Wordgag ใƒ„

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ซ has bookmarked:

Love is in the air, but so is the flu. Wash your hands!

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‡ญ has copied:

Noam Chomsky is a crazy name, like you sound hungry as f***.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ณ๐Ÿ‡ช has downloaded:

Rapunzel, let down your CVS receipt!

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฟ๐Ÿ‡ฒ has shared:

There are too many movies about vampire hunters and not enough about vampire gatherers.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฐ๐Ÿ‡ฌ has viewed:

If your storeโ€™s bowl of water is just for pets, you should really put up a sign.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ง has bookmarked:

I logged on to Amazon and they said that they have run out of things that I donโ€™t need.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ฉ has bookmarked:

Never eat more than you can lift.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ญ๐Ÿ‡ท has downloaded:

We go together like Drunk and Disorderly.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ป has bookmarked:

Christmas combines two things I love the most, getting fat and lying to children.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ณ๐Ÿ‡ฎ has bookmarked:

I’m not shaking hands anymore. You may bow or kneel down.

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

2244 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,406

Funny Quotes Topics

15,110

Funny Quotes Images

12,406

Updated

24 minutes ago

Users Online

3,429

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Just landed via Reddit:

Ever look at someone and think you could spend the rest of your life saying โ€œWhat?โ€ to this person?

Making waves on TikTok:

A micromanager is someone you pay to watch your top talent walk away.

Seen just now on Threads:

Garlic and bread is the only marriage I truly have faith in.

Making waves on Twitch:

The word aerobics comes from two Greek words: aero, meaning “ability to,” and bics, meaning “withstand tremedous boredom.”

Just landed via WeChat:

I donโ€™t think you all understand. If Taylor Swift didnโ€™t have a private jet, sheโ€™d be Taylor Slow.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

I need you to put the fun in refund!

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

My sleep apnea was diagnosed at a staff meeting.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Welcome to your 40s! Youโ€™re gonna need several doctors, no matter how many apples.

Trending via Facebook:

Googling “effect vs affect” in an incognito window.

Just shared via Discord:

Iโ€™m just a Whole Foods girl on a Walmart budget.

How does spaghetti know that I’m wearing light-colored clothes?

How does spaghetti know that I’m wearing light-colored clothes?
Download image โ†“

Commentary:
๐Ÿ Spaghetti, the ultimate fashion critic! ๐Ÿ‘— It's like the most stylish detective out there, just waiting to leave its mark on your outfit. ๐Ÿ’ƒ Who knew pasta had such a keen eye for fashion faux pas?! ๐Ÿ˜‚

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Welcome to Wordgag! ๐Ÿ˜‰โœŒ๏ธ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ’ฅ

Trending Funny Quotes ๐Ÿ“ˆ

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

2244 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,406

Funny Quotes Topics

15,110

Funny Quotes Images

12,406

Updated

24 minutes ago

Users Online

3,437

Funny Quotes of the Month ๐Ÿš€

Funny Quotes of the Year โญ

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฉ๐Ÿ‡ฏ has bookmarked:

The word abbreviation sure is long for what it means.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฑ๐Ÿ‡จ has copied:

Sex is cool, but have you ever found an academic article that fits your research topic perfectly and supports all of your claims?

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‡ฑ has shared:

Does no one disappear in the Bermuda Triangle anymore, or is there just too much other news?

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ผ has copied:

When I said you had a โ€œserial killer faceโ€ I had meant it as a compliment. Like, you look like you are very ambitious is what I meant.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‡ฟ has downloaded:

I have high standards for dating because I’m a high-quality woman, and you wouldn’t want me any other way.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฐ๐Ÿ‡ฒ has shared:

I drive safer when there’s food in my passenger’s seat than when there’s a person sitting there.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ฒ has viewed:

Being a dinosaur sounds kinda nice. No bills, no work, just extinct.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡พ๐Ÿ‡ช has viewed:

It may look like I’m doing nothing, but in my head I’m quite busy.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฏ๐Ÿ‡ฒ has downloaded:

Missionary, so I can look him in the eyes and ask him why Ashley from work is texting him with heart eyes.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฉ๐Ÿ‡ช has shared:

Grammar is important. Itโ€™s the difference between feeling your nuts and feeling youโ€™re nuts.

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Going viral on Messenger:

Every Sunday is superbowel if you eat enough chili.

Trending via Discord:

Wanna know a real adult life hack? Don’t tell anyone when you have a day off. Absolutely no one.

Live now on Slack:

People aren’t so bad if you stay indoors and don’t talk to them.

Going viral on Telegram:

Experts say you can make any statement sound more credible by adding ‘experts say’ at the beginning.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Sometimes I wish I understood what some of you said and sometimes I am happy that I donโ€™t.

Broadcasted on Discord:

We should all go into advertising and fix whatโ€™s going on with commercials. They need our help.

Making waves on Twitch:

Please no requests for a threesome. If I want to disappoint two people at the same time, I’ll visit my parents.

Shared recently on Slack:

Once you realize that the general public is retarded, you stop caring about how crazy you look to them.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

I did some exercise in 2010, I should be good for another few years.

Making waves on Facebook:

What I want for dinner hasn’t been invented yet.

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