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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇶🇦 has downloaded:

My biggest fear is waking up and being in the Renaissance era or something. Imagine having the knowledge of hot dogs but lacking the tools to make them.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has shared:

I’m nervous that my diet pill will stick in my throat, so I usually eat a few cookies after to help push it down.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has bookmarked:

Socks teach us that being made for each other does not mean being together.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has viewed:

You either get a kid who eats like a bottomless pit, or you get one that when asked what they want for lunch answers “No thanks, I had lunch yesterday.”

Someone from 🇳🇱 has shared:

Wearing shorts and my pale legs screamed at the sensation of sunlight like vampires.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has copied:

Me, as a therapist: “OMG, me too!”

Someone from 🇰🇮 has shared:

You should get a pension for having to go to school for so many years.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has downloaded:

I’m so old, I used to block people by simply holding the door shut.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has shared:

Please don’t tell me how bad your life was growing up; we had to manually roll up our cars’ windows.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has viewed:

I can’t believe she picked her husband, her boyfriend and her other boyfriend over me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

786 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,948

Funny Quotes Topics

13,918

Funny Quotes Images

10,948

Updated

3 minutes ago

Users Online

3,431

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Slack:

I told my psychiatrist I’ve been hearing voices lately. He told me I don’t have a psychiatrist.

Just landed via Instagram:

If you don’t laugh at my jokes then I will.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

Save money by accidentally forgetting your wallet at home. Follow me for more financial tips and tricks.

Shared recently on Threads:

You’re never too old or too stupid to become older and stupider.

Live now on LinkedIn:

Deciding if I should heal or just give up and go completely insane.

Spotted on TikTok:

The Cranberries. Great band name. You pick a fruit and you get to work.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

The trick is to be born in the right place and at the right time. If you mess that up, it gets tedious.

Making waves on Pinterest:

My house was clean yesterday. Sorry, you missed it.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.

Just landed via Discord:

I mostly choose to stay silent in weird situations but my face has subtitles.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

786 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,948

Funny Quotes Topics

13,918

Funny Quotes Images

10,948

Updated

3 minutes ago

Users Online

3,416

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇦 has copied:

The cynicism of those who urge me not to do what I can to help the Nigerian royal family.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has viewed:

If a ham is allowed to spiral then so am I.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has downloaded:

That awkward shopping moment when someone is standing in front of the items you need and you pretend you’re shopping for something else because they just won’t budge.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has downloaded:

The purpose of a meme is to disturb the humorless, and to humor the disturbed.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has bookmarked:

Driving a newer car is like “Oh weird, this one doesn’t have Shake on Highway, maybe they stopped making that feature”.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has bookmarked:

The worst part of getting struck by lightning is everyone seeing your skeleton.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has copied:

Everybody say a little prayer for my husband, he just told me to calm down.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has viewed:

My life would be pointless without cheese. Or as the famous song goes: “Ain’t no sunshine when cheese gone!”

Someone from 🇳🇮 has viewed:

Who called it a deep freeze instead of ice-o-lation?

Someone from 🇦🇿 has bookmarked:

My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Reddit:

I don’t have read receipts on my phone because why would I tell on myself like that?

Going viral on Pinterest:

One thing that could really “level-up” the experience of being a pedestrian would be if cars had some kind of feature that could indicate whether or not they were going to turn in a particular direction.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

How dare this person in traffic hold me up for seconds on the way to a place that doesn’t require my immediate presence?

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I read classics because my FOMO is making me want to understand every reference ever.

Reported on LinkedIn:

Love when plans get canceled. It’s like getting a snow day as an adult.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

When I say I’m Christmas shopping the “for myself” is silent.

Making waves on X:

I hope your spoon slides into your soup.

Making waves on Telegram:

Hey! (with the intention of going back to sleep)

Spreading quickly via Slack:

Please don’t tell me how bad your life was growing up, we had to manually roll up our car windows.

Just landed via TikTok:

People pass a joint around like it’s no big deal, but the minute I ask someone to do that with their Subway sandwich, I’m a weirdo.

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