Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡©πŸ‡ͺ has bookmarked:

If a portal opened up in front of me, I’d go inβ€”no questions asked.

Someone from πŸ‡―πŸ‡΄ has copied:

Women only want one thing and it is to walk down a dimly-lit cobblestone street with the devil.

Someone from πŸ‡»πŸ‡ͺ has copied:

They say money can’t buy happiness, but could someone just give me a lot of it and let me see for myself?

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡Ή has shared:

The train announcer just said we should keep our personal belongings with us at all times but I’ve left most of mine at home.

Someone from πŸ‡«πŸ‡· has downloaded:

I am one step away from being rich, all I need now is money.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡Ό has shared:

Am I just an Untitled Document to you?

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡· has copied:

Someone asked me how much I spend on a bottle of wine. 30 minutes was not the right answer.

Someone from πŸ‡·πŸ‡Ί has shared:

Sorry I was late, I was frantically applying to other jobs.

Someone from πŸ‡­πŸ‡³ has downloaded:

I can’t wait until I’m old enough to pretend I can’t hear.

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡― has copied:

Wealthy person who has no problems and also meditates sometimes: Meditation is my secret weapon.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Updated

Dec 27, 2025

Users Online

3,766

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Going bananas on X:

I see why history can repeat itself. People are really stupid.

Making waves on Twitch:

Whoever named frogs got it 100% right. Those things are frogs.

Spotted on Discord:

Whenever I feel like I hate my job, I remind myself that I could be a food taster for the emperor.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Called off work. Feeling fat and wearing jeans.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

I’m actually really peace-loving, but then there are other people.

Going viral on WeChat:

Let’s draft everyone who has their phone on military time first, since you’re all so eager.

Freshly posted on Slack:

I can’t believe that it’s our turn to give money to our nephews and nieces.

Just landed via X:

The Pope is the only employee who never gets to see his boss. Not even at the Christmas party.

Seen just now on YouTube:

My only regret is not leaving people alone the first time they moved funny.

Trending via Pinterest:

I think it’s very sexy of me to still move with love in a world like this.

Home Β» Funny Weekend Quotes

125 Funny weekend quotes

Funny weekend quotes capture the joy and humor of our favorite two days of the week! πŸ—“οΈπŸ˜‚ From playful takes on relaxation and adventures to witty observations about the weekend’s quirks, these quotes celebrate the lighter side of our time off. Enjoy a laugh and make the most of your weekend! πŸ˜„πŸŽ‰

New funny weekend quotes πŸ‘‡

For even more funny weekend quotes, hit next πŸ‘‡

All funny weekend quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes πŸ‘Œ

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! πŸ˜‰βœŒοΈ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. πŸ˜‚πŸ’₯

πŸŽπŸŽ…πŸŽ„ Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

70 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Mud season creeps up on us every year, destroying hearts and minds as well as light grey carpeting.

65 shares on Snapchat this month:

I’ve convinced myself bumblebees don’t sting because they’re too fluffy and cute.

36 shares on Discord this month:

Three words no parent ever wants to hear when dropping their kid at a play date: β€œCome on in.”

60 shares on Pinterest this month:

Can somebody explain to me why it’s bad if immigrants take our jobs, but it’s good if AI does?

60 shares on Facebook this month:

The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was making all of the food that is unhealthy for you taste so good.

58 shares on Telegram this month:

Who you are before you have your coffee is the real you.

70 shares on Slack this month:

8 planets, 204 countries, thousands of islands, 7 seas, 8 billion people, and I’m single.

82 shares on Snapchat this month:

One of the keys to happiness is a bad memory.

38 shares on Facebook this month:

Wishing I could hit snooze on life’s alarm clock!

90 shares on Pinterest this month:

Eating spaghetti to forgetti my regretti.

Trending Topics πŸ“

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes πŸ’₯

5 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I was actually about to do a workout when the couch threw itself protectively under me.

21 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

β€œInconvenience is the cost of community,” I repeat to myself as I climb six flights of stairs for my friend’s birthday party for her cat.

23 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Nosferatu 2024, Frankenstein 2025, and Werwulf 2026. I was born at exactly the right time.

12 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Never trust a man that’s good at flirting. He’s had too much practice.

25 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

My daughter says I’m making it up! Do you remember having to carry a quarter for the payphone, just in case?

22 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

My superpower is wasting time I don’t even have.

25 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Gonna get my eye looked at today. Usually it’s the other way around.

24 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I’m exactly where I want to be. At home, avoiding people.

22 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

It’s never too early to be sad about having to work the next day.

22 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I’m pretty sure my husband’s favorite sound is the oven range fan turning on when I start making dinner.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Updated

Dec 27, 2025

Users Online

4,067

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡―πŸ‡² has copied:

God: “I genuinely don’t remember making you all this stupid.”

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡ͺ has viewed:

Imagine how loud a centipede would be if they wore tiny little flip flops.

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡© has copied:

Grok, is this true? Grok, am I original? Grok, am I the only one? Grok, am I sexual?

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡¦ has downloaded:

I’m at the age where an uncomfortable bed will have me injured for a couple of days.

Someone from πŸ‡°πŸ‡· has bookmarked:

Some people don’t have a permanent handwriting. It depends on their mood and the pen they use.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡Ή has bookmarked:

Has someone told the whales that they can’t sing?

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡± has shared:

Saturdays are for doing absolutely everything or doing absolutely nothing, everybody knows that.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡» has bookmarked:

Peer pressure has nothing on me; all my bad decisions are made single-handedly.

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡Ή has downloaded:

Not having to bring my backpack to the last day of elementary school was the last time I truly felt free.

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡΄ has downloaded:

Shazam, but for whatever the hell goes on in the apartment upstairs.

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Breaking via Facebook:

I have more trips planned than I have money.

Going viral on Reddit:

If you like water, you already like 72% of me.

Shared recently on Slack:

One sec, lemme just find the off switch for my brain.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

Shoutout to my kids because they aren’t listening!

Broadcasted on Reddit:

Some of these fake tans look like an old Tupperware container that’s had marinara sauce in it.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

Rabbits jump and they live for 8 years. Dogs run and they live for 15 years. Turtles do nothing and live for 150 years. Lesson learned.

Spotted on Slack:

Remember when you were a kid, you slept on the couch and without saying anything you found yourself in your bed. Now you sleep in your bed and if you say anything, you end up on the couch.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

Films and television have led me to believe that masquerade balls have a higher mortality rate than most wars.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Spotify Wrapped? Next year, maybe you should try to be in the top .05% of listeners to your girlfriend.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

December, give me a sweet ending for this year please.

Β© 2025. All rights reserved.

Made with ❀️ in Sydney β˜€οΈπŸŒ΄