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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇪 has copied:

Life hack: If you never leave the house you don’t have to worry about running into someone you don’t want to talk to.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has viewed:

I may forget what I opened the fridge for but I remember every time anyone has ever wronged me.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has bookmarked:

What do you mean I overthink things (as I wonder if I hurt my dog’s feelings by liking cat videos on Instagram)?

Someone from 🇮🇶 has bookmarked:

Maybe the reason Miss Piggy is still single is she has a fear of kermitment.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has bookmarked:

The collective noun for a group of reply guys is an audacity.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has downloaded:

Damn, didn’t win the lottery. It’s messing up my budget plan.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has viewed:

Brains are funny. I can remember every word to a song I haven’t heard in 20 years, but I’ve got no clue what my email password is.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has viewed:

I can’t believe I used to think I was stressed in high school.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has bookmarked:

No matter how sad their story is, don’t let anybody move into your house.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has copied:

Meteorologists are always talking about the weather and hardly ever about meteors.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

777 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,939

Funny Quotes Topics

13,912

Funny Quotes Images

10,939

51 minutes ago

3,441

Social Media Log 💫

Reported on Telegram:

For the amount of meat you get out of clam, I feel like we could just leave them alone.

Just landed via Messenger:

Revenge has no expiry date. I will deal with you when I’m ready.

Going viral on Slack:

I like my money where I can see it: hanging in my closet.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

I made all my money in the 80s selling Rubik’s Hammers. They were for those cubes that thought they were smarter than you.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

Cleaned the bathroom window. Wasn’t frosted glass at all.

Trending via Slack:

Started from the bottom, now we a little bit above the bottom.

Making waves on Twitch:

Most guys probably just have a foot fetish because their first girlfriend was a sock.

Reported on LinkedIn:

My husband needs a hearing aid, but refuses to get one because it’s the key to our happy marriage.

Spotted on Snapchat:

A couple of birds are outside fighting. Wait. They’ve quieted down. There’s a third bird. I think he may be their therapist.

Just shared via YouTube:

Sunday is my favorite day where I pretend I’m going to do something productive.

Heartbreaking: Introvert sentenced to 100 hours of hanging out.

6 months ago

Heartbreaking: Introvert sentenced to 100 hours of hanging out.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
It's a tragic day for all introverts out there! 😂 Imagine the horror of being sentenced to 100 hours of socializing – the horror! 😱 Don't worry, I'll be ready with an escape plan just in case it happens to me. 🔍🏃‍♂️ #IntrovertProblems

activity, extrovert, hanging, hanging out, heartbreak, hours, introvert, isolation, punishment, sentence, social, social activity

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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4 months ago
Share → : If you pass out in front of your kids they will either try to call an ambulance or use you as a trampoline. You just don’t know.
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Share → : When I get tired of shopping, I sit down and try on shoes.
6 months ago
Share → : Roses are red. I’m going to bed.
6 months ago
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Share → : I’m at the “buy bigger jeans” part of my Eat. Pray. Love. journey.

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

777 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,939

Funny Quotes Topics

13,912

Funny Quotes Images

10,939

51 minutes ago

3,437

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇪 has downloaded:

I take issue with furniture that deliberately moves 1 inch when you’re in a rush to get by.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has bookmarked:

The endings of Lost and Game of Thrones each cost me a television.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has viewed:

I am such a fun person and so easy to get along with as long as the layout I have secretly imagined for the entire day goes exactly as I planned it without variation or interruption.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has downloaded:

Just got emotional imagining a worm emerging from its cocoon as a dragonfly and then got even more emotional remembering that’s not what they do.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has viewed:

I hate when people set alarms and it wakes up everybody except for them.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

There’s something meditative about cleaning. It’s the perfect time to reflect and plan revenge on every single person who has ever wronged you.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has copied:

The closest I have ever come to bungee jumping was when I was born.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has viewed:

After cooking show a dishwashing show with same host but kind of drunk.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has bookmarked:

Talking to some people is like folding a fitted sheet.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has viewed:

Have come to the devastating realization that I am an over-nodder on video calls.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Facebook:

Take my advice, I’m not using it.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

I shouldn’t have to go to work if it’s rainy. I should get to stare out the window all day like a cat.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Yeah, I work at the fart bar. Yup. I’m a fartender. Farts on me tonight!

Broadcasted on Twitch:

It’s been my experience that people seem a lot nicer before we get married.

Trending via X:

Church should be less preachy and more eat-y.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Hello, boyfriend? It’s me, girlfriend, from dating?

Seen just now on WeChat:

At least I can say I tried. I didn’t try, but I can say I did.

Trending via Snapchat:

Dear liars, I hope every pair of pants you own are on fire.

Just shared via X:

I’m writing a book on the joys of drinking beer. So far I’ve been through a lot of drafts.

Just shared via Slack:

I want to be like a caterpillar. Eat a lot, sleep for a while, and then wake up beautiful.

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