Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • My teen is asking for noise-cancelling headphones like I’m going to give him the gift of ignoring me better.
  • The only reason I insist on returning to the office is because my cat needs a break from me staring at him all day.
  • I’m so old I remember when a hashtag was called a pound sign, and we played tic-tac-toe on top of it.
  • Women do not snore. The sound they make at night is just the rewinding of the vocal cords.
  • It goes like this: You are born and then you basically do almost everything wrong. Then you die.
  • Some people pack their lives so full of activities, appointments and people that I get exhausted just reading about it.