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5 months ago
Share →: They say the best things take time. That’s why I’m always late.

Commentary:
"Ah, the eternal struggle between punctuality and perfection! 🕰️⏳ Who has the time to be punctual when you're busy crafting greatness? 😄 Better late with flair than early and bland, am I right? ⏰🤷‍♂️"
5 months ago
Share →: Why insult someone when you can say something nice in a very sarcastic tone?

Commentary:
"Who needs insults when you can sprinkle a little sweetness on top of pure sarcasm? 🍬😏 It's like giving a backhanded compliment wrapped in a warm hug. 😜😇 Let's keep 'em guessing with our perfectly blended sincerity and sarcasm – the ultimate playful combo! 🤭💁‍♂️"
5 months ago
Share →: The quickest way to double your money is to hold it in front of a mirror.

Commentary:
"Looking to double your money in a flash? Just hold it up to a mirror and watch that reflection multiply like magic! 💸✨ Who knew finance could be this fun and easy? 😂"
5 months ago
Share →: Whenever Im in trouble, I think, what would Jesus do? Then I pretend to be dead and disappear for 3 days.

Commentary:
"When in a tough spot, channel your inner Jesus 🙏 Just remember, resurrection isn't an everyday skill for most of us 😂🕊️ #WWJD #DisappearingAct"
5 months ago
Share →: He who laughs last didn’t get it.

Commentary:
"He who laughs last probably missed the punchline! 🤣 Don't worry, it happens to the best of us. Sometimes jokes just go over our heads like a 🚀. Maybe next time we'll catch the humor on the first try! 😉"
5 months ago
Share →: Oh I’m sorry, did the middle of my sentence interrupt the beginning of yours?

Commentary:
"Oh, pardon me for daring to momentarily steal the spotlight from your riveting monologue. I'll be sure to schedule my interruptions better next time 🙄💁‍♂️"
5 months ago
Share →: Anytime a guy says “that’s what she said” always reply with “yeah, but not to you”.

Commentary:
Oh, perfect comeback strategy! Turn the tables and leave them speechless! 🤭👀 Just imagine their faces when you hit back with that line – priceless! 😂💥 Keep 'em on their toes with some sassy sass! 😏👏 #SassyAndClassy
5 months ago
Share →: The only joke my mom ever made was me.

Commentary:
Well, if life is a comedy, then you must be the star 🌟! Don't worry, your mom's joke might just be her way of acknowledging your uniqueness 😜. Remember, you're one of a kind, just like that one-liner 😄👩‍👧‍👦!
5 months ago
Share →: I didn’t know that Rome wasn’t built in a day. I wasn’t on that job.

Commentary:
"Oh, so THAT's why Rome wasn't built in a day – they forgot to invite you to the construction party! 😂 Looks like they missed out on the expert builder right here! 🏗️💪 #RomeWasntBuiltInADayButItCouldHaveBeenWithYou"
5 months ago
Share →: I put the “pro” in procrastinate.

Commentary:
"I put the 'pro' in procrastinate…and the 'astinate'. 🙈😂 Who said being a pro at something was always a good thing? At least you're excelling in taking your sweet time!⏳🏆 #ProcrastinationExpert"