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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇭 has downloaded:

Twitter is basically a psychiatric ward where all the patients diagnose each other.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has shared:

Some 100 private jets will fly to Venice for Jeff Bezos’ wedding, and I recycle yoghurt cup lids.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has downloaded:

Letting my wife sleep in a little longer for Mother’s Day before we wake her up and ask what’s for breakfast.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has bookmarked:

I’ve noticed that when young people now talk about “old people”, they mean me.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has copied:

I hate it when I imagine how a conversation will go and then in the actual conversation the person goes off script. That’s not your line, man.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has viewed:

Welcome to Netflix. We have every movie but the one you actually want to watch.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has bookmarked:

Can someone please help me, I’m still at the Fyre Festival.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has downloaded:

At the age where a big break could mean either my career or a hip.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has shared:

Golf would be more exciting to watch if they played naked.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has downloaded:

It was a complicated 17-hour surgery, but they finally managed to separate the art from the artist.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2249 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,411

Funny Quotes Topics

15,118

Funny Quotes Images

12,411

Updated

1 hour ago

Users Online

3,429

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Discord:

Can we call situationships ‘affairs’ again? It sounds more adult and less desperate.

Shared recently on Threads:

The moment when I drop my phone, but my fast reflexes slam it into a bloody wall.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

When I say I like when older men tell me what to do, I am talking about Yoda and his teachings.

Trending via WeChat:

Of course I intermittently fast. That’s when I sleep.

Shared recently on X:

Tuah Kill a Hawkingbird

Spotted on Messenger:

Have you noticed? When the relationship is new, the guy is never busy.

Making waves on Discord:

I love when I come home, I put on my Adam Sandler clothes.

Freshly posted on Discord:

“But it’s summer,” is going to be my excuse for everything from now until the end of September.

Seen just now on WeChat:

There’s a great new book on minimalism but I only read the blurb because I believe that’s what the author would want.

Just shared via Instagram:

My favorite thing to do on the weekend is not leave my house.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2249 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,411

Funny Quotes Topics

15,118

Funny Quotes Images

12,411

Updated

1 hour ago

Users Online

3,440

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇦 has shared:

Looking forward to eight hours of trying to get four hours of sleep tonight.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has copied:

Facebook is like a never-ending high school reunion.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has viewed:

Drivers seem to underestimate how willing I am to get knocked down at a zebra crossing to prove a point.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has copied:

I don’t know much, but I do know melancholia is a way cooler diagnosis than depression.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has downloaded:

Parenting a teenager is surreal because you’ll be sitting there, and some dude who is much taller than you will walk around the corner and ask you how to open a popcorn bag.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has viewed:

We are both insane on the web, I think we can make it work.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has copied:

A recent study showed that people who are reading this text thought they were learning something useful.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has copied:

I get it, credit cards, I’ve reached my limit too.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has copied:

Ironically, the Internet was invented to save time.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has viewed:

Outside letting mosquitoes get some of this.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Pinterest:

It’s unbelievable how much work goes into having a mid-physique and a relatively clean house.

Shared recently on Twitch:

My bad for thinking everyone has common sense.

Trending via Slack:

I’m either at work, going to work, coming home from work, sleeping for work, getting ready for work, or thinking about work.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Relationship rule: If the woman has told something and the man doesn’t remember, the man hasn’t listened. If the man has told something and the woman doesn’t remember, the man has never told it.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I know that we aren’t supposed to self diagnose but I’ve googled all of my symptoms and I’m fairly sure I’m a raccoon.

Freshly posted on Threads:

My only plan for this weekend is to move just enough so the people don’t think I’m dead.

Spotted on YouTube:

If you need me, I will be at the library sniffing old books.

Making waves on Discord:

I don’t have a yoga mat, but I have a Twister mat, and it’s the same thing.

Broadcasted on Slack:

Dear sleep, I’m sorry we broke up this morning. I want you back!

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Bold of me to constantly use the phrase “no worries!” when I am, in fact, constantly full of many worries.

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