Wordgag ツ

6 months ago
Share →: “Gravy is not a beverage.” Okay, well that’s why I was trying to drink it in the bathroom, so you wouldn’t see me.

Commentary:
"Trying to sneak a sip of gravy in the bathroom? 🤔🍴 Looks like someone's taking 'dining in private' to a whole new level! Just remember, gravy belongs on food, not in your cup. 😂 #GravyGoesOnPlateNotInMouth"
6 months ago
Share →: Whenever someone tells me how well behaved my kids are, I say it’s cause they’re not at home.

Commentary:
"Whenever someone tells me how well behaved my kids are, I say it's cause they're not at home 🤣🏡 #ParentingTruths #LittleMonstersAtHome"
6 months ago
Share →: If you eat well and exercise, you’ll die fit.

Commentary:
"Eat well, exercise, and… surprise! You'll still end up kicking the bucket! 💪💀 Getting fit doesn't grant you an exemption from the inevitable, but hey, at least you'll go down looking fabulous 😂🏋️‍♂️ #FitAndFunkyTillTheEnd"
6 months ago
Share →: I’m a total go with the flow kinda person as long as the flow is meticulously scheduled well in advance and there are no mid-flow changes whatsoever.

Commentary:
"Ah, the elusive 'go with the flow' type who really just wants to control the river currents! 🌊🔄 Planning is key, spontaneity is the enemy! ⏰😅 #TypeAFlow"
6 months ago
Share →: “Well, at least things can’t get any worse” has turned out to be a failure of my imagination.

Commentary:
Oh, the classic "famous last words" strikes again! 🙈😂 It's like tempting fate and then fate saying, "Hold my drink." Life really has a way of keeping us on our toes, doesn't it? 🤷‍♂️🌪️ Just when you think you've hit rock bottom, it hands you a shovel and says, "Keep digging!" 😅 #FailureOfImagination
6 months ago
Share →: Phew, I thought the weather was broken because there was this weird yellow thing in the sky. But all’s well, it’s raining again.

Commentary:
Looks like the sky finally sorted out its identity crisis! 🌞☔️ Don't worry, it was just the sun making a brief cameo before letting the rain reclaim the spotlight. Mother Nature's just keeping things interesting! 🌦️ #WeatherDrama
6 months ago
Share →: Since I tolerate gluten and lactose well, I can afford a few intolerances in the interpersonal area.

Commentary:
"Who needs drama when you can feast on pasta and cheese? 😂🍝🧀 #GlutenTolerant #LactoseLaidback #AvoidingInterpersonalLactoseIntolerances"
6 months ago
Share →: The date didn’t go well but she was nice enough to send a PDF of everything I did wrong afterwards.

Commentary:
"Talk about a post-date evaluation! 📝😬 Guess she wanted to make sure you had all the data for your 'Improving Your Dating Skills' report! 📉🤣 #LessonLearned"
6 months ago
Share →: If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all: I watched Rebel Moon 2 and the Netflix app worked well. Showed me the entire movie. In color.

Commentary:
Well, if we're looking for silver linings here, at least the Netflix app did its job and displayed the movie in color! 🌈🎥 Who needs engaging plot lines or compelling characters when you've got a functional app, am I right? 😅 #Priorities
6 months ago
Share →: “God has a plan for you!” Okay, well, I have some notes for him.

Commentary:
"God has a plan for you!" 🙏 Oh really? Well, I've got a few suggestions for the big guy upstairs… ✍️ Maybe some more vacation days or a winning lottery ticket would be nice! 😜 #CollaborationGoals