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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇻 has copied:

When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has bookmarked:

Someone asked me what my hobby was and I realized that my favorite hobby is doing absolutely nothing.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has copied:

If you’re out shopping today, be nice to retail workers. It’s not their fault you waited until Marys waters broke before you started your shopping.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has downloaded:

Going to ask seven friends for advice and then execute my original plan.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has copied:

Public urination isn’t a crime if you do it in your pants.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has downloaded:

The worst part of online shopping is having to get up and get your card out of your wallet.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has bookmarked:

In my 20s: I’m gonna live forever! In my 40s: uh oh!

Someone from 🇲🇺 has downloaded:

I can’t explain how it works, but one day, you just wake up and like sauerkraut.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has copied:

If my toddler doesn’t sleep again tonight, I’m running away into the forest.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has shared:

Before you call me an idiot consider this: I know!

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2326 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,488

Funny Quotes Topics

15,192

Funny Quotes Images

12,488

56 minutes ago

3,448

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Twitch:

I’m doing a terrific job of not getting anything done today.

Breaking via Threads:

There is nothing like a little tomato soup to soothe the soul, even if it’s cold, over ice, with a celery stalk and vodka.

Freshly posted on Slack:

You’re 25, stressing like you’re 40, because you want to be rich before 30, am I right?

Spotted on TikTok:

Messed up and threw a surprise party for my minimalist friend. Now 25 of us are hiding behind the granite orb.

Spotted on YouTube:

Any room can be a bathroom if you hate the person who’s house you’re in.

Going viral on Twitch:

I broke up with the gym. We were just not working out.

Just landed via Pinterest:

If i say “morning!” to you, it does not mean “good morning”, I am merely exclaiming in horror that it is morning.

Trending via Threads:

The global energy crisis could be solved if only we could harness the power of my wife slamming my car door.

Trending via YouTube:

Many people mistake me for an adult because of my age.

Live now on WeChat:

No matter how bad your day seems, just remember that someone out there has line danced to Achy Breaky Heart.

Home » Funny Wisely Quotes

Funny wisely quotes

New funny wisely quotes 👇

5 months ago
Share →: Time is precious, waste it wisely.

Commentary:
"Time is like a limited edition chocolate – savor it, enjoy it, and make sure you don't accidentally drop it on the floor. Because let's face it, no one wants to waste precious time picking up a chocolate-covered mess… unless it's a really good chocolate!"

For even more funny wisely quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny wisely quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2326 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,488

Funny Quotes Topics

15,192

Funny Quotes Images

12,488

56 minutes ago

3,437

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇸 has shared:

Two of the best things in life are laughing and orgasms. I want to make you do both a lot.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has copied:

It’s so hot, I just saw a squirrel fanning its nuts.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has bookmarked:

Voice messages. Just call, goddamnit!

Someone from 🇨🇺 has downloaded:

How long do you actually have to wear a muscle shirt until you get muscles?

Someone from 🇺🇬 has downloaded:

Due to personal reasons, I’m evil now.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has shared:

I bought a watermelon and all I can think about is filling it with vodka.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has shared:

Once you find a pair of pants that fit you perfectly, it’s over for all your other pants.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has downloaded:

If you think someone has put a spell on you, send me $500 and I’ll get rid of it.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has shared:

I would cry but my makeup is too expensive.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has viewed:

Silicon Valley has taken over the world. Remember when nerds had the good manners to be ashamed of themselves?

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Instagram:

I have so much planned today that I was already tired thinking of it yesterday.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Getting my next boyfriend a flip phone. He doesn’t need anything more.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

When someone yells stop I don’t know whether it’s in the name of love, it’s Hammer time, or I should smell the flowers.

Making waves on TikTok:

A.I. should be forced to wait tables before it’s allowed to make art.

Spotted on WeChat:

The way people who are really into each other look moments before kissing is so hot. It’s like seeing a glimpse of cannibalism.

Just shared via TikTok:

This weekend was so busy, I hardly had time to sit around in my pajamas and doom scroll.

Trending via Threads:

Sometimes I do random acts of kindness, like keeping my mouth shut, for example.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Spoiler alert: Monday doesn’t care about your feelings.

Spotted on X:

Yeah, I have a drinking problem. It’s called dehydration.

Making waves on Messenger:

I will die on this hill or any hill really. I have no hill preference.

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