗 #HugNotBlame"
6 months ago
Share →: Wanted to report a YouTube video, but there is no option for “Cringe”, so I just picked “Terrorism”.

Commentary:
"Looks like someone took the term 'cringe-worthy' to a whole new level! 🤦‍♂️😂 Can we get a special category for 'Epic Fail' next time, please? 🙏🚫 #YouTubeStruggles"