Trendy Funny Quotes

  • If food delivery apps had never been invented, I would either be wildly rich or dead.
  • Every time your mom tells you that she wants the best for you, she is talking about me.
  • Just once I’d like to wake up, turn on the news, and hear “Monday has been cancelled,” and then go back to sleep.
  • My neighbors were up shouting all night. I could barely hear my bagpipes.
  • If I were God, I’d tell everyone that I created the animals and that I don’t know what happened after that.
  • I don’t need a psychic to tell me which planets make me sad. It’s earth.