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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

The web is the only place where you encourage strangers to follow you. What could possibly go wrong?

Someone from 🇱🇦 has shared:

A Twitter swear jar could end world hunger.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has viewed:

There’s a fat man inside me dying to get out.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has copied:

If you can’t handle me at my weirdest, then leave, because it gets weirder.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has copied:

If you think my posts are horrid, wait until you see the live stream of my colonoscopy.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has viewed:

My sleeping pattern ain’t even a pattern anymore, it’s a freestyle that’s on shuffle.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has copied:

Slim Shady implies the existence of Thicc Sunny.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has copied:

The funniest thing about Batman is that he legitimately doesn’t give a shit about crime that happens during the day.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has shared:

A moth is just a butterfly with glasses and its hair up.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has viewed:

Fancy restaurants are self-esteem destroyers because good luck not leaving an embarrassing stain on the white table cloth. Ever.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,444

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on WeChat:

“Who does she think she is?” Well, it appears she is someone living her life unconcerned with who you think she is.

Trending via Facebook:

Want to know what someone is really like? Play Monopoly with them.

Spotted on Facebook:

Hate Google’s Gemini. If I wanted to get misinformation from a Gemini, I’d talk to my mother.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

You only realize how heavy your handbag really is when your car tells you that your passenger is not wearing a seatbelt.

Just landed via Twitch:

I’m currently on a really effective diet called “I only have twenty dollars until payday”.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

A fun thing to do at work is call in sick and stay home.

Just landed via Telegram:

Your phone is a casino designed to steal your time.

Trending via Pinterest:

This can’t be the same body that used to be able to stay up all night.

Making waves on YouTube:

For a guy with no reflection, Dracula’s eyeliner is always flawless.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Sometimes I want to sleep, but my brain decides to do a little tap dance through every mistake I’ve ever made, instead.

129 Funny weekend quotes

Funny weekend quotes capture the joy and humor of our favorite two days of the week! 🗓️😂 From playful takes on relaxation and adventures to witty observations about the weekend’s quirks, these quotes celebrate the lighter side of our time off. Enjoy a laugh and make the most of your weekend! 😄🎉

New funny weekend quotes 👇

For even more funny weekend quotes, hit next 👇

All funny weekend quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

47 shares on Instagram this month:

Really just want to meet someone who knows what songs not to talk over.

78 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Do men know they don’t have to keep their clothing until it disintegrates?

83 shares on Pinterest this month:

Group projects in school weren’t meant to teach you teamwork, they were meant to teach you how to deal with the incompetence of your coworkers in the workplace.

20 shares on WhatsApp this month:

When I was a kid, I had to walk to Netflix.

65 shares on Threads this month:

“Can you multitask?” Yes, actually I am losing my mind and chilling at the same time.

83 shares on Twitch this month:

There’s no way you could go all the way through the desert on a horse with no name, you’d have named it by the end.

51 shares on Threads this month:

Having to write cover letters is so dumb. Do you really believe my dream ever since I was a little girl was to work for you? No. It was to ride a pony on a funky space rainbow. Grow up.

70 shares on Discord this month:

Someone should bite my inner thighs just to see what type of noises I make. For science.

45 shares on Reddit this month:

One of the main reasons to drink tea is because you can say, ‘Let me put the kettle on,’ and stuff like that.

67 shares on WeChat this month:

I’ve just told my doctor I have all the Monkey Pox symptoms. He asked me to swing by tomorrow.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Stretching is not enough. I need to be rolled through a pasta machine.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Blocking isn’t enough, I hope your pillow never has a cold side.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Planking is the only time we appreciate time.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Men are like dogs. They’re actually cute, but having my own would be too much work for me.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Please don’t be mean to me, because I can be meaner and I hate being mean.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I accidentally poured vodka on my orange juice this morning. Twice.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Apparently, when you treat people like they treat you, they get upset.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m full of rage, but in a very chill and nonchalant way.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I am “any text received after 9pm will be answered at 6am” years old.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

My wife bought new towels and they’re different colors, so I know the entire color scheme of my house is about to change.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,245

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇧 has downloaded:

No plans and no pants kind of day.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

‘Tis the season to wrap objects in colorful paper with the fine motor skills of a T-Rex.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has viewed:

My boyfriend talks to everyone while I stand by quietly, planning my escape.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has bookmarked:

Some women seated next to me are gossiping in French. They obviously think I’m some dumb American who doesn’t speak French and they are correct.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has downloaded:

Old Spice doesn’t sound like something you wanna smell.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has bookmarked:

I ghost family members too, so believe me, bro — it’s not personal.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has viewed:

At a job interview: think of me as the rightful heir to the throne.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has downloaded:

We can do things two ways. My way or the right way.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has shared:

My thighs are bigger than my chances in life.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has bookmarked:

It’s not my job to tell people where they’re failing in life. It’s just a hobby.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Instagram:

If I had 50¢ for every math test I’ve failed, I’d have $7.20.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

Home is where you trust the toilet seat.

Seen just now on Discord:

I deleted Google when I met you because the search was over.

Just landed via Messenger:

The thing I’ve always found tricky about money is knowing how much I should have.

Making waves on Twitch:

Lately I have the attention span of wait what?

Seen just now on Telegram:

Not to brag but I don’t even need alcohol to make really bad decisions.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Fleetwood Mac said that I could go my own way, your honor.

Shared recently on Messenger:

In the event of a water landing, place the life jacket over your head and swipe your credit card to inflate.

Going bananas on YouTube:

The hardest part of corporate life is pretending to care about things that don’t matter.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Automated phone system: To speak to a representative, please enter the first twelve digits of pi.

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