129 funny weekend quotes - Page 2 - Wordgag

The first five days after the weekend are always the hardest.

May 20, 2026

My mom and all her opinions are visiting this weekend.

May 20, 2026

If you give a man a fish, he’ll eat for a day. But if you teach a man to fish, you’ll get the house to yourself on Saturdays.

May 20, 2026

Good morning, did you have a nice weekend? I ask my many open work tabs.

May 19, 2026

The day your kids stop waking up early on the weekend is the same day your body stops letting you sleep in.

May 19, 2026

Why is 4-8 p.m. on a Sunday the most depressing time ever?

May 19, 2026

Sometimes you just need a Saturday to sleep all day and do absolutely nothing.

May 19, 2026

I don’t understand people who do things on weekends. You just did things all week. What’s next, more things? That’s how they get you.

May 19, 2026

The best plans on a Friday night are no plans.

May 19, 2026

Going out on Friday night will always be better than going out on a Saturday night.

May 19, 2026

Someone needs to press pause on this weekend.

May 19, 2026

Weekends now feel like short commercial breaks in a stressful movie.

May 19, 2026

Nothing ruins your weekend faster than remembering Monday is lurking in the shadows.

May 19, 2026

“You’re not allowed to be grumpy on a Friday, it’s in the fine print somewhere.”

May 19, 2026

It’s the weekend, so naturally, I’m going to spend 48 hours doing nothing, and still be exhausted.

May 18, 2026May 18, 2026

I’m done wasting money this summer, unless you guys want to do something this weekend.

May 18, 2026

It’s not a Sunday unless you completely waste it and then feel sad around 8 p.m.

May 18, 2026

Sorry, I can’t go out this weekend. I went out last weekend, and I’m still recovering from that.

May 18, 2026

Have a good weekend, unless you have other plans.

May 18, 2026

Sunday should be 48 hours instead of 24. I need more time to be ready for Monday.

Apr 1, 2026

It’s finally actually Saturday after just thinking it was Saturday every day for the last five days.

Apr 1, 2026

Don’t really want to have 6-8 pints and a takeaway tonight, but it’s Friday and rules are rules.

Apr 1, 2026

A weekend in a log cabin with a hot tub sounds perfect right now.

Apr 1, 2026

Everyone loves a little silent treatment on the weekend.

Apr 1, 2026

If anyone wants to sponsor me, I’ll be running a 0.002K this weekend to raise awareness for laziness.

Apr 1, 2026

“This is a great weekend to clean out the garage,” according to my wife and other people who won’t be cleaning the garage.

Apr 1, 2026

Every Friday, I’m like, “This weekend I’m getting my life together,” and then… I don’t.

Apr 1, 2026

The week be like Mooonnnday, Tueeesday, Weeeeednesday, Thuuuuursday, FriSatSun

Apr 1, 2026

Paid my rent and slept in every room of my house this week, kitchen and laundry room next.

Mar 31, 2026

Sunday should be 48 hours instead of 24 hours, I need more time to be ready for Monday.

Mar 31, 2026

Not to upset anyone, but Monday is waiting outside.

Mar 31, 2026

Saturday Night Fever, but it’s just me yelling, “Five, six, seven, eight!” while my cat lies down and refuses to participate.

Mar 31, 2026

No, I am not refreshed from my long weekend. I was reminded that I am not meant to work, but I am trapped in The Machine.

Mar 31, 2026

It’s never too early to be sad about having to work the next day.

Mar 31, 2026

Whatever happened calorically this weekend can never happen again.

Mar 31, 2026

Sundays are weird. You want to relax, but your brain’s like, “Shouldn’t you be panicking about something?”

Mar 31, 2026

Why does the weekend always feel like it lasts five minutes?

Mar 31, 2026

I need to go back to Friday. I want to do my weekend differently.

Mar 31, 2026

Sometimes all you need is a Saturday to sleep, eat, and do absolutely nothing else all day.

Mar 31, 2026

I wait all week for the weekend just to aggressively do nothing in five different outfits.

Mar 31, 2026