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Someone from 🇸🇲 has viewed:

When younger I would walk up to the counter and the bartender would know me by name. Now it’s my pharmacist.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has copied:

I’m sorry, but I already have an A.I. boyfriend.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

Went on a date with a guy who didn’t ask me any questions about myself, so it’s on him when he finds out about my husband.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has shared:

Maybe your dog is barking at my luggage because he doesn’t enjoy his job, officer.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has copied:

When I said I wanted to be held, I didn’t mean accountable.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has bookmarked:

Being an adult is realizing $1000 is little money to have, but a lot to owe.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has copied:

Elections is like waiting for the results of a biopsy, except half your family hopes it’s cancer.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has bookmarked:

I wasn’t planning on moving, but I was just invited to the neighborhood fall potluck, so I guess now I have no choice.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has downloaded:

Everything will kill you so pick something fun.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has bookmarked:

Be the one that gets asked to remove the hockey mask, during a conference call, on Friday the 13th.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

769 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,931

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,931

5 minutes ago

3,441

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Threads:

It’s important to get out of the house every once and a while to remind yourself of why you don’t go out.

Freshly posted on Discord:

All these laws are really getting in the way of my driving.

Just landed via Reddit:

There’s a fat man inside me dying to get out.

Trending via Twitch:

Wondering when these skinny jeans are gonna kick in.

Live now on Telegram:

If she says “you are my world” remember there are other planets. Stay alert, kings!

Making waves on Telegram:

Women who don’t check a man’s phone will still use their intuition and dreams to find out if he’s cheating.

Just shared via Threads:

Nobody watches you harder than people who don’t like you, so give them a show they will never forget.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

The question I ask myself most often is, “What would a jury think about this?”

Just shared via Facebook:

Holiday dinners with family are like real life boss levels with the worst loot.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Life hack: put on an apron at home and people think you’re super busy doing important stuff even when you’re not.

Home » Funny Yesterday Quotes » Page 4

34 Funny yesterday quotes

More funny yesterday quotes 👇

6 months ago
Share →: Yesterday I really wanted tacos and now I’m eating tacos. Follow your dreams!

Commentary:
🌮 "Yesterday I really wanted tacos and now I'm eating tacos. Follow your dreams! Because in the end, tacos are always the answer to life's toughest questions. Embrace the taco-shaped destiny that awaits you!" 🌮✨
6 months ago
Share →: Sex is like my hair. I didn’t have any yesterday. I didn’t have any today. And unless something drastically changes, I won’t have any tomorrow.

Commentary:
"Sex is like my hair – sparse and elusive! 🙈 Maybe it's playing hard to get? Or perhaps it's just practicing social distancing? Whatever the reason, at this rate, tomorrow's forecast calls for more Netflix and less… well, hair-raising adventures! 💁‍♂️🚫"
6 months ago
Share →: I’m trying to be awesome today, but I’m too exhausted from being so awesome yesterday.

Commentary:
"Being awesome is a full-time job, and yesterday's shift really wore me out! 😅💪 Today, I might just settle for 'slightly above average' and call it a win. #AwesomeStruggles"
6 months ago
Share →: I’m retired. I was tired yesterday and I’m tired again today.

Commentary:
"Sounds like you've mastered the art of tiredness – retired today, re-tired tomorrow! 😂💤"

For even more funny yesterday quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

769 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,931

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,931

5 minutes ago

3,433

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇻 has bookmarked:

It’s crazy people waste their time with hobbies and family when there are strangers on the internet who need to be argued with.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has downloaded:

All I’m dealing with is broken people. Lord, if I’m a mechanic, please tell me.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has shared:

Saw someone from high school. She said she hadn’t seen me in years. That’s likely because I’d always seen her first.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has downloaded:

Maybe the clouds, trees, and flowers love looking at you too.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has viewed:

I don’t make mistakes, I date them.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has downloaded:

I still can’t believe Aldi sells shopping carts for 25 cents. I’ve got 8 of them now and don’t really even have a use for them, it was just too good of a deal to pass up.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has viewed:

They say the human body is 60% water, but after extensive observation of my husband and son, I’d like to submit a revision to the data. Those two are at least 50% wind.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has shared:

God, on inventing the tiger: “Okay, so this is going to be some kind of cat that likes to eat Frosted Flakes.”

Someone from 🇨🇭 has copied:

If you can’t laugh at yourself, I will.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has copied:

My biggest fear about becoming a zombie is all the walking that I’d have to do.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on X:

Coffee should just be free for anybody over 30.

Trending via Pinterest:

I’ve just turned off the news and put on a serial killer documentary to relax.

Trending via WeChat:

Democracy is a fine thing. The bad thing is that the stupid people are allowed to take part.

Going viral on Pinterest:

I’m off to club bed, featuring DJ Pillow and MC Blanky.

Just shared via Instagram:

I may have bags under my eyes, but they’re Versace.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

The only sunscreen that’s 100% effective is abstinence.

Spotted on Twitch:

I hate when flies rub their disgusting little hands together. What could you possibly be plotting? You can’t even get out of the open window.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

I found a box of VHS tapes. I’m a bit nervous about the one that has the label torn off.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

My sneeze is the reason people in the middle ages believed sneezing was caused by demon possession.

Trending via Instagram:

My favorite childhood memory is not paying bills.

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