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Commentary:
"Looks like even God couldn't escape the downsizing trend! 👀🙏 Maybe it's time for some divine job hunting. Who knows, maybe the Creator can try their hand at a new gig under the sun? 🌞 #UnemployedDeity"

divine, God, humor, i, irony, joke, mysterious, mysterious ways, unemployed, unemployment, used, ways, work

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I’m at the age where, if you ask me to go out after 9 p.m., I’m definitely not coming.

1 month ago
9, after, age, age-related, age-related humor, ask, bedtime, coming, definitely, humor, humor about age, late, late night, me, night, night out, nightlife, where
I stopped experimenting in bed after the great honey disaster of 2015.

1 month ago
2015, after, bed, disaster, experiment, great, honey, i, mishap, relationship, stopped
All the stops on the bus are pointless, except the one I’m getting off at.

1 month ago
bus, except, getting, humor, pointless, pointlessness, stop, transportation, travel
I’m really glad that light only attracts insects. Imagine wild boars would come knocking at your windows all the time.

1 month ago
animals, boar, glad, humor, imagination, imagine, insects, knocking, light, nature, only, time, wild, wild boar, Windows
There’s no sadder tableau in all of humanity than the smoker’s terrarium at the airport.

1 month ago
airport, confinement, humanity, humor, irony, sadness, smoker, smokers, terrarium, travel, waiting
My childhood led me to believe that as an adult I’d have to contend with truth serum, lava, quicksand, trap doors, and secret passageways. So far it’s mostly been weight gain and existential dread.

1 month ago
adult, adulthood, believe, childhood, door, doors, dread, existential, existential dread, expectations, gain, humor, ID, irony, lava, led, me, passageway, quicksand, secret, secret passageway, serum, trap, trap door, truth, truth serum, weight, weight gain

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Someone from 🇪🇬 has shared:

They should invent a January that doesn’t drain your will to live.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has downloaded:

Mentally, I’m in a forest screaming. Physically, I’m answering emails with a fake smile and clenched jaw.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has copied:

Autumn at last. Sitting on the sofa all day with a blanket and tea and watching movies. Just like in summer, but with a blanket and tea.

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A guy who never leaves his apartment so he can get the maximum value out of his rent.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has shared:

If you respond to my sarcasm with better sarcasm, then I might just catch feelings.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has copied:

All we needed to be happy in the 90s was music and cigarettes.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has viewed:

Shout out to all the experts on the web who know everything there is to know about absolutely everything.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Threads:

It really annoys me when people use the wrong word and don’t have the humidity to admit it.

Shared recently on Instagram:

I absolutely loooooove getting in the bed. The excitement of finally laying down? Unmatched.

Live now on Reddit:

Petition to change the name of rice cakes to something else as they are 100% rice and 0% cake and I’m tired of all the gaslighting.

Seen just now on Facebook:

The state of my house can best be described as “there seems to have been a struggle”.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

No one shoots at your feet and tells you to dance anymore.

Going viral on Threads:

“Stop talking about old drama!” God forbid a girl and her bestie enjoy their history lessons.

Shared recently on Reddit:

January-me would not believe the life I lived this year.

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Activity Log ✨

God: “I used to work in mysterious ways but now I’m unemployed.”

I stopped experimenting in bed after the great honey disaster of 2015.

All the stops on the bus are pointless, except the one I’m getting off at.

I’m really glad that light only attracts insects. Imagine wild boars would come knocking at your windows all the time.

There’s no sadder tableau in all of humanity than the smoker’s terrarium at the airport.

My childhood led me to believe that as an adult I’d have to contend with truth serum, lava, quicksand, trap doors, and secret passageways. So far it’s mostly been weight gain and existential dread.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

The future is buffering.

Cars should have two horns, one for “excuse me, kind friend,” and another for “curse you and your family for generations.”

I think adults need summer vacation. Like, let’s just close down all our jobs for three months and play outside. Please. I’m so tired.

Can I be speaker? I’m pretty good at saying a lot without saying anything at all.

I’ll stop smoking weed when life stops smoking me.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Just had a fight with every item in my closet. They started it.

This is the wrong generation for people with an old soul.

Dating outside of your education bracket leads to misunderstandings and arguments.

Someone called me strict today, and that means a lot to me because I’m a recovering people pleaser.

What is the morning wood equivalent for women, and why do I always have it?

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Metallica’s “Nothing Else Matters” is my favorite song about that 5 minutes of sleep before the alarm goes off.

Stephen King’s It is the bone chilling story about adults who are forced to spend time with their childhood friends.

Mom asked me what I was drinking the first time I got drunk and I said “breast milk” and now she’s not talking to me.

I hate the person I become when I try to open a package using the ‘Tear Here’ notch, and it stays sealed.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Those astronauts that just landed? They should be greeted by chimpanzees on horses.

August is almost over. September is next week. Time to pick out a Halloween costume and start your Christmas shopping. Happy New Year, everybody.

Using my one phone call to call Santa.

I don’t hate you, I just don’t want to see you alive.

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God: “I used to work in mysterious ways but now I’m unemployed.”

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I’m at the age where, if you ask me to go out after 9 p.m., I’m definitely not coming.

I stopped experimenting in bed after the great honey disaster of 2015.

All the stops on the bus are pointless, except the one I’m getting off at.

I’m really glad that light only attracts insects. Imagine wild boars would come knocking at your windows all the time.

There’s no sadder tableau in all of humanity than the smoker’s terrarium at the airport.

My childhood led me to believe that as an adult I’d have to contend with truth serum, lava, quicksand, trap doors, and secret passageways. So far it’s mostly been weight gain and existential dread.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

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Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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